which I think was entitled Timescape.  In it, Capt. Picard and Lt. Cmdr. Data (the android) are in a time warp of sorts where they enter their ship, The Enterprise, from a shuttle they were on to find that that time has frozen, or so they thought.  

(Please be patient, I am going somewhere with this.)

Actually time has just slowed down to a billioneth or less of its regular pace, and then Data makes a most unsettling discovery:  He shows the Captain a breech in the main reactor containment vessel, a breech which, if time were running normally, would cause the ship to explode in an instant.

(We're just about to the point now.)

The Captain asks Data:  "How do we prevent this from happening?"  Data responds:  "We can not prevent it sir, it has already happened!)

And so it was with you my friend.

I would avoid throwing good money after bad, and you can ask for your money back, but let's face it, another Star Trek maxim applieds to that, that being the First Rule of Acquistion of the Ferengi:

"Once you have their money, you never give it back."

And ain't that the truth?

First off, as a newbie I want to say thanks for all the great info on the board.  I'm back in the hobby after several years,  My first time was wonderful; got the VIP reviews, TCB, and had a wonderful time.

My second time, not so good. Had a scheduling conflict, so I had to go for 2nd, then 3rd choice. No reviews at the providers request, which I guess should have been a flag. Next, she opened the envelope right in front of me. Things started to go well, but then the upselling started.  It seemed that nothing was on the menu.

I realize now that you must do the research.  However, my question is, what is the proper way to handle this situation?  Is this something to always be prepared for? Iwant to always be respectful, but don't want to be disappointed in the future.

You've answered your own question as to how to avoid the upsell.   I have never been upsold, but I think you're caught between a rock and a hard spot when confronting upsell.  You can give in and pay, or cut your losses and just accept whatever services are available for the fee paid.  I would not recommend confronting the lady. You did not mention if this was incall or outcall. If it was incall, you have no idea if she has someone with her. If it's outcall to a hotel, then the room is in your name and who knows what could happen. As far as respect for a lady who tires to upsell you, well, I wouldn't have much.  Like I said, in the subject line, it's all in the research.  
As far as having a Plan B or C, I prefer the plan to be someone I've already seen, who wouldn't mind seeing me on very short notice.  If you don't have that alternative, since you're a newb, I suggest you just call it a day'evening and call it quits.

The instant she starts upselling, I would lose all respect for her, as well as my buzz. To continue would be pointless, and to pay her extra unthinkable. Do you believe an upseller can be counted on to deliver what she promises?

On my way out I would take the envelope, too, if possible, leaving maybe a token amount for her. If she'd already stashed away the money, I would simply write it off as a loss, and not try to salvage any compromised service for it.

I've never encountered this with an escort, but I've had some experience with strippers who upsell, and basically the same zero tolerance approach served me well. The difference is that with escorts there is more at stake in terms of time and money, but with research we should be able to avoid upsellers altogether.

some ladies block reviews on one site but accept them on another (ask).   I have a bucket list of well reviewed ladies in my area that I'd like to see one day...   I look for consistantly good reviews (not relying on the numbers) and allowing for a single case of bad chemistry per page of reviews.   Any hint of a scam, upsell, or the like, flushes them off my list, period.  
Quality providers know their (stage) name & reputation are valueable & do their best to give fair & honest service...  
BTW, the no reviews request is fine if quality service is provided.  If there's a scam or upselling involved, I would attempt to review.  If she has registered as DE LISTED on TER then your review will not be approved...  but at east you'll have tried to warn your fellow members.   You might want to write your review draft now but hold it for a bit (you have 90 days to submitt) so she'll not be sure who submitted the review (lest she try to retaliate).

Ha...awesome!

you're sure the fee is all-inclusive. Normally, with a well-reviewed provider, you will already be sure of this before you get there. However, in the situation the OP describes, at the point where she goes through the envelope, he should stop her from stashing it and insist that it stays on the countertop until the session is over. She's taken the liberty of confirming that you're not cheating her, and now she has to grant you the same, or else kiss the money goodbye.

If you're not comfortable with that kind of confrontation as a prelude to sex, that's yet another reason to see only providers you know you can trust.

Thanks all for confirming what I figured the case.  I guess this is a situation of live and learn...  and always do the proper research!

Oh no no no see i've never cheated anyone and don't expect it but I don't put nothing past anyone ever. One I have the money and confirm it's all there it's being put away even if i've seen them 100 times...i don't leave money hanging out around anyone. So yes of course before he even enters the room he needs to look on her site or reviews or simple ask if the fee is all-inclusive before he leaves his house to go to her incall or before she arrives to him.

Simply ask if it's all inclusive if not ask what would the fee be to make it so?  You shouldn't always be prepared for an upsell but nothing like research. If nothing about her services is on the site or you don't see what you like talked about in reviews respectfully ask. We don't all freak out if you just flat out ask.

particularly on the first meeting.  Ladies are just as concerned about being scammed & ripped off as we are.  I guess if one has had it happen, makes one want to not let it happen again.   The best way is to stay will well reviewed ladies & to have a bucket list ready.   As a Newbie, I had some less than great experiences...  this has not happened since I found TER.   VIP costs far less than even one spoiled date...  and one does not need VIP continously, just when working on your list.  
Well reviewed means consistantly good reviews (need not be all "10s")  I expect such a subjective accessment to vary some...  but no HUGE swings.  I'll consider overlooking one "bad chemistry review" per page of reviews...  I do not go by the numbers...  often times different numbers can be hung on equally good events.

LoL, I remember the episode, and GREAT analogy...

This upselling thing isall new to me. In the Uk we don't do that at least not high end ladies. Our donation or fee is set and thats that. I couldn't imagine having such an embarrasing conversation with a gent about what exactly he wants and adding it all up.... kinda spoils the moment no!!!! and if there was going to be any chemistry surely there wouldn't be now!!!! That sounds like a horrid experience but then I guess it wouldn't do if all ladies were the same but i think i'll be sticking to what i know so no upselling for me, thats more like a trip to walmart not an encounter with a high class companion

Keep having fun everybody, Casey x

-- Modified on 5/19/2011 5:11:28 AM

Never been upsold because I do my research ahead of time and see only well-reviewed, quality providers.