"Hi, saw your ad and wanted to schedule an X hour incall at X time. Are you available then?" Incall means an appointment at her place versus outcall which means she comes to your address.
Assuming she says yes, ask her for the address and hopefully you'll be on your way. Don't overthink it. Just imagine you're calling for a massage and you'll be fine. If she asks for references, well you're kind of screwed in that respect. This is where a P411 or Date-check account will help you. I started hobbying about 2 years ago and this is what I've learned: Get TER VIP access - Full access to reviews means you know exactly what type of service you're getting for what cost. P411 - Was great for an initial reference since I was a newbie. Consider getting it. Providers - Multiple recent reviews (10+) mean she is legit. Added bonus if she has a current P411 account to go along with it.Hey everyone, excited to become a part of this unique community but I have a few questions and concerns; any input would be greatly appreciated.
To start with, I'm a little perplexed by the verification process. What seems to be the most popular service? P411 or Datecheck? Is there really no way around sending them my real information, and having them contact me at work? I guess I'd do it if there was really no other choice, but this expectation seems a little crazy to me in the era of NSA spying; even if they say they delete the data I wouldn't be surprised if it was being intercepted somehow anyway. Is P411 at least not based in the US? How certain can we be that P411 itself is not one big LE honeypot? I was hoping that I could purchase my membership with bitcoin and use a fake ID with a fake name for all hobbying purposes, but I guess I'm shit out of luck in that regard huh?
A few questions concerning TER itself as well. If I signed up for VIP access would I be able to say, filter the search to only show providers within the price range of 200-500$? Furthermore, seeing as (if I'm understanding this whole thing correctly), you do not actually conduct business through TER, but rather simply find providers and leave reviews, do I have any reason to use my real name when creating an account here?
I also have a few worries in regards to LE avoidance and what in this business generally constitutes a red flag. I've been eyeing one provider in particular that is absolutely everything I'm looking for, and she comes at a very modest rate of 250/hr. It seems odd to me, however, that she appears to operate not out of a hotel but her own apartment; an apartment with a doorman no less. Just about every one of her reviews, of which there are well over 100 mention having to get passed a doorman. This apartment is also located in a particularly expensive part of the city, midtown Manhattan; which seems a little strange considering her extremely low prices. I guess that could just be paranoia talking, 250$ an hour untaxed is nothing to scoff at really; but still. She seems to require no screening, which is great because it means I wouldn't have to pay and give my information to a verification service, but also seems a little sketch at the same time. The thing that makes me so unsure what to think about all of this, is that she has so many reviews across several years. Surely if it was a trap word would have gotten around by now right? Is there a hole in that logic that I'm not seeing?
In a more general sense regarding LE, is their presence in this community at all documented? Are there any known cases of LE posing as providers on TER to entrap hobbyists? Or of providers being compromised and turned into moles?
Finally, a question of a completely different nature. I've never tried the whole p4p thing before. For those of you who got into this for reasons beyond just having fun, would you say that your experience here has at all helped your confidence with women? I haven't been with anyone in a long time, and one of the things I'm hoping to get out of this is some relief from my anxieties. Do you feel any less lonely as a result of your hobbying? I really have no idea what to expect, or what kind of effect this whole thing is going to have on me.
Thank you all, and I'm deathly sorry again for the wall of text, but let's just say I wouldn't do well in prison
First of all: Welcome to TER, and I think your questions are great.
Yes, you must give out that info to the screening agencies or how could they ever screen you? They all have a stellar reputations for discretion, and I have not once heard of them in any way compromising a client.
Yes, you may filter for any of the information that is contained in the filters you'll find in the search reviews section of TER. In fact, anyone can do this, you don't even have to have joined TER.
You must give TER an email to use to contact you, but I never heard of that email having to be in your real name, so no.
Providers with a long review history generally do not present any kind of LE risk, so go ahead and see this gal. Doormen are souls of discretion themselves, so don't let that get to you.
To my knowledge, nothing on TER has ever been presented in a courtroom to convict a person of a crime. It would present a large hurdle to the prosecution because the prosecutor would have to subpoena records from TER to verify them. TER's servers are located in The Netherlands, and as P4P is legal there, that country can not assist in a prosecution for something that is legal where they are. So you can relax on this one.
As for moles, there is a phenomenon called flipping where LE gets either a provider or client to assist them in making a bust. It is rare but not unknown, and paying attention to your local board where such goings are reported is a good idea.
And on your final question, I would answer a resounding "yes".
By the way, have you read the Newbie/Self Help Manual yet? If not, I recommend you do so as soon as possible as it will answer a lot of questions about TER and the hobby in general. You'll find it linked on this page.
I wish you success in this new venture.
I'm new to all of this myself. From what I gather from research don't mention your donation. Don't mention sums. These are safeguards there to protect both you and the provider. I also read that you don't talk about specifics. This is meant to be somewhat of a journey and the provider will guide you along. Look especially for newbie friendly ones! I'll tell you what the other night was my first time and I remember looking out my hotel room and seeing two LE vehicles parked directly under my hotel window and a LE van parked down the block. I was sweating bullets and had so much running through my mind at the time. I did it anyway. But I was cognisant of the advice I'd read above. I was STILL scared. I mean for me specifically something like this could end my career before it even began. My advice is do it. You might be nervous the first time but I think just like anything the more you do it the more you'll find you're comfortable with it.
The penultimate para mentioned a number of possible things - confidence with women, anxiety relief, loneliness.
Confidence with women. I don't think it has increased or decreased my confidence with women; it's a whole different thing - there is an envelope involved - you WILL get "lucky" - just not the same thing. Relax - be yourself - have fun - which actually is a good prescription to improve your relations with women outside of P4P....
Anxiety Relief - No question that a good schtupping mproves my mood and outlook on life.
Loneliness . Honestly - Don't even think about P4P as a remedy for that. This will NOT help that. Do NOT go there. Join match.com; join a local civic group or charity, go to church, go out to a bar, join a bowling league, whatever. Meeting a lovely young lass for a few hours of hot sex - and then going home - is really not going help and may, in fact, increase your sense of isolation. P4P is a transient, temporary thing; if you try to make it something else - it will not end well
Thanks for all of the great responses everyone, you've been a big help. I guess I just have to take the leap now, but man am I still nervous. So as long as this particular girl has lots of positive reviews these circumstances don't set off any alarm bells?
Also, I know you aren't supposed to discuss money or services over the phone and whatnot, but what exactly DO you discuss over the phone? I would have preffered to text, but this particular lady takes calls. Would anyone mind giving me a general script of what to say? I know I'm gonna be nervous and don't want to say anything stupid
"Hi, saw your ad and wanted to schedule an X hour incall at X time. Are you available then?" Incall means an appointment at her place versus outcall which means she comes to your address.
Assuming she says yes, ask her for the address and hopefully you'll be on your way. Don't overthink it. Just imagine you're calling for a massage and you'll be fine. If she asks for references, well you're kind of screwed in that respect. This is where a P411 or Date-check account will help you.
I started hobbying about 2 years ago and this is what I've learned:
Get TER VIP access - Full access to reviews means you know exactly what type of service you're getting for what cost.
P411 - Was great for an initial reference since I was a newbie. Consider getting it.
Providers - Multiple recent reviews (10+) mean she is legit. Added bonus if she has a current P411 account to go along with it.
Thanks a ton. It's kosher to use the word incall?
I usually say I would like to meet at your place.
Well, today was supposed to finally be the day; but no dice, oh well.
I've found two other providers I would be interested in seeing, but I've got a few more questions about verification. When a lady's website says simply that "references" are required, does that mean I need to be vouched by another provider, or will being P411 verified do just as well? What if she doesn't specify what her screening requirements are at all? Do I just assume she doesn't have any?
I would just ask them myself, but I know discretion is extremely important when talking on the phone and I'm not sure if these questions are kosher to ask. I would hate to accidentally wind up on anybodies blacklist.