Just got home from an out of town trip....

Last night I was 'no showed' by an otherwise highly rated, well reviewed provider. This has not happened to me before since I am still new.

She was very responsive to P411 messages and getting things set up, but no reply to my inquiry last night after she was late.

Is there anything I should do, make a comment about it, or just let it go?

I get things happen, but I also think others would want to know in case it became a trend.

Advice appreciated...

Hobbyists are split on this one. Some seem to want to make a big deal over NCNS, others say just move on! I've been NCNS'd plenty over  the years, I'm at the stage now where I just move on. Others will chime in and tell you to out her.  

The problem with the TER review system is, since you didn't meet her you can't write a review.  The only thing you can do is post it on the regional board what happened. And that can open up a another can of worms.  

 

 
 

Thanks for the advice.

I have not had trouble when out of town before, so I hope it isn't something I did, but we don't know what we don't know, right?  I'm smart enough to know I don't know it all, and capable of rookie mistakes I'm not even aware of yet.

Hoping that isn't it

It doesn't matter if your a newbie or veteran, your eventually going to have a NCNS happen to you, and in fact I think I had 5 in the last year alone.  So I just tend to move on and never consider seeing her in the future. Once you have enough reviews you could always bring her up on the reviewers only board, and thats about the only recourse you have.

Thanks...

I'm going to let it go.  I'm bummed...was looking forward to it all day, and it was too late to find someone on short notice, especially since my flight was so early this morning.

Oh well...

The reason providers keep treating some of you like shit, is because you let them! I am not saying he needs to OUT her, but he should report this to Gina. If all she has is his P411 and not his real info. nothing she can do. Wait a few days to see if she gets back to you with an explanation, and then make Gina aware of it. She does not care for providers on her site who make a habit of doing this, and likes to know about it. We are told to report this from both sides.

I've had this happen as have many others...  I can't afford to waste an opportunity.  If a gal wastes my opportunity, I really doubt that I would risk it again.  
I understand emergencies happen...  has happened to me (weather shut down travel & left me stuck on the side of the road, I called & cancelled...  rescheduled a couple of days later & had a great time).  
I had a Fav provider who did not pick up on the confirmation call (because of the distances, I'd call her when I start the travel)  So I didn't go.  Found out later, she left suddenly due to the death of her sister.  There's more to it but that's too much to share.  

On a NCNS or a missed connection...   I'd call & leave 1 message.  If they have a good reason, they'll get back to you.  If they don't they are flakey...   or don't take the business seriously.  As Robert E Lee said to J.E.B. Stuart (movie Gettysburg) "I have no time for that!"

It happens on both sides of the fence.  I agree with the others, the best thing to do is move on.  There are plenty of providers out there so one fuck-up should just be ignored, IMHO.  Just about everyone in this lifestyle has had it happen one time or another, and put her on your DNS/Ignore, etc. list.

Like said, outing her wherever could open a can of worms that you don't want to mess with, not worth the hassle.

Swim

try to contact her to see what happened. If you don't get a satisfactory reply, then you will need to make the choice of letting others know or dropping it.

'No shows' are not cool thing done by either party.

At the very least... the "offending" party should email the other person letting them know what happened to cause the 'no show'. It's not necessary to explain in deep detail what happened. Something like "I had a family emergency pop up and was unable to contact you due to lack of discretion being with family at the time." That's it. Simple.

It shows professional courtesy. If you had time to 'no show' someone, then you have time to write a brief email apologizing for the 'no show'.

PM with other members on whatever local board applies. Over time you will build a little network of people who can give you input about who is good, who is reliable, etc.

Not that I take PM info on NCNS too seriously. There is a highly rated provider in Chicago who has a reputation for going NCNS, but most of the reports are via PMs. She works a lot and I am pretty sure the reports are valid. As the OP said, shit happens. Some of it may have been that something came up, and at other times I think she got a better offer - either way, there have been times when she left guys hanging.

But I saw her twice and both times everything went as smooth as silk. And I am hardly alone - she works a lot.

On the other hand, I had a comical NCNS experience with a now-disappeared provider who stood me up about 6 times, each time apologizing profusely, giving me a new story and promising to make it up to me. And I took her seriously the first two times. After that I just kept doing it for amusement, and then when it got boring I suggested we take a different approach, one where she had to prove she was serious and then the communication ended.

PMs about her revealed lots and lots of similar experiences, and while she seemed to have her share of admirers on the local board, and a couple of reviews, as far as I can tell she flaked out a lot more often than she showed up.

The message on each was fairly clear if you read them carefully - provider 1, there was some risk she would NCNS, but it was likely she would deliver; provider 2 is flaky as hell and you should just avoid her.

So there is a way and a value to you and the board to communicate the provider's NCNS, but do not exaggerate it, just state the facts. And I assume you gave her a chance to explain what happened (hint)? Not that I would try to see her again - the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, or fool me once... As with my provider 2, the more dangerous lady is the one with the ready excuse and easy apology, because she has lots of experience in that situation.

zig