Things happen. We like some people, and we don't like others. Understood.
So how does a hobbyist know if some provider has put him on her "no-see" list or "blacklist" so that he doesn't approach her by accident?

either refused 3 date requests or failed to return 3 attempts to contact her, you are probably on one of those lists.

Speaking realistically, you will never know unless you piss her off enough so that she tells you.  If that happens, you will probably appear on her friends DNS lists too.  Better not to go that far and move on after a couple of failed attempts.

Shouldn't hobbyists have a no-see list too?
Time for suggestion and policy change board!

There are many hobbyists who have lists, in fact they are more list oriented than any people i know. I should know, I have been struck off many a "to do list"...lol.  And I had no idea I was even on one...and even funnier, I have probably seen those who have publicly struck me off their list...it's great to be anonymous.

Hobbyists have a no-see list.  It gets filled with the ladies who have bad reviews here.  Like ROB's or Bait & Switch or Upsellers.......    I check the lady I'm interested in against the list.  If she's on it, I don't see her.  I call it doing my research.  Most all of the VIP members here use it.  We call it the "REVIEWS".  It even has some pretty good search functions.  You can even contribute to it.

If you invest in VIP, you can have access to this list too.  You can even back channel with other members.


-- Modified on 7/18/2012 8:12:12 PM

if you are asking about approaching or contacting a provider for the first time, you shouldn't be on her personal DNS list because she knows nothing about you.

If you've pissed off other provider's there's a good chance you are on the shit list and might have trouble getting someone to meet you if you've been labeled a time waster or whatever and its been circulated among the ladies.

If you think you might be on a black list, google your name, your phone and your email address, if you're on a list, one of those will bring it up.

Is there some back story here? If not - you should approach her if you are interested.

When I started, I felt a little shy, wrongfully. It was as if I was revisiting some anxiety I had about calling a girl who attracted me in high school, some fear of rejection. Eventually I realized that whether she replied or not was almost always unrelated to me. It was not that I had used the wrong words, was not her type or had done something wrong. Usually she was busy, not working, or just forgot to reply.

You may wonder how I found this out. It worked like this. I sent a lady an email, and got not reply. Then a week or two later, I sent her a second email saying that I was sorry if I was bugging her but I had sent this previous email and I was curious if I had done something wrong since I had not heard back, or maybe she lost my email or was not around? It would be great if she would be kind enough to let me know either way, but whether she replied to me or not I would not bother her again, thanks in advance.

Most of the time I got back a reply saying she was not available, but watch for her next time, or something.

I have also had correspondences with ladies who replied very quickly and then disappeared. So after a while I would send an email saying since I had not heard back I would be making other plans, hope everything was okay...

If I still liked her and wanted to see her, I might try again the next time I was looking to make a date. And as often as not, we would end up hooking up.

The few times I rubbed a provider the wrong way, there was nothing subtle about it. She blasted me.

So here are my thoughts.

- If you are attracted contact her
- If you do not hear back, it probably has nothing to do with you so long as you are being respectful.
- It is okay to follow up after a reasonable time, say a week. But if you follow up twice and still do not hear anything, give up. The odds are you are not going to see her, and it would be best if you do not see her.
- If you are not sure whether a provider has a problem with you, she does not have a problem with you. Providers learn quickly to be assertive in managing assholes, or anyone they consider an asshole.

zig

this is good advice. makes too much sense. thanks

I had a situation in NYC where I bumped into a provider I knew in civvie life.  It was incredibly uncomfortable for her, but not a big deal for me.  We went through with session, but she was freaked out and didn't wanna see me after that.  Fine.

Problem is, like many bodyrub providers, she went from place to place and changed her name.  Since her body type is 100% my type (brunette, toned, busty), I ended up bumping into her after booking with her at other places, not knowing it was her (these places have phone girls answering/booking).  Imagine being jazzed to see a new girl, showing up, and then finding out that this was a waste of both of your time.

So I told her, "Look, I don't wanna bump into you anymore, to respect your wishes.  So either tell me where you are working and under what name, or this is gonna continue happening."

That worked.