Just wondering as a general rule if most
providers will only provide services to
members of their own race? For me as a
hobbyist, it is not an issue for me as I enjoy
the company of all ethnicities whether they
are the same as me or not. How do you think
most providers feel about this?
I doubt any providers will answer your question as it would be tantamount to admitting to being a racist. Any who would answer would probably use an alias in which case, we can't really verify that it's a genuine provider. A catch-22 really.
Besides, only servicing one's racial group means reduced income. Racists would not do too well in this industry.
As a hobbyist, I have not met a provider yet who has screened me or turned me down due to race (I'm not white). I have also never met one who I feel has shortchanged me due to race. I have however met one who wanted to provide me with limited services because she said she wasn't feeling well that day. She's Eastern European and works for an agency so she doesn't do the screening. I left before anything was exchanged and made no accusations. She was probably telling the truth, but that's part of being non-white in the US - you always have to wonder.
There is a provider who used to be quite active on the discussion boards here - I can't recall her name and haven't seen her post anything in several months at least - who stated on her website that she did not see black men. As far as I know, I have never seen any other provider who bluntly indicated a racial preference.
I think as a general rule most providers are not really concerned about that. But there are a few, and I would not worry about it. My take on that is just like those who will not see someone in a certain age group, hell we even have a provider in our area who advertizes on her website she will not see anyone with over a 36" waistline, if the lady does not really want to see you for any reason - her loss, just move on, there are plenty others. Even if she did agree to see you it would certainly be a less than stellar experience anyway.
You'll see it on websites, and there's one black poster on the DC Board who has reported incidents where he can tell the lady is looking out the peephole at him, and then calls his cellphone to cancel the appointment. It does seem *rare* to me, but I'm not the one it's happening to, so I can't really give a definite answer.
Kansas City (I think). It was a black lady who openly specified she would only see white or asian men.
Ya never know.
...on another board, where one white provider was upset by the notion that black guys would get shot down by white providers, so she offered a special discount for any black guys that booked during a certain time period. She later claimed to have gotten some excellent responses.
Probably more unusual in that she indicated Asian men as a preference. As much prejudice as there is against many non-whites in our society, Asian men are usually considered the least sexually desirable. It's fucked up, but that's the stereotype.
At the same time, kudos to the Asian men who are enlightened enough to find Black women sexually desirable.
There is one down here who states she only sees white men, but she is not white.
Then I saw an ad where the women stated she would not see Middle Eastern men.
I guess some are blatant about their views.
dating some one of another race sexually exciting in and of itself?
When younger I definately did, and I sought out black, latin and Asian women.
I still feel this way to a certain extent, but I also find that the novelty passes quickly and the question comes down to whether they are a good and skillful provider or not.
Just curious to see who else felt this way.
I used to have a thing for Latinas, but I outgrew it and have come to the same conclusions you have.
I prefer Asian, South American or Latina women. This doesn't mean they get a free ride just because of their heritage but, over the last five or six years, I have sought-out more exotic ladies and been very happy with my choices.
I have always thought Asian men are sexy! Whoever doesn't is missing out on some really great guys!
-- Modified on 4/25/2007 5:51:41 PM
I grew up in a situation where I was constantly bombarded with a lot of racist messages and beliefs, and it had some effect on me even today. I have major trouble responding sexually to a woman with medium or darker skin (yes, even some Latinas and deeply tanned Caucasians), or to anyone with any of the stereotypical "black" attributes (pronounced lips, broad nose, dreadlocks or Afro). I had a deeply embarrassing moment with a good friend when we got to fooling around, and I found that I couldn't even get hard, no matter what she tried. I hadn't been drinking or using any drugs; I just was messed up in my head.
I try not to be an asshole about it -- I don't criticize anyone for their decisions about who to see, and I try not to let my own issues change my impressions of people I hear about. For example, I've been happy to say, "I've heard really good things about Provider So-and-so" when asked for a local recommendation, even though she's African-American, and I'll probably never see her. The fact that *I* have issues doesn't say anything about the level of performance that a given lady provides, and I will happily concede that other people's opinions are more valid than mine in those cases.
Yes, I'm a little defensive about it, and a lot embarrassed. Still, I thought it would be useful to provide a data point.
Glad you're upfront about it - it shows a degree of honesty, self-reflection and concern most people lack.
Many people I know deny that they have any racist thoughts, which is absurd if you live in this country. Of course we are all affected by racism to some degree. Denial only allows it to grow. Far too many people refuse to reflect on their own racial issues in the way that you have, preferring avoidance instead. After all, if one isn't wearing a white sheet and burning crosses, everything's fine right?
It is rare, and as noted by many, that would be posted on their sites in most cases. As a client, if I knew of a provider who did pick and choose by race, I would avoid her... simply my choice but it would be a flag to me that she is narrow minded.
I have on a few occassions been told by providers during our talks that they will only see white gentleman. They tell me its their personal preference. These ladies, however, are the exception, rather than the rule. I have seen a few African American ladies and have never been rejected by one up front because I was white. Most providers care about professionalism and attitude before they ever care about race
presuming she can provide the service i require, it all depends on what i feel like on any given day
*shrug*