things arent all the good with the misses and have been looking to spice things up a bit.  never done this before so i'm kinda looking for the do's and dont's.  suggestions appreciated

Welcome to the Newbie Board! Your best bet is to just sit down and read the threads of interest to you over the past few weeks and most questions will be answered several times with different viewpoints. Then come back and post specific questions you may still have.

also to the left under Nationals Board type in specific topics in the "In Search Of".  
Your next question will be "how do I see a provider with no referrences" so you might want to check that topic out as well.
Good luck as we've all been there.

Read back at least a couple of pages on each board...  you'll learn tons!
skb