So many ???? Have one referral and seems like all I wanna do is play but am trying to be careful and have seen quite a few so y cnt I get more and more any help of suggestions would help

Second: read the "self help center" (find it at the top of the page by the life preserver)

Third: read back a bunch of pages on this board as all your questions have probably been answered here already.

Fourth: use the search feature at the top of the page to look up specific topics (reset the date range to go back farther than the default 30 days)

Fifth: come back and ask specific questions if you still don't have answers. (preferably using real words and complete sentences)

Happy New Year

if you are not seeing TER members, they can't review you unless they join the site.  They do not have to be paying members, basic free is fine.  When they write a review, they will get 15 free VIP membership days.
You can tell them that.

Swim

Words strung together form sentences.  Sentences convey thoughts.  Sentences strung together form paragraphs.  Paragraphs denote different topics or points of view.

Most women will just delete any email that sounds like a guy is hooked on phonic, or worse...assume you are some kid playing around on the net.