OK, I am ready for the next tier with 8+ reviews but I keep hitting to this reference wall. I know P411 and some others are there but I don't want to share my business information or even my real name. I simply have a lot to lose if my name turns up in a LE investigation.

For example: This escort (or handler) sent me an email asking for verification. She asked either a list of agencies that I have used in the past (this I don't have) or an email from my work account (possible but extremely risky for me). I know safety first, but risking my job doesn't make sense.

Am I stuck with backpage? Should I keep contacting well reviewed providers until one of them accepts me without giving out personal information?

Any suggestions?

It may take some doing without giving up your real name but I believe it can be done.  Be sure to link to a hobby phone & hobby email.  I am very certain that a Fav provider submitted my hobby phone & hobby email to Date Check.

you've seen at least one or two providers who are on Date-Check or P411 and can vouch for you. With that, you can get verified without giving up any critical personal info. In the unlikely event none are members, try using them as references to see others who are members and can then vouch for you.

I have only seen 3 providers to date. I meant providers who are rated 8+ on TER reviews. Sorry for the confusion.

-- Modified on 6/22/2011 8:00:48 PM

You can call them and work it  out.  I did.  Plus, P411 is located in Canada, so your info is safe with them.

The same basic advice applies. If they have good reviews here, chances are at least one could serve as a reference to see Date-Check or P411 providers who could vouch for you.

I will start this by saying NEVER EVER give out information that you are not comfortable with.  I had a really bad experience doing that once, and only once.

With that said, you are going to have a tough time not giving out your real name.  For the provider's safety they most likely won't see you.  With 3 ladies that you have already seen ask them if they would provide you a reference.  They usually do.  

BTW - as most guys do, I have a separate e-mail, etc. for all of my hobbying activities.  I do not give out work info either.  I work for a national organization that EVERYONE has heard of.

BP is always a crap shoot and LE trolls there too.

Just my thoughts.

I completely agree that BP was crapshoot. I had only one good experience (out of three) by now and I realize that I was lucky to evade LE. I got my prepaid hobby phone two weeks ago and I have been using a hobby email since the first day.

I contacted two of my providers today and one sounded willing to help. The other said OK but I felt an unwillingness in her voice.

After being a VIP here on TER, I made a TDL based on the reviews. Unfortunately those well reviewed ladies in my TDL belong to agencies that request more than an independent phone number.

Anyways, I guess I'm learning.

I usually will accept an outcall if we have met for incall as a first meeting. I will admit that I don't do too much screening if its an incall but most definitly require it for an outcall meeting.

You seem to be confusing the two.  Let me help out a little....

Definition of DISCREET
1)  having or showing discernment or good judgment in conduct and especially in speech : prudent; especially : capable of preserving prudent silence
2) unpretentious, modest : the warmth and discreet elegance of a civilized home — Joseph Wechsberg
3) unobtrusive, unnoticeable : followed at a discreet distance

Definition of ANONYMOUS
1) without any name acknowledged, as that of author, contributor, or the like: an anonymous letter to the editor; an anonymous donation.
2) of unknown name; whose name is withheld: an anonymous author.
3) lacking individuality, unique character, or distinction: an endless row of drab, anonymous houses.

Based on your desire to not give out your name or employment info, an anonymous encounter is what you are seeking.... not a discreet one.  That being the case, you should seek out whomever is willing to meet with random strangers, in a private place, with complete disregard for her personal safety or your potential desire to entrap her or otherwise harm her.  

Good luck and god bless... you'll likely need it!  

Yes, I agree with Edrienne Cole.

For potential clients that do not want to give me their real full name or other necessary information.
This is my response to that::
"If you do not feel comfortable providing me with your real full name, then I do not feel comfortable seeing you."

I guarentee you all reputable providers screen and they will not see you without the necessary information.

If you stick with backpage and ladies that do not screen:: you will face LE, you will encounter cash & dash, fake pictures and unhappy times.

It is how it is......

He's decided that it wouldn't be discreet for him to disclose his full identity to someone he knows so little about. Sort of like providers decide about their own identities. If he's patient, he will be able to find plenty of outstanding escorts who will gladly accept Date-Check, P411 and provider references.

EOM

-- Modified on 6/24/2011 11:31:37 AM

We have to be safe and most well-reviewed ladies need some kind of info for this to happen a hobby email either one is not enough info IMO.I have had many gents provide info no problems because they have done their research and they know the lady who screens is going to require info and handle it with care.

Whatever you think "should" happen is really of little consequence.  The rest of us live in Realityville, not ShouldLand.   You can choose to stick to ladies who accommodate your line of thinking and run all the risks that have been detailed ad nauseum.... Or you can put your big boy underpants on and face the reality that if you want to see a better class of lady, you need to get over yourself and become a better class of client.  And since the better class of lady actually cares about her safety (in as much as she can reasonably protect herself), she'll want more than a handful of lies from you.

You can choose to do whatever you want.  You can choose to see ladies who fit your desire for anonymity. By making the choice to be anonymous, you eliminate your basis for complaint about not being able to see ladies who choose discretion.  If your own choices limit who is willing to see you to BP/streetwalkers.... you've forfeited your right to complain about it.  Hey, YOU CHOSE it!  You can also 'unchoose' it and start enjoying a much wider array of companionship anytime you want.

Like I said earlier, good luck and god bless....  you'll likely need it!

Both sides will lose some opportunities because of the impasse over discretion. Like I said before, all the scolding insults and scare tactics notwithstanding, you can still build up enough references that you'll have more high quality choices than you can ever have time for.

Apparently I got the wrong impression for this board. I am not here to be lectured by a provider. Your suggestions are not constructive, useless, and I will not listen to them.

Not only does your attitude suck, you have zero idea of what it's like on this side of the hobby. We get plenty of great, upscale clients who give us screening info - all of it. Blackmail? That is such a low possibility that it's almost a non-entity. In my 9 years of doing this I have never heard of it other than a client trying to blackmail an escort, not the other way around.

If you don't want to be screened, fine. There are a lot of women who will see you without it. But why the vitriol for those who want it and those who will submit to it?

Chill, this is supposed to be fun.

Why not get more information about hobbyists that you can use to blackmail in the future? IMO work email is not enough. Ask for an entire spectrum of IRS information. While you are at it, I also suggest getting a criminal record and a driving license copy. This will put an additional layer of safety.

Do you know the result of this game? You will only get hobbyists who has nothing to lose (when their private information is revealed) and I am sure you will be very "safe"

Nah, it's not fun to be lectured. Let's talk next time if they decide to open a dictionary for one of your posts just because of their subjective opinion.

And of course I will stay anonymous I am trying to find a solution and get suggestions here... At least I got a couple useful suggestions. Two, three or ten thousand providers cannot change what I want.

Your reply lashing out was not only childish but highly inaccurate.

I can see why you don't want escorts to know who you are. If you are this easily provoked on a message board God only knows how bad you'd be in a room alone with them.

My dear nothing-to-lose friend, this conversation is not providing anything useful to me. Plus, you have no idea how bad or good I am in real life. So please stop speculating my temper based on my responses to a board... or not, whatever.

Why not do this? You keep on giving out your private information to providers. I keep mine private.

END OF THIS THREAD FOR ME