Hi, first post. I'm a 22yr old guy and I'm a virgin (haven't even had a kiss). I'm thinking of just going for a girl on here to get sex off my mind for awhile and also give me a little confidence with other girls.. So I guess my question is should I lose my virginity to a provider or wait? And should I tell her I'm a virgin?

What's your hurry? Why not wait a few years and maybe you'll find the lady you want to spend the rest of your life with.

This is a very personal question.

To my mind, it really doesn't matter all that much.

I was a virgin until I got out of college at age 22.  I popped my oral cherry with a provider, and then had my first intercourse with a girl friend, so you might say I hedged my bets.

But now, looking back 35 years on it, it really didn't matter.  I got married, had two kids, divorced and hobbied on and off  (more on than off) all through it.

What ever you decide to do will work if you know what you are doing and take responsibility for it.

Best of luck to you and stick around because it gets interesting sometimes.

Your not the only one who has ever asked this question S4F. You can get some insight on this question by looking at previous discussions on this topic on THE Erotic Highway. You'll not only be able to see the responses from other hobbyists there, but also some very wise and sage advice from the Love Goddess herself..

To travel the Highway look left, click on the link to The Erotic Highway. Once you get there, click on the Search Messages box near the top of the page. In the Search for box type in Virgin and use 600 (or even longer)for the day range.

And then you can keep yourself busy reading all the posts over there.

As mrfisher said, no one can decide FOR you, you ultimately have to make the choice.

C_K

My advice to virgins is simple -- GET FUCKED !

WTF are ya waiting for???  

If you are 22, and still jerkin the gherkin, it's time to get a provider !   Make sure she is well reviewed friend.

Happy Hobbying!

In my opinion, and it is only an opinion, I would not choose a provider for my first sexual experience. But if I did, I would definitely tell her I was a virgin.

There is nothing to be embarrassed about and in most cases you can kind of think of a provider as a healthcare worker. I'm not widely experienced, but in my experience providers have a capacity for compassion and empathy, plus have their own sort of "code of ethics" that in most respects will assure you will be treated well.

But here is why I would not choose a provider for a first sexual experience.

Human sexuality outside of "pay for play" is a very complex thing. Researchers are only now just beginning to scratch the surface. Learning to deal with the whole package -- the dating, the first kiss, the uncertainties, arguments and (of course) getting dumped are all incredibly important. This is the REAL WORLD, and anything that holds you back from that can hurt your full-faceted development as a man and suitable mate.

There are other complexities related to sex as well -- including a very potent mix of bonding and trust generating chemicals that can essentially overcome nearly all reason and cause almost instant infatuation. For the first time, this is almost definitely better invested in dealing with a woman who has chosen you as a sex partner because she genuinely admires you, respects you and actually cares about you fairly deeply and at a personal level.

Real women in the real world choose mates using a very complex process that we are only now beginning to understand partially. That process involves a mix of homogamous and hypergamous impulses, selection based upon detection of your immune system via pheromones (the first kiss is important) and much more.

A provider most often "chooses" you because you aren't a law enforcement officer, you aren't on a "do not see" list for misbehavior, and you put a certain amount of cash in a white envelope. (I have no idea why it must be white.)

Dealing with a provider can give an extremely erroneous impression of what is attractive to the types of women to whom you want to be attractive.

Providers provide a FANTASY.

And that fantasy, at best, will divert you from buckling down and doing the hard work in the school of hard knocks of learning how to deal with women in the real world. This will delay your development.

Once you have some real relationships with real women under your belt, though; I think providers can be extremely valuable in teaching you how to be a better lover or for providing a human connection during times when career and other concerns leave you no time for relationships.

That's my opinion,

If you watch these boards carefully, every couple of weeks you'll see a posting from a guy who has fallen in love with a provider.

These posts are from men who have already had serious relationships. They have good jobs, usually a wife at home and kids who depend on them. In other words, these are widely experienced and ordinarily very stable men with every reason in the world not to fall for a provider. Yet it happens.

The fantasy experience that a man gets from an exceptional provider can be extremely powerful -- so powerful that widely experienced and stable men with every reason in the world NOT to fall for a provider still do.

What do you think the effect might be on YOU?

Think about it.

IMO, every man should visit a provider at some point in his life; but when he's a virgin is NOT the time.

Thanks for nothing!!! lol

Re: My advice to virgins is simple -- GET FUCKED !

Dayum right.... Like Fuzzy said. GET FUCKED....

Go to Eharmony.com and take the chance of finding your lifelong soul mate.  Save the hobbying for if you need it.

Its not possible to get "sex off your mind."  Once you start you can't stop.

You are 22, bust your cherry with someone you will want to remember for the rest of your life.    You always remember the first, your 324th encounter probably not.

Better yet, save it until your wedding night with the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, then the sex is a bonus to the relationship instead of the reason for the relationship.

Ramblings from a middle aged guy.