I'm not really clear on this I guess. When I try to participate in a discussion, my comment is not approved, even though it was relevant to the discussion and as far I can tell doesn't violate any of the terms. Doesnt make me feel very welcome when I'm paying for a membership and I can't participate. :/

Normally procedure for newbs on TER. If you've been posting a fair amount, contact the mod of that board and ask to be unmoderated.

your local board mod to get unmoderated.  All of us had to go through this process at least once.

it sounds like you are, then you'll need to wait until your post goes through. If you write it at odd hours (like at night for the MODS' parts of the world - we're talking Chicago and DC and the like), your post won't likely go through until sometime the next day. I post from the West Coast at about 8, 9 or 10pm and (before I was granted unmoderation) it was often hours before my posts went up!

Don't give up yet!

You have had exactly ONE post denied.  It wasn't posted here so I can't say what the problem was, but it happens.  Even some of mine don't make it.  Don't give up so quickly.  As the others have said, you're moderated and as such your posts need to be approved before appearing.

by the time the post is approved.  That was my complaint, when I was a newbie a few short years ago.  But you need to post, have the posts be reviewed & approved over say a month or so.  
If a post is not approved look it over.  You can politely ask the moderator if you really can not see why it wasn't approved.   Once you have a track record, you can request to be unmoderated...  ussually make the request to the moderator of the board you post on most often.   Many boards have different moderators & some like the Newbie Board have different expectations.  
If you screw up, expect your post to be taken down & you be moderated again.  
skb

I started out moderated.  Then I got unmoderated.  Then I annoyed some people and got moderated again.  Whatever.  It's just an internet message board.  You're not going to put 'Frequent unmoderated contributor to The Erotic Review message boards' on your resume, right?  So don't sweat it.

Or if you want to put some positive spin on things until you're unmoderated...

Just think of the moderators as friendly paternal types offering to take a look at the things you write and give you a chance to reconsider before others see how stupid you are.

Quite sweet of them, really.

Or maybe in my case the moderators were such fans of mine that they secretly just wanted to know right away whenever I posted.  Moderating me was a sure way for them to get notice of every one of my brilliant contributions.  Like free tickets to a sneak peak pre-premiere movie showing.

I agree with some of the posters on this thread.  I am fully aware of the mod versus un-mod status on the boards.  But you become a VIP member through either paying  or being one of those who post tons of reviews (god bless em)

Some of us pay because we are choose to be discreet or we haven't fully jumped into the hobby yet.  TER takes our money, fine.  It is a great resource. But I think paid members are entitled to a little street credit.

If you are paying to belong that is a significant commitment to the community and life support for the board.  Mods should not be practicing prior restraint on paying members.  Now if you are a paying member and you make a number of glaring board errors, warnings are due and they can then start moderating or even suspend you.

But if you pay to play, I think you are entitled to a little consideration......

There's a slight issue with implementing it however.  I have no idea who gets VIP through reviews versus paying, or for that matter, who has VIP.  Additionally, there are some pretty annoying people that claim to pay for VIP that not many people would want let loose.  Still, I've got your idea filed away just in case I ever find myself playing king of the mountain with my own website, lol.

maybe TER can charge extra, like a DVD...