a woman could have it and not know it. Unless they have an outbreak which is usually how it is passed. A man can pass it to a woman through DATY if he has any outbreaks in his mouth. A cold sore looks exactly like a Herpes sore so how do you know if its an STD or not. I don't think its worth the risk myself.

For your own well being if you need that reassurance, I would make sure I looked at her closely before doing anything. Not weird but can be done in the foreplay stage where you can decide if anything looks odd down there before you do anything.

There will always be risks. Many of us get checked on a regular basis so we know our health.