There's nothing more annoying than someone who is new who asks for a discount. If you give in , you make it easier for them to ask others the same and if you tell them no because they have to "scrape coin"...doesn't that make you feel like you're taking from the poor? Where are the guys going to come back with questions like this? Newbees stop begging !

Angela



-- Modified on 10/26/2012 5:02:05 PM

not at all sure why you'd feel this way, but I'm appreciative of the fact that you are empathetic enough to do so...

as one of our posters has pointed out on numerous occasions, p4p is a luxury, not a necessity.. if you don't have the discretionary income to play, get out of the sanbox.. if you have to ask how much, you probably can't afford it...

I never ask for a discount, I only frequent providers that I feel offer value.. if I don't get value, I don't repeat..

I guess you don't believe in lost leader marketing.

Then there is the drug trade.  I mean the drugs alcohol and nicotine aka tobacco.  They first market a  cheap product then slowly raise it.  Anybody remember, a good $.15 cigar. heck my keyboard doesn't have a cent sign.  Now a good one is $100+  

OK, more to the point, he's knew, this is a lot of money he has to get use to spending.  He's probably worried it won't work.  So he want's what's natural to him, he want's to take the car out for a test drive.

Don't you just hate the object comparison.

I'm being sarcastic.   Nobody can put a price on you but you.  If you want  him to know that, it has to be from the start.

If it is contact by email delete.If it is by phone asking that question hang-up on to the next!
I do not even go there with someone asking me for discounts because his money is low.
I had a guy who is a ter member with reviews mentioned being interested in a dinner date but his funds were low.I advised him to let me know when he had his financial situation taken care of.
The only reason I even responded is because we had been talking via pm here in the past.
But,generally I do not even respond to those questions because someone's financial situation falls under the category of personal problem not my problem.The hobby is just that a hobby not a necessity if a gent does not have money to hobby he needs to save up or wait.Don't ask a provider for discounts when there are providers at a wide range of price points so there is really no need to ask that type of question.
Just my .02

-- Modified on 10/26/2012 4:05:06 PM

Loss leader marketing is what you are referring to, a vendor takes a loss by pricing a product under cost to get a customer hooked and then raises it, or uses a loss leader to lure a customer in and then uses bait and switch tactics to upsell...oh yeah, that reminds me of backpage marketing...opps, another story....In the hobby if you want to test drive you pay first and first timers should always pay full price, more risk and uncertainty for the provider, imho.

-- Modified on 10/26/2012 6:21:14 PM

reminds me of the college graduate who buys a porsche even though he knows he cant afford it..newbies are newbies..until they learn the ropes ..they all want to cut deals...and they actually wonder why providers avoid them..

But newbies should not do this.  I have gotten first-time discounts, but usually it is because I have been referred or because I expressed things in a certain manner.  

But it IS bad form to start haggling already.

....i've had fair share of "seasoned" hobbyists trying to haggle too.

Publicly state that "it's disrespectful" and all that other bullshit!

Hey...it's a business.  And like any business the consumer can always see if there is room to "haggle".  But then you hookers will babble that you need a 3 hour session "to get to know the john".  It's so asinine that you hookers can't keep these stories straight.  LOL

Follow London's analysis of this game.  It's much more real how most gals play it...of course behind the scenes that it.

But you've got enough johns that are sissy boys and also agree that it's "disrespectful"...at least they claim that on the boards.  But behind the scenes...it's all about the deals and discounts  LOL

So thanks for your advice on "not asking for a discount"...but I'll stick to what works for me.  And considering how long I've been here and elsewhere...I have yet to find the hooker who isn't willing to play "Let's Make A Deal"  LOL

Honestly...it's not like your selling anything that millions of others don't have.  And guess what...it's a renewable source of product.  But in the OP's case...time has run it's course  LOL

I suspect he has figured that the gal that he is haggling with is open to this type of negotiation.  And many gals in todays environment are definitely open to discussion on rates.

And if he was interested in someone like the OP who's reviews are middle of the pack and a much older gal...I gotta believe he figured it was worth a shot.  And if she wasn't "busy" she would, in all probability, entertain the offer.

I just had a three hour session with a gal today at a "terrific" rate...granted I was committing to three hours and I'm far from a newbie.  But I have NO issues in asking any gal if she would consider this or that.  She has the right to say "Go fuck yourself"...or "Sure Big Guy".  

This bullshit of not asking for a deal is for the mangina crowd.  Asking some hooker to take 300 an hour vs 350 is just asinine to suggest that this is "an intrusion".  Nothing is set in stone...and everything in life is negotiable.

Except for death...that's rather permanent!

Not the same old rhetoric of the guys/gals with their nonsensical babble.

I've chatted with many a newb over the years and strongly suggested how to go about this game.

And it doesn't take long (for those with IQ's over 47) to get how to play in this arena  

But I'll bet there are those that walk into the car dealership and just pay the sticker price.  Nope...those newbs usually have dear old Dad to walk them through the process  LOL

I ignored him . Too much time on his hands . It's just a rant and an opening he saw where he can
pop up and make stupid comments.

I agree with you . I do offer discounts  .

Look at you talking about   reviews with only 2 under your belt. This topic was for the providers
not the rude and judgemental.

Most people who sell goods and services resent the hell out of people who try to haggle.  You just happen to be on a board where the merchants in question get to post their opinion...

Honestly, when was the last time you tried to haggle with your Dentist, Doctor, Lawyer or mechanic?

He might a bunch of reviews under an alias, for example.

He does have a point, and while some providers will find it insulting to be proposed a lower rate, the truth is that many are giving discounts.  You aren't one of them, and that's great.  I hope you continue to get enough business to make you happy, and I sincerely mean that.

On the other hand, many other providers ARE giving discounts, for various reasons.  Some are using them as loss-leaders, and giving them a discount to get them "hooked" (no pun intended), much as a drug dealer gives you a little bit of product to get a buyer to come back again and again.  Other providers make it a sort of "frequent flyer" club and extend discounts to clients who continue to book with her again and again.

Since you are asking the providers, I'll stop, because my voice here is irrelevant on this topic.

Generally, I agree their prices are fixed, but I have had no problems getting my mechanic to do a bunch of services for a lower overall rate than having them all done a la carte.  So that's not a great example in my mind.

Similar arrangements can be made with lawyers for package deals...not sure about dentists, as I only go once a year, if that.  Doctors...I've never tried it.

But I do see your point.  And in general, the way that providers work is that they offer a flat, non-negotiable rate.  However, in this economy, the way business is done has changed, and there are enough providers being more competitive with rates that clients can have a bit of a choice.  Of course, the fact that discounts are being offered also suggests that clients have limited funds, so their choices are also, in fact, limited.

Yes, that would be nice..I'm sure all of us that strive for quality would all be happy if it was like that, unfortunately I don't think we could get everyone to agree.

Well with that kind of charm, I see why you don't understand the value or quality aspect of it.  With all the negative things going on with the economy, I can see why you're so grumpy, but nothing good comes out of those types of comments and negative energy.  Would it kill you to look at it from another perspective?

Wow, I guess you provide in a place where there are a lot of suckers if business is good for you. You not willing to discount or give somebody a break here or there (if the asking price is close) speaks volumes. You act as if you're the only one who provides,. I would be rather glad if you did what you said to me, as I could spend the money you charge on another well reviewed provider. Just my 2 cents

That's one of the primary jobs of insurance companies.

Ask your doctor, or better yet a hospital for a discount if your willing to pay cash and they will jump all over it. Way less paper work for them to deal with.

It's your business....you deserve the right to chose who you do business with.  I work in the service industry and some customers are not worth the effort.  

Seems like the easiest thing to do would be to politely decline their request.  

A smart person once told me that you can't complain unless you are willing to do something about it.  You hold all the cards.  Play them if it's really important to you.

You posted under your real TER handle, which is admirable, but realize that in being upfront about your distaste for this, you may have very well thrown yourself under the bus, because now certain hobbyists may look at you as a whiner.

In my eyes, you are not, and I like open discussion, but many are not this way at all.

Just a thought.  Maybe next time, use an alias.

You don't know what you are talking about.The OP asked for thoughts on newbies asking for discounts during initial contact.I never said in my post I have never offered incentives that is not what I said at all.
What I said was I would not entertain a conversation with someone I have never met before asking me for discounts.If I offer one that is a totally different story.
Many providers state their rates are set not negotiable so if you know that coming in why haggle with a provider that is out of your range when there are so many other providers that are?
I am done with this topic guys can keeping asking for discounts from providers and those guys are the same ones on the board complaining about not getting a response.


-- Modified on 10/27/2012 4:38:39 AM

This is not a cheap hobby but few are.  If they can't afford it maybe they should take up stamp collecting.   We always tell hobbiests NEVER HOBBY with the rent money, grocery money, car payment!  
They may be girls who will offer services for lesser fees (probably lesser services or lesser time)...   Shopping a Cadilac lot when you can only afford a beater doesn't make sense.  
Each lady makes her own business model, depending on her market, her needs, her availability.  If the lady is wrong, the market quickly tells her as her business will drop off.  If her model is working for HER, then that's all that matters.  

Depending on my needs of the moment, I might be able to splurge with a Fav Gal...  or I might need to wait a while while I save up.

if the haggling by hobbyists, and the negative reactions that providers always seem to have to it, can be attributed to broader gender differences.

GENERALLY SPEAKING - Men are more comfortable haggling than women, no matter what they're buying.  My dad will haggle with a salesman over just about anything and think nothing of it.  I am incredibly uncomfortable doing so.  I believe this is a common difference between the genders.  (There are, of course, always exceptions.)

I've been wondering if the same issue is at play in the gender pay gap - ie, if the gender pay gap can be attributed to female job applicants being less aggressive in negotiating starting pay, and then that trend continues with pay raises, causing the gap to increase over time.  I hate haggling over my salary in the 'real world,' so it would stand to reason that I would hate to do it as a provider.  

Having said all that, I am more annoyed when newbies - or anyone who has not already met me - tries to haggle.  See me a couple times, and if we click, I tend to be pretty generous with my time.  But at least get to know me, and let me get to know you, before you ask.

-- Modified on 10/27/2012 11:06:13 AM

I have notice male employees tend to be more comfortable in asking for bonus/raise than female employees. I hardly see any female employee come to ask me for bonus/raise without been invited for the discussion. It makes no difference to me whether one asks or not. I can always say no when I feel it's not justified. It's just business (part of my job) to me.

It makes them so much easier to put on my "don't even entertain an email" list.

The only times I have asked for any kind of discount has been by wanting more time, not less $ ( 90 minute deal instead of regular hour rate) or by asking the lady if we can meet for a drink before (15 min). I have found that the ladies I have seen regularly become quite generous with their  time. My first ATF,  years ago stayed just over an hour the first time and a little longer the next two times. For our fourth meeting, I requested two hours and she said, "you want me to stay longer, just ask.....you don't have to pay more." After that, I paid for an hour and she stayed varying amounts of time. I was always pleased and she seemed to be as well. I remember one time that she apologized for having a commitment and only being able to stay for just under an hour...and the next time she asked me, about an hour into our date, if I would like her to stay over for the night? I said yes and she went down to her car for her overnight bag. ....and cooked me breakfast in the morning. The only sad thing about this is that the lady who has Not pleased, I never see again, so she gets full asking price.....but the fabulous lady that I see over and over discounts her $$$....I guess that's what you get as a regular.

And from your OP this apparently should have been posted on the PO board (that was your original post till you changed it to read what you have now..assuming you don't change it again  LOL)!!

So you posted this on the GD board obviously looking for attention.  Then it got moved here.

Suck it up toots!!  You don't like to negotiate...but you do...and often LOL

And as crazyshit pointed out...my reviews that are with TER are not reflected with my total years and experiences in this game.  As my handle indicates...I've beenaround  LOL

shoot me a PM and I'll show you how to buy shit.

Most people who sell goods and services are quite accustomed to playing "Let's Make A Deal".  Whether they like it is another issue...and one I, as the consumer, don't really care about.

And you bet I play that with my Dentist, Doctor, Lawyers (especially lawyers LOL) and any other trade or service that I need.

And the funny part...many have become good friends.  Bizarre...don't you think LOL

Jeez Louise...get with the program  LOL

Plenty of clients don't pay my listed rates - they're the clients who've known me for years or see me with so much frequency that its justified.

If someone asks for a discount off the top that makes me think one thing:

They can't afford the luxury of playing once so they likely will not return meaning that's just one more new client I will have to regenerate versus adding to my list of very comfortable, safe regulars.

When a newbie asks me for a discount I delete their email and I don't give a shit.  They'll get a taker for sure.  Its just not going to be me.

I call ladies that I want to see....if I only have $300, I don't call a new girl who asks $350.I call someone that I can afford. I have met a few women in this hobby who deserve to be called "hookers" or worse, but I try to avoid them. I call ladies that I hope will be quality providers. I have met some wonderful people. At the risk of being called a "sissy boy" I want to calmly suggest that you refrain from calling these ladies "hookers".......it's really rude and unnecessary.

I've had a really unexciting date with a lady for 400/hr and I've had fabulous dates with great ladies for 200/hr. What the lady charges is part of a business/marketing plan. If you have more calls than you wish, charge more. If you want more calls perhaps you charge less. Whatever the reason. Too often those bargaining just want to win.........two identical used cars or for sale...one for 9000 and one for 8000....they won't buy from the first guy because he won't lower his price to 8500 and won't buy from the second guy because (even though he's asking less than the they are willing to pay) He won't  lower his price to 7500. You know what their asking and what you are willing to pay. My Father once warned me about a guy who would spend a hundred dollars to screw you out of ten.

Here...Hear.....agree And approve

Yep...you're one of the guys I was alluding to

After you've been around (pun intended) a bit longer...you'll understand that calling the ladies

Hooker
Whore
Prostitute
Courtesan
Provider

Or any other title is the same thing.  It's just a word, and how it's interpreted is what's more important here.  All of the hookers I've seen have been good to excellent "providers".  But they are still all prostitutes.  

Heck..get to know some a little better and many like to be call "bitch whore"...but usually BCD  

PS..many will take your 300 offer.  Man up sometime and give it a whirl!!

Re: Yep...you're one of the guys I was alluding to

I know you've been around, but luckily not around me....and for their sakes, I hope not around the lovely ladies that I've met. Not crazy about the word "john" as used on this site.

Posted By: beenaround2553

After you've been around (pun intended) a bit longer...you'll understand that calling the ladies

Hooker
Whore
Prostitute
Courtesan
Provider

Or any other title is the same thing.  It's just a word, and how it's interpreted is what's more important here.  All of the hookers I've seen have been good to excellent "providers".  But they are still all prostitutes.  

Heck..get to know some a little better and many like to be call "bitch whore"...but usually BCD  

PS..many will take your 300 offer.  Man up sometime and give it a whirl!!

Posted By: will645

I call ladies that I want to see....if I only have $300, I don't call a new girl who asks $350.I call someone that I can afford. I have met a few women in this hobby who deserve to be called "hookers" or worse, but I try to avoid them. I call ladies that I hope will be quality providers. I have met some wonderful people. At the risk of being called a "sissy boy" I want to calmly suggest that you refrain from calling these ladies "hookers".......it's really rude and unnecessary.

Sure..to your face you're Will  LOL

But on the boards you're a "gent".

And at lunch the gals know you as:

John
Trick
Asswipe
Cheapskate
That guy (again)

It's a fun game we play here.  Lighten up there pal...as you had suggested to crazyshit  

Trust me...call them and they'll see you.  Just don't short them on whatever agreed fee you have  LOL

Posted By: will645

I know you've been around, but luckily not around me....and for their sakes, I hope not around the lovely ladies that I've met. Not crazy about the word "john" as used on this site.

Posted By: beenaround2553

After you've been around (pun intended) a bit longer...you'll understand that calling the ladies

Hooker
Whore
Prostitute
Courtesan
Provider

Or any other title is the same thing.  It's just a word, and how it's interpreted is what's more important here.  All of the hookers I've seen have been good to excellent "providers".  But they are still all prostitutes.  

Heck..get to know some a little better and many like to be call "bitch whore"...but usually BCD  

PS..many will take your 300 offer.  Man up sometime and give it a whirl!!

Posted By: will645

I call ladies that I want to see....if I only have $300, I don't call a new girl who asks $350.I call someone that I can afford. I have met a few women in this hobby who deserve to be called "hookers" or worse, but I try to avoid them. I call ladies that I hope will be quality providers. I have met some wonderful people. At the risk of being called a "sissy boy" I want to calmly suggest that you refrain from calling these ladies "hookers".......it's really rude and unnecessary.

if you state no discounts on your site and he asks for one, he should be disqualified from seeing you.

it's not the mindset of a consumer trying to get a deal, it's of a ego/personality issue.

I would never give one to someone on a first meeting. Generally, my discounts aren't given in the form of money. My rates are set in stone, but if you have been good to me I have no qualms giving an extra hour here and there. I believe the term is gentlemen's discount. Be a gentleman, and see how far it gets you.

Do you really want to "negotiate" a root canal or prostate surgery?

You're right on that if you book 90 minutes at least with me, I automatically quote you a discount.
Especially with good references.