I have a one strike policy with escorts, this aint baseball, no 3 strikes and your out. Strike One and I usually move on. Yes, I will circle back at a later date, but I'm a busy guy, so that's my policy.   BTW, this isn't so bad what you describe, wait until you experience a NCNS, and trust me all veteran hobbyists have had one, even with well reviewed providers.  

Here's the deal, NEVER take anything concerning the hobby personal.  Just move on down the road and find another provider. Here's another, pointer, most hobbyists have a waiting rule. Mine is 30 minutes, that's it, then I leave, Stick with it, eventually you'll figure it out. Oh one final thing, remember escorts are like most women, they run late, they forget things from time to time, they worry how they look etc, but boy they can usually suck the chrome off a bumper, and fuck like there's no tomorrow.  Good luck

OK, I'll admit that I can be a bit of a drama king, but if I feel a certain way, I feel a certain way, and that's the way it is. Am I making a mountain out of a molehill?  Probably, but I feel how I feel and that's just the way it is. I welcome all kinds of feedback, but please refrain from insults, as I feel like shit already and I don't want to feel any worse.

OK, I was supposed to see a provider last weekend, but the day before, the provider had an illness in the family and she couldn't see me that weekend. I was disappointed, but I obviously understood.  Family comes first.  Well, we reschedule for today, and early yesterday morning, I sent her an email to reconfirm.  She didn’t respond to me, and she usually responds right away.  Earlier last night, I sent her another email to see if she got my earlier one and she responds simply by saying, “yes.” I then send her another email asking if we are still on for today, to which I got no response.  

Look, I know that this is a business , and I know that providers are not our girlfriends.  That being said, I was REALLY looking forward to tomorrow, and being blown off like this hurts like hell.  Providers, what justification is there for treating a potential client this way?    You know, one of the reasons I have started this hobby, (and I have just started. I'm a newbie), is so I would not have to deal with being snubbed the way I have been in the civie world dating game, which is full of this kind of thing. I wasn't expecting this to happen in the provider world.  The fact of the matter is that it hurts to be snubbed by anyone, no matter who it is, even if it's my dog, a good friend, a sales clerk.

This REALLY hurts and it might be enough to make me quit hobbying altogether, which is sad, because I just got started.

I’d really appreciate any insights into this matter from experienced hobbyists and providers. If you think I’m in the wrong, feel free to say so. Just please do it without insults or smart-ass remarks, because I’m already feeling like shit.  I’m pretty devastated and depressed about this. I REALLY was looking forward to this, because this particular provider really has several characteristics that I find VERY hot.

Anyway, if anyone has any words of wisdom and insight to share, I’d really appreciate it, because I don’t feel so good right now.

Am I being too demanding? Is it too much to ask for someone to just send me a short email confirming whether we are still able to meet?  I know we all live busy lives, but I’m not asking her to write a thesis for a Ph.D. Just a one-sentence email would have done the job.  Am I in the wrong for wanting this?  

Thanks in advance.

the provider detected the same focused 'intensity' as revealed in your soliloquy and she found it potentially problematic.

  Or maybe she is just a flakey cunt.

to want to confirm an appointment especially being that you already had to reschedule.
Sounds kind of strange that you had a date set and she never responded back to your initial email but responded to if your email was received and then nothing.Maybe she is still dealing with family issues either way if a reschedule of an appointment was indeed set then at least a confirmation or cancellation email should be required.
I understand having to reschedule due to a family illness but if a date is made there should be a confirmation so no one is having their time wasted.Some providers are great on correspondence and some not so great.
Your appointment is for today but you do not mention what time perhaps you might still hear from her.

I say this as nicely as possible if a provider is not getting back to you to confirm an appointment is enough to make you reconsider hobbying maybe hobbying is not for you.
Many providers as well as gents have experienced what you stated you reach out to confirm an appointment and no response.Sure it is a pain but certainly not devastating if you are not getting response you might want to consider other options.You are not in the wrong to expect some type of response whether it is was to confirm your appointment or to let you know you need to make other plans.

Providers get busy, and most of them don't want to be exchanging endless sappy emails with hobbyists. If she was short with you that could be a hint.
Providers that are busy could get dozens of emails a day, and they may not have time to cyber romance with the clingy needy ones.

Keep your emotions at home and under control. If you are hurt by a short email, then you are not in control of yourself.
A lot worse things can happen in the hobby and you don't sound like you are properly conditioned.

"Closure', You're "in limbo"? Your OCD is showing. Drop it; like you would a hot rock.

 If you were approaching this as a sport, or a "Hobby" you would not be attaching so much chivalry to a woman who has done nothing more than too waste your time.

I gave you opposing theorems for your introspection. don’t bother me with insipid PC semantics.  

John, I appreciate what you are saying, but I wasn't exchanging "endless sappy emails."  There was no romance involved.  I sent her an email last monday, and then I sent her an email on Friday asking if we were still on. That is it. I understand the possibility exists that I might have done something to rub her the wrong way, but to just not get a response at all to confirm we are still on? That's frustrating.

I appreciate the kind and well thought out post.

-- Modified on 3/17/2012 8:14:01 AM

You just vindicated why so many of us, at so many times have a "Plan B" at ready.

Do you wanna get laid? Or do you wanna obsess over a communications breakdown?

The time to go into WTF mode is soon before the appointment. It could be an hour before the appointment, but it could depend on incall  vs outcall, accounting for travel time, etc.
We don't know if she is a local provider to you or a touring provider.

I will set my appointments in advance, but not usually more then a couple of days in advance unless she is a visiting provider and I am prebooking.

That said, there are a lot of flaky providers out there and a lot of lame excuses. Just make sure if she does not confirm with you in a reasonable time today, chalk her up as another flake and move on to the next provider.

Yeah, most likely, I'll probably have to move on to another provider.  That's part of the business, I guess.  It was jut that this provider, at least from her pictures, had pretty much EVERYTHING I want in a woman. I just don't get turned on by anything. I'm VERY particular about what I want, and to have this most likely fall through is disappointing.  It is a let down, but it's something I just need to move on from.  This is a business, and I need to treat it as such. That is reality.

The lady had cancelled due to an illness in the family - she probably didn't elaborate about what that illness was - it could have been anything as simple as her kid has a bad cold to her father had a stroke and is in the hospital.

Give the lady the benefit of the doubt if she's well reviewed and non of the other reviewers have had any issues with her before.  Figure that maybe the "illness" was something serious and she is still trying to deal with it and just isn't in the mood to entertain you or anyone else.

See another lady or two, and in a month or so, try contacting the one you wanted orginally and talk to her about setting up another session then.

Sounds like you have taken her ambivalence way too personally.  Trust me...this has NOTHING to do with you.  She had a better offer...a regular called her...she needed to go shopping...Oprah was on!!

A veteran hobbyist wouldn't waste another second on this gal.  Who cares what her "excuses" are...I know I certainly wouldn't.  But I can only assume that you have had this crap happen to you with the civvies you tried dating, and have already heard the litany of "excuses" and were caught off-guard when this gal threw one at you.  I NEVER want to hear the excuses...it's just a total fabrication of reality.  I don't care why she can't meet me...I simply move on and don't need to hear her bull shit..and that's all it is!

No problem...plenty of gals out there ready to take your money.  Move on right now..forget about this gal (and there are plenty of them out there who are as goofy as this one)..and make another appointment with a WELL REVIEWED gal that appeals to you.

You're not the first fella that this happened to (not by a long shot) and won't be the last (not by a long shot either).  Good luck with the next one...seriously

You're few short simple e-mails was the way to do it. She may be dealing with the family still. But since she took the time to answer your e-mail with a yes, it wouldn't have taken much to add to it "we are still on" or "No, I have to change it."

Some people are just flakes, provider or not. If she doesn't get back to you and make the appointment then forget it and find another. There are plenty to see. Even if you are particular. Keep looking and remember it's a hobby, it's supposed to be fun. Control what you can and don't sweat what you can't. She looses out on the pay. You get to choose someone else and enjoy.

Dwell on how great it will be when you finally get to experience the session.

You state that this provider had everything you were looking for, at least from her pictures. So, I have to wonder, did she have reviews? If not, scheduling an appointment on just pictures and nothing else is a bad move.

We were all Newbies once.  It's not wise to settle on one provider exclusively.  Some do & we on TER probably don't hear much from them because they don't need a review site.  However, to go exclusive with a provider, remember this is Pay for Play not Match dot Com.  Very often the provider begins to take the client for granted, service suffers.  They the client gets annoyed & moves on.
Some cients prefer a new Gal every time...  nothing wrong if that floats your boat but I find better experiencves on subsequent meetings.  
Yet another scenerio is a handful of Favorite providers who are rotated.  If one is unavailable, there's a change another would be.   New gals are tried if they seem to have attibutes to makethem Favorite material.  

I'm not saying to dump this one but call some one else.   If you are still interested afte a few others you may circle back & see if it works out.   Some ladies have a fast response / phone business model.  Others are more long cycle planned encounters.  With my travel distances, I have to choose from the longer cycle.

Yes, it is hurtful to get the run around.  You have a right to be put off.  SHE should have confirmed or cancelled with your first reminder.  I don't know how much time had elapsed, remember she isd not necessarly sitting waiting for your message.  LESSON:  This happened to me recently & I should have had a confirm/call time.   The reply she did send...   SHE knew why you messaged her and still didn't give the information We're on/ We're off.   You should not have had to message back.   It's Saturday.  She could still have a sick family member...  she should have just said so.

One of my long time Favs did not confirm a previously scheduled meeting.  I gave her a call.  She had forgotten, was out of town (glad I did not drive there) with a family emergency.  I found out when I did get together...  she was on her way to her sister's funeral.  Sister was undergoing treatment for breast cancer, was seemingly doing well on chemo when she just dropped.  Married with children.  Fav was totally devistated.   I really felt like a Jerk for being annoyed with the disruption.  

Seek out ladies who can schedule & communicate well...  you won't be sorry.
HV

PS This is the Newbie Board...  while the other boards can be a bit abrupt, a kinder gentler approach is expected on the Newbie board.

the boys are right..when you are a newbie you take everything personally ..i did..i felt rejected hurt..an affront to my manhood..then over time you develop that age old attitude  FUCK IT..and move on..you never feel rejected..if you are horny enough you can probably get a good provider the same night and even save some money..there are tons of providers looking for business..excuses are like shit..its all over the place..20 minutes for me..they cant call me..i am history..every business is set up the same way..if you cant deliver the goods i go somewhere else..i dont want a rain check..i dont get pissed off..remember it is their loss not yours..

well, dont feel like the lone ranger cuz its happened to me, too...more than once...hell, i was waitin in the hotel room. for crissake, one time, when it got later and later and finally i got a txt msg saying TS, in so many words...so i was out the room charge and got nuthin!...u gotta realize, and you sound like you do, that we are not dealing with the, um, "highest tier of society" with providers...just how it is. but anybody can run into scheduling issues... these 'blown visits', as i call em, happen now and then...my first time kicked my ass a little cuz i was thinkin, "shit...thats REJECTION...to be stood up by someone that you are gonna pay to see you,"...anyway i recovered and you will too...but you are right, it sux. i have a plan 'B' now...i have a few prime girls selected and if my date dont show up, i call em...have only had to use it once but it ended well..........my 2 cents

there are those in this business that don't "take care of business". Yes, there are providers that wouldn't give a second thought to leaving you high and dry. There are also those that Are (capital to lend emphasis) in the, "um, 'highest tier of society'" that would do the same. It's far too general and unfair to say you're not dealing with the "highest tier of society" with providers to explain this occurrence. Be careful with that broad brush you have there.

Cancellations NCNS, Lack of responses to emails and other things like that happen to all of us, but it's not right to categorize providers with a broad statement like that. Providers and hobbyists come from "every tier of society," and some very well are in the "highest tier."

That would love to give you the "Pampering" and "Attention" you sound like you need. Don't sweat it.