So here I am, 25 and I'm still a virgin. As I've grown older the gravity of this issue has grown stronger. I try no to think about it and I try not to let it affect me, but at this point it's become a real problem. I've decided that planning my first time with an escort will be the best thing for me, just to get over that initial awkwardness and uncertainty. I've been doing some research and reading this forum, but I still have questions about "hobbying" in general.

For the first time
Incall/Outcall-- should I have any preference?

Condoms and STDs -- This goes both ways. How does she know if I have something and visa versa? Should I bring my own condoms?

Money exchange, proper lingo -- Money in an unsealed envelope. Do I hand it to her, place it on the nightstand, or wait for her to ask for it? At the beginning or at the end? It's strictly a donation for time spent with me, so neither of us mention "money for sex", or anything similar, correct? What would be a good warning sign?

When scheduling, should I mention it's my first time, or just say it's my first time hobbying? I'm not sure how people handle that kind of confession.

That's basically it. Any other advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks

Incall or Outcall: What feels most comfortable for you?  But you may want to be very careful on how you bring into your space without knowing them all that well.  You may want to go to incall at first.

Condoms and STDS - The ladies usually provide them.  They may be afraid you've tampered with them if you bring your own.  Yes, I know but yeah it happens.  And there are no guarantees, but escorts are most concerned with cleanliness and good health.  It's our livelihood, if we get sick or catch something we can't work, so we are probably more careful than a drunken one night stand picked up at the local bar.  

Money exchange - This is dependent on the lady you see. I don't care about an envelope sealed or unsealed, just lay it out so that I see it and no one mentions it is what I like best.  I will discretely put it away when you are in the bathroom so not to be tacky or spoil the mood.  

NEVER EVER mention money for sex in any form of communication.

You should probably mention that it is your first time and look for newbie friendly ladies.  I don't think there is too much that can surprise most of us.  

Some ladies do have age restrictions, but some go by a case by case basis like myself.  If you are polite, pass screening, don't haggle, sound intelligent and sane over the email and phone, we would be good to go.  

Oh yah, don't fall for any "send us your credit card info" scams either!

Stay safe and happy hobbying.  
XOXO  

First of all you should stick to well reviewed providers. What well reviewed means will differ depending who you ask. To me it means 6 or more "good" reviews written by hobbyists with several to many reviews written themselves. A lady with 2 or 3 reviews all written by first time reviewers is not 'well reviewed." That is not saying that a lady with few or no reviews will be bad. It's just not a good idea for a "newbie" to see her. If you are not VIP here yet, spend the 30 bucks and get VIP at least for one month. It will allow you to read the juicy details of the reivews, and allow you to use the PM function to message people here.

Read back on this forum ten or so pages. You will probabloy see many of your questions have  
already been answered here. Also you can use the search feature at the top of this page, to search for posts on specific topics. the default search range is 30 days, but you can change that to 300 or so to search farthur back. You can also feel free to ask more questions on this forum. The host "swimtreker" and all his "highly unpaid" assistants are all here to share information and help newbies. You can also PM Swim if there is something you don't want to ask on the public forum. However, just reading back and doing a search will probably answer most if not all your questions, as just about everything has been asked and answered before.

Read the self help guide under the life preserver at the top right of this page. You will also learn a lot from there.

As to your specific questions: Incall or outcall is your choice, but you are probalby better off with an incall situation for your first date.

STDs/Condoms. She doesn't know if you have anything and you don't know if she does. This is a risky hobby, and everyone is responsible for their own safety and the level of risk they are willing tol take. Having said that, most good escorts will be very clean, and get tested regularly. This is their livelyhood, and they will take their own safety and health seriously. A lot of people say that providers are probably cleaner and safer than "civie" girls you might meet in a bar. As Fallon said, the lady will normally provide the condoms. You should definitely use condoms for any vaginal or anal sex. For oral sex, condom use can be optional. Some ladies will provide BBBJ (no condom) and some will provide only covered. Some hobbyists will only see ladies who do bbbj, and some are okay with covered, and some request only covered. It is up to your level of risk tolerance. The same goes for DATY and kissing.

Money: never discuss money or sex in your communication with the lady before or during the date. Ladies differ whether they want it in an envelope or not, and some hobbyists differ in how they present it also, but it is generally safe to put it in an unsealed envelope and leave it on a desk/counter/nightstand, where she can easily see it. Definitley do not wait for her to ask for it, and it should be there at the beginning of the session. Don't even mention it. For me if I go to an incall, the envelope will be in my back pocket, and as she opens the door to greet me, I will usually exchange a hello and a hug, as I reach for the envelope in my pocket and toss it on the nearest table or counter, then I excuse myself to the bathroom. If it is an outcall and she comes to me, then the envelope is already sitting on the bathroom counter, or on a table in the room where she will put down her stuff, so it will be easy to spot and never talked about.

First time: Yes you should mention it is you first time when scheduling. You should also llook for newbie friendly providers (as well as well reviewed). Many people also recommend that newbies should see more mature providers.

Good luck, have fun, and stay safe

You are getting good information here, but I sense that you may need more personal assistance.  As a novel suggestion, why not find a seasoned mentor to get you through your baptism under fire?  Depending on your preference and comfort level, you could contact a well-reviewed provider or possibly search-out a seasoned hobbyist to serve as a mentor.  I know that, based on my experience with this board, there are many helpful, caring people out there that have an abundance of knowledge and would be more than willing to mentor you. As a first step, why not contact a well-reviewed provider in your area, explain your situation, and ask for her assistance?  What is the worst she can say, NO!  If she agrees to assist you, she will probably guide you through the process with minimal stress and anxiety. Also, she can probably connect you with one of her friends that she thinks is "your type". The upside is you will be guided, in a sensitive way, through your first experience.  For her the upside is that she will make some money and may make a long-time "friend'.  If you decide to use a male mentor, I would suggest sending an email request to someone in your geographic region that posts frequently on this board and your local board, has over ten reviews (arbitrary number on my part), and is respected by members of this community (based on reading threads). Good luck.

I can only add this.  As a newbie in this wonderful venture, stick to incalls at first.  Avoid outcalls with an provider until you have seen her several times, reason being you want to trust a stranger coming into your home.  A few visits with her will tell you about her character.  It also depends on where you live.  If you are in a subdivision, are your neighbors the nosy type or does everyone pretty much stick to themselves?  Same goes for an apartment complex.  If it's a busy one, then one extra person coming to visit you will probably not be noticed.

I'm not going to repeat the already posted answers, they are very good.  Read them carefully.  Read the self help center, the link is under the life preserver at the top of this page.  It has lots of helpful information for you.

Swim

to the excellent responses you've gotten so far.  Most well-reviewed gals will have a web site.  Go to the part that says "Etiquette" or "FAQs" and you'll find info about how she wishes her dates to conduct themselves re the envelope and everything else about the date.
As for the suggestion about finding a monger mentor I think you'll find that hard.  One alternative is to also post on your local board.  I'm sure you'll find helpful people there.  They can guide you to a local gal who'll see you and be compatible.
Best of luck.  I hope you have a great first experience.  It should free you up to be more confident with civvie girls.  And do beware of emotional entanglements.  You do not want to confuse sex with love and be another guy who laments, "I"ve fallen for a provider and I can't get up."

inicky gave you an excellant pointer I want to highlight.  I wish I'd been educated on this  before I got married (the first time).  It is totally normal to fall for someone you have great sex with.  It's hormonal.  You can't help it.  I "fall for" every lady I have sex with...  until I'm with someone else.  These hormones were useful to protect the women & offspring in the cave man days...   Not so much today where they cloud your understanding of what is really happening.  

What happens behind closed doors is frequently described or advertized as the GFE...  Girl Friend Experience.  It is an ILLUSION.  We all know & accept it is an ILLUSION...  of what it might ideally be like if said lady was our GF.  Without any of the baggage that comes with a real relationship.  You DO NOT love her.  You LOVE what she does.  You love the sensations.  You DO NOT love her.  She does NOT LOVE you.  In fact, saying the "L word" can be like poison to a provider.   The last thing she can afford is to have a client get clingy or fall for her...  these can lead to a stalker situation & are very dangerous to her.  A gentleman who mutters the L word can expect to be shown the door and/or refused further appointments.  Keep your heart on a short leash.

As a Virgin...  and a young man...  you may well & I hope you do, find someone in the civie world.  The knowledge & practice of sex skills will help you make up for losttime & make you a good lover.  Toward this end you should ask for not just a climax for yourself but equal time in learning to please a wman in bed.  Realizing that women as are men, are all constructed differently in detail there is a certain commonality.  The best hint I can give you is to NOT try to "give her" an Orgasm.  Rather, become an observer of women.  Pay attentuion to the things each one likes in the moment.  I like to say that I am the motor...  but my partner is the driver.  For instance, rather than my pinning her to the bed & my taking it in the direction I think of, I let her move against me in a the way & direction which she enjoys.  

The confidence of being sexually skilled will show through into your civie dating.  My first date after breaking up with my first GF/sexual partner...  with in a minute or 2 of us being alone...  she could sense that I was more sexually skilled than she was or wanted to be right then.  That was 1968.  Times are different now & most women your age are probably not virgins...  so you may be more of on an even par with them if you have some experience.  

If you are going to embark on this...  this is a secret world.  There is still a stigma to it.  You must NEVER tell anyone.  Not your best friend, your brother, your buddy & certain not a GF or even the girl you are about to marry (at some point in the future).   You can say you've had GFs before.  You never say how long they were your GFs for!  ("GFE" get it!)   Blabbing has got a lot of guys in trouble & the last thing you need is some drunk buddy to stand up at your wedding to toast "the girl who took Fred away from whoring!"  

The last was deliberately shocking but civies do not get it.  I am good friends with my Fav ladies.   I treat them with respect & kindness & they return the favor to me as well.  

Another benifit of seeing providers is that it relieves the pressure to get your nuts off.  The result of this is that you are then free to actually get to know civie women without rushing to bed with them.   If a date does not resultin a hook up...  no problem.  The next night you can see a provider & are assured that at theend of it you'll be satisified.

I do recommend that you take all privacy precautions...  keep your phone & email separate from your civie life.  If you are in a relationship, you do not have to worry about tracks coming back to haunt you.  It's not manditory but at least consider it.  

I would recommend "well reviewed" providers...  MILFs & such +/- 29.  Young enough to still be sexy & hot but experienced enough to be a good teacher / guide.   You might even post on your local board "ISO" In Search Of a newbie friendly provider for an inexperienced guy.  

Oh, yes, this hobby can be habit forming.  NEVER spend the rent money or the car payment.  Save up your "spending money".  Skip booze.  Brown bag your lunches.  What ever.  

I wish you well,
skb                  

Wow! I'm blown away you guys! I can't say how glad I to have found this forum. I feel so much better about the situation. Thanks for answering the logistic questions I had about incalls, condoms and payment. I think I'll go with an incall and I am much more comfortable with the payment and std concerns.

I also appreciate the comments about finding a mentor, not falling and love, and keeping this plan close to the chest. Hormones and emotions will run high, but I know I need to keep the reality of the situation in mind and not let myself get attached. I also think it will be best not to tell anyone baout this. I've been pondering that for a while, but with the excellent community of people I have found here, there should be no need.

As I've been looking for providers I notice that major cities are the best place to look (duh). I can get to Boston, NYC, or Montreal in about 3 hours from where I am (roughly Albany, NY). I really haven't found much in my area and I don't mind taking a day off for this. One question I have is about price range. $300/hr seems to be the going rate for a lot of beautiful women. Sound about right?

Again, thanks for the great info. Glad to be here

Wow! I'm blown away. Really good advice from everybody. I did't know what to expect when initially posting here, but these responses exceeded anything I imagined. I'm in the process on planning an incall now and I'm much more comfortable with what I'm doing.

I also appreciate the advice about finding a mentor, not falling in love, and keeping this to myself. Emotions and hormones are going to run high, but I have to keep it all in perspective. I agree that I shouldn't be telling anyone about this... that was something I was thinking of doing. I've enjoyed reading the advice given here I don't see a need to take the conversation outside of this forum.

After doing some research today I sent a few providers introduction messages. Also, I joined P411 because that seemed to be the most legit and safe way to verify my identity. Really glad to be "taking the bull by the horns" on this one. Thanks everyone!

Exactly what he needed to hear, thanks for covering the bases for a newbie who needs us to guide him and make sure he doesn't equate sex for love.

Hey everyone. First off, thanks for all the great advice! I am really blown away with how honest and forthcoming the relies have been.

Second, I have tried posting a response a few times now, and they haven't showed up. I'm logged on, I write my rely, type in the key phrase, press post message... The screen says it was successfully posted, but I can't see them on the forum. ?

All these people who are sharing their knowledge and experience with you to try and make this a safe and enjoyable time. Price range depends on what your willing and able to safely spend in the hobby. Some services are not provided at certain rates. Some are all inclusive. What you need to do is look at the ladies reviews and see if she provides what you think you are looking for within a price range your able to spend. Just because a lady charges more doesn't mean she is a better provider. Likewise there are some true gems to be found at lower rates. It was mentioned before that your should try to hobby within your means. I might have also missed it but one thing you should try to do most of all is just have FUN. Don't try and set to high of an expectation on what is going to happen and don't get frustrated. The ladies can sense that. If your not having fun then neither is the lady.

juicy details of the reviews, as well as see the price info.  A provider's profile is established by the first reviewer and sometimes updated through problem reports or providers themselves.  Use the lady's rate you find on her website since the rate in her profile may be outdated.

Be clean and respectful and treat the provider like the lady she is and you will do fine.

Good luck.

As keystone and driller have mentioned, you can find a lady's rates on her ads websites and TER profile. (though the profile rate could be old as kkk said). It's hard to answer you ad to what "sounds about right" as rates will vary between providers and geographic areas. A good gfe lady can be anywhere from 200 to 700 and even higher per hour. You can look at the reviews (with your VIP) and maybe get an average for the area but there still could be some big variation. You have to know what you can afford. In general just the three areas you mentioned, New York average prices will be higher than Boston, and Montreal will be lower. Yes location can make a difference.
Good Luck. Come back and report and write a review after your experience.

Because you are brand new, your posts are "moderated." That means someone has to check them out and approve them before they actually post to the board. All new posters are moderated. After you have made a bunch of posts on the boards and it seems that you can post without breaking the rules, you can get unmoderated. At that point your posts will post instantly. If you break a rule or don't behave yourself after that, you can get moderated again. In the past each of the discussion boards had a moderator. Swimtreker was the moderator here on the newbie board. While he is still around giving advice as the host, he now has no moderation powers. TER eliminated the moderators postions a few weeks ago and are now doing the moderation at the administration level. I assume to get unmoderated now you probably have to "contact admin." In the past, you would just contact the moderator of your local board, or sometimes they would just unmoderate people on their own when they knew the person's posting history. For now just be patient. Type up your post and wait for it to appear. You will notice now that you have two very similar posts up. Since your first one didn't appear, you typed up another one, then this one that I just replied to. Now they are all up. By the way, did the message really say "successfully posted" or did it say "will be approved shortly." There used to be a different message before if you were moderated. Of course you would have to post another post now to find out

You are right. It does say something to the effect of "will be posed after approval". My bad for repeat posts.

It is frustrating some times because you post something and you have to wait for it to get approved. Sometimes by the time your post posts, nobody is looking at the thread But we all went through it. If you stick around and keep posting, and don't harass anyone, and don't break the rules, you will eventually get unmoderated. In the meantime just be patient, and wait for the post to get approved. As you get over your "newbieness" you can post on your regional board or the general board.

Yes, when I was a moderator, I could moderate someone for inappropriate posting or unmoderate them if they showed they could follow the rules of posting.  As PS said, I no longer have that power.  Posting on your regional board is probably the best way to get moderation removed.  If you demonstrate proper posting etiquette, it should not take too long.

Swim

For the first time...  I would suggest you ask for 2 hours.  You will want to get aquainted first & don't rush to finish...  it will happen.  Take the time to feel the warmth of her body, the shapes of her curves.  How it excites you.   Kiss her.  Kiss her all over.  take turns.   Enjoy every minute.
Ordinarily an hour is enough for a GFE experience...  nut when I started I booked a lot of hour & a half meetings.   I recommend you avoid shorter "quickie" appointments...  
As I said earlier you want the lady to know you are inexperienced...   some fine ladies are excellant teachers for young gentlemen.  As a matter of fact, in Colonial America an older male realitive would often take the young gentleman to a trusted Lady for their carnal education.   It would be nice if the lady made it special for you.
Stay away from alcohol & drugs.  You want all your senses working.   For longer appointments you can bring snacks &/or beverages.  Leave all beverages sealed until opened in their presense.  Just as in a night club, ladies often disgard drinks that have left their sight.
Skip flowers which are not discreet to carry in.  Sometimes I like to bring in a couple of small jar candles (bring matches)...  place them safely away from the bed.  Most meetings are in hotels.  A small overnight bag does not look out of place to carry things in...  or a shopping bag of cloth or paper...  like you went shopping.  NO gift bags.  It's all about being discreet.      
The most tense thing is getting into the hotel.  Make your call from the car outside at the exact time get the room number & directions through the lobby to the elevator so you don't look lost.  Then put your phone away.   Knock gently on the door...  she's expecting you.
skb

transaction if theres any sex goin g on,  or anything else you shouldnt be doing for that matter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

be excited!!
Take the advice given here,
pick the hottest lady that you can find and go get your dick wet!!
Tiz why they call them providers, they ( the women ) will provide you with a good time.
You will walk out with a smile on your face, feeling like a stud!!
Good Luck Man!!

Boston...check out the lady above, angelexotic. ( cool lady and way hot! )

-- Modified on 2/22/2012 8:43:37 AM