It may seem foolish to some to bring up such topics on a site like TER, however I'm hoping that the community can set my mind at ease.

I've considered seeing a provider for well over a year. Rationally, I have no problem with it, in fact it makes sense for a man in my position. I'm 26 and thus far have experienced no real sex, only spoiled self centered and otherwise hurtful relationships. I think that the right provider could help me restore my confidence. I've even paid for VIP and favorited a few lovely ladies.

The thing is, I just can't seem to get myself to pull the trigger. Perhaps it's just a heavy-handed moralist upbringing, or societal conditioning, but I'm having trouble reconciling myself with the idea of being a hobbyist. I even watched an NPR debate on legalization, trying to figure out whether this is the right choice (for me, not judging other people). The last thing I want to do is have my desires be responsible for harming another human being.

Understand that none of the above is me passing judgement, except perhaps on my own choices. I wouldn't be on the site if I was a complete stick in the mud. These are merely the ramblings of a man trying to find the right path for himself.

Help a goody-two-shoes out?

you are way too moralistic..pull the trigger..he who hesitates is lost..

give it try - if you don't like it - don't do it again.  If you find you do like it (which I'm guessing you will), then have fun with it, just don't let it interfere with your personal life and whatever you do DON'T fall in love with the girl (I say that b/c you say you've never had "real sex"), and if you go with a really go GFE-type, it can seem pretty darn real.

She's ready and waiting for your call....

I too have had this moral dilema that you seem to be having on many occasions.  I seem to do all this research and get so close but cant seem to follow through most of the time.  And when I finaly do, the experience turns out alot less than anticipated (shitty).   There seems to be this build up of all this unkown and then you have that inner argument , "am i doing the right thing", "i shouldnt waste the money" yada yada etc...  I will say this however, if you are going to do it, then bite the bullet and follow through.  But please do not guage the entire experience on just one visit with one person.  There has been a time or two, where I was nothing but thankful that I followed thorugh and met a provider, had a wonderful time with absolutly no regrets, as well as fulfilled an inner animalistic thing.  Not just the sex, but some sort of wierd connection you make and you end up feeling good about yourself afterwards as opposed to guilt or shame.  I hope I am making an some sense with my ranting.  All in all, your not alone and there are many of us out there, weather we care to admit it or not, that hear that little voice inside.  I have had this problem on many occasions and seem to drop the ball more often than going through with it.  Keep your head up and do what you feel you WANT to do, and dont worry about anyone else.  Also, please do your research, there is nothing more discerning than a bad provider experience that will fuck you up in the head any time you think of going down this road again and takes a little while to get past that, forgetting the moral part.  Best of luck and remember, we only live once and we should enjoy as much of our lives as possible, without looking back saying, shit, I should have done that.

The longer you stay pool-side, the sooner you'll take that plunge.  When you do, you'll find the water much to your liking, I'd wager to say.

It seems to me that your moral dilemma has a lot to do with wanting to avoid exploiting or taking advantage of someone, what the negative implications of being a man who "pays for it" are, and your own personal levels of confidence.

Because you have not yet "pulled the trigger", I'm assuming that you have some assumptions about what a provider/hobbyist relationship looks like. This can be especially true if you read these boards a lot. From an outside perspective it can seem really unnatural, perhaps mechanical or detached. Despite reading great reviews and posts about wonderful, passionate experiences, the fact that you know money has been exchanged might make it seem less real to you. It is important to understand that these relationships take many forms and that in some cases, providers and their regular clients can become really good friends and have great relationships outside of the intimacy. It is not like any other service.

It is also important for you to understand BEFORE pulling the trigger that the majority of the women on these boards are autonomous women who are students, professionals, and all sorts of intelligent, smart women who are making decisions on behalf of their bodies and themselves. These are women who understand your desires and who have desires of their own as well.

I think it would good for you to have clear, thorough communication with a provider before you go all the way. And this may be hard because some providers like to "get to the point". However, perhaps you can post on your local board that you are a newbie and a little nervous and would like to have some light, non explicit condo before taking the plunge. Or maybe you can take advantage of providers who offer meetings in public settings in order to get more acquainted.

I hope this was helpful.

My upbringing was heavy into moralistic having a mother who was religious and a grandmother that was overly-religious. But I guess I took after my father's type B personality. I figured if I'm not infringing on anyone's rights as a human being I'd be fine. It's only after the my father's sudden death did the brevity of life sunk as did the notion of "carpe diem" or "everything is permitted". And given my experiences and observations I would usually regret not taking an opportunity when it came.

But on a different level so to speak .
I did not really have a problem " pulling the trigger ". The ladies here on TER CHOSE to do this ! The reasons are not important to me , it is the " choice " that is !  They have bills , they have difficulties , we all do . Hell , maybe the are just sex craved like us guys and this is a killer job for them
My struggles ........I have ALWAYS been a gentleman. Treat a lady with respect . This I am not ashamed of , or will I probably change . I think a good upbring and societies norms play a role in this for sure . When I read some of the reviews I WISH I could be as forward as the other guys - I simply don't have it in me and maybe never will . I still have a great time , but REALLY want to have a uninhibited hour of free for all,  balls to the wall SEX !
It does hinder me in the fact that I simply can't speak up as to what I want , and what turns me on . Not kinky stuff just normal being vocal , teasing and whatnot .
Hell , I am so shy I won't even discuss a clothing request even when asked .
Just a reply to let you know you are not alone and do what makes YOU feel comfortable .

I'm new to this as well and the way you feel is perfectly normal. In fact, I'd wonder if you were mentally
healthy if you didn't have some moral dilemma!  The first provider I met with was fairly new to the business when we met.  She agreed to meet in a public place to get comfortable and I'm so glad I went about it this way. Our first real meeting was fantastic in every way.  She understood my hesitation but she simplified our timeby saying we were simply engaging in normal sexual pleasure and that we have chosen to make it a business arrangement.  No harm done as long as the boundaries were set.
Now I have great sex on a regular basis with a woman who "gets" me which allows me to open up a bit more with each visit.  I did decide that I won't write reviews for anyonee and the provider I'm seeing now (the only one!) prefers this anyways.  Key word here "only" one.  No desperate or immature ladies that will be calling and texting me or just making things uncomfortable in any way.  Dealing with ONE GOOD lady with a steady head on her shoulders will prevent problems down the road.
Take your time and find someone that you feel you can click with and I'm sure it will work out very nicely for you. Also, don't get wrapped up in the drama that can take place on boards etc.  Pretty much keep to yourself and enjoy your time with whatever ladies you choose to spend time with.

You need to start with a highly rated, highly reviewed provider. I suggest that you don't try ladies that have performance ratings lower than 8. Check out the lady's website if she has one, favor the ladies that write and spell well. What you will find is that you end up meeting women that lead regular lives, but for whatever their reason, provide.

By having encounters with highly rated providers that have reviews and who appear to be educated and independent, you avoid women that are working against their will or working to support habits. Until you know what you are doing, avoid escort malls and meet providers via this site or sites like P411, Roomservice or Datecheck. Staying away from escort malls can keep you out of jail and/or away from the rougher elements of this business.