I am writing this for those who either do not know the difference between these three, or simply do not recognize that these can be very different to providers.

Why? Because recently I've had a couple of No-Shows and Non-Confirms who didn't see that there's any difference between those two and actually making contact to cancel.  These gentlemen are both newbies, so I figure this is a good place for such info.  

CANCELLATION:  You schedule a date with a provider, then later contact her to cancel.  Some ladies have specific info on their websites regarding how cancellations are to be handled.  She might expect a cancellation fee no matter when you cancel, a sliding fee depending on when you cancel, or a fee only within a certain time frame.   Some ladies have no cancellation fee.  
Make yourself aware of such policies prior to scheduling.  

Cancelling on the same day, even if you have a really good reason and you do so many hours before your appointed time, will often be considered a last-minute cancellation.  Again, every lady is different and there are those who expect at least a full day's notice or more  for all cancellations.

Be aware that even if you do follow through on a date after cancelling on a provider, she might pass that tidbit on to any other ladies who contact her for a reference in the future.  

I highly recommend contacting her via as many routes as possible to let her know you're cancelling.  
If all you have for her is a phone number and she says "No Text", then call her to cancel.  If she doesn't answer, leave a voicemail.  
If she only accepts text messages, then don't call her!  Text her to cancel.
She gave you a phone number but stated that it's only to be used to confirm & get her location info?  

Well, now that one's a judgement call but here's my opinion:  if you are cancelling on the same day as your scheduled date, then email her (assuming this is her primary contact method) and if she doesn't respond within a few minutes, call her.    

All you have is her email?  Email her then.  And ask that she respond so you know she received your cancellation.  

 
NON-CONFIRMATION: You and the provider have set a date and time.  She has asked that you then contact her to confirm.  You are not going to keep that appointment (for whatever reason) so you simply don't confirm with her.  Hey, she'll figure it out that you're not going to show up, right?  
This happens to providers all the time, doesn't it??

Wrong.   Here's what really happens most often: I request that Client contact me to confirm and he never does or fails to do so by the time I specified.  Then within an hour of our scheduled time he finally texts to say "on my way.  location plz".   But as I didn't hear from him and he didn't respond to my messages, I'm either not at my incall waiting for him, or I went ahead and scheduled someone else for that time-frame.  

That happens (to me) far more frequently than those who do not confirm as a (passive) way of cancelling.  
Please, if you cannot make it, always contact the provider to tell her this... in other words, to actually cancel the date.  
If life got crazy, you forgot to cancel and she politely contacts you to ask if you're still on: please respond to tell her it's off.  It might help if you can ask to reschedule, if she's willing.  

 

NO-SHOW/NO-CALL (often referred to as NCNS or NSNC): This means that you have set a date with the lady, she gave you her location information/directions and then..... you simply didn't show up.  Nor did you call to cancel.  Thus, no-show/no-call.  

It cannot be stressed enough that this situation should be avoided, if at all possible.  

She might contact you to inquire as to your whereabouts when it's past your appointment time and she may even do so repeatedly; there also might be total radio-silence from her; or she could go completely off-the-wall, call the men in white coats, BAT SHIT CRAZY on you!  
Board stalking, black-listing, spamming, invasions into your work/personal life..... while not condoned (especially by me!) are reactions/retaliations that HAVE happened.

Yes, the crazies among provider ranks can and have done those things when receiving a cancellation notice, a failure to follow up on a appt. request, and/or seemingly no reason whatsoever.  A crazy person doesn't really need a reason to.... well... go crazy.  

If you are completely unable to contact her to cancel (which she will likely not believe) prior to your date, please contact her afterwards to explain the situation and apologize.*  Offering or conceding to a cancellation/no-show fee is a decision which is entirely up to you.  I personally feel that offering this is the right thing to do, but others' opinions will differ.    Please bear in mind that no matter how legitimate your reasons for not showing up were, she may very well not believe you, despite any evidence you produce.  
She could still take any of the aforementioned actions; even if you pay her full fee and successfully keep a future date with her, she might have already reported you as a NC/NS or will do so to any ladies who contact her for a reference afterwards.  

 
*Unless, of course, she has already flooded your email/voicemail box with unhinged/threatening sounding messages, blasted your info across message boards, or has in any other way chosen to fly her BSC-flag for you (and all the world) to see.  

 

 

The vast majority of those reading this have never done these things, and never intend to do them.  This information is for those who do not know the distinctions between, and the different possible perceptions of, each separate action or non-action.  

 

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

I couldn't agree more.  I would only add that the same should apply to providers.  I had one do that (NCNS) after I had rescheduled because she told me as I was almost to where she told me to go to call for exact location.  We rescheduled for the following week, and when I got to where she directed me, called her, and got no response after 2 calls and a text.

I posted it on this site, did not out her handle, but told guys to PM me for her site handle.  You providers could do the same, both on your local regional board and the PO board.  I also posted it on the Newbie board.  By not naming anyone in public forum, hopefully a shitstorm can be avoided.

LLAP,
Swim

Providers are far from innocent of these transgressions!  I'm sorry that happened to you and you handled it exactly the right way.

Even I have had unavoidable emergencies or have just plain screwed up, resulting in last-minute cancellations.  
I own up to it, apologize, and offer them a discount if they're willing to take a chance on me again.  
And totally understand if they're not.  

 
As to my latest dunderhead would-be clients: they are RS2K so I just reported the incidents to them.  Easy-peasy!

I actually had to explain to one of them that a No-Show is not merely a cancellation; to my way of thinking, it is much worse.  I'll never get back my wasted time, although fortunately I didn't lose any money over it.

This is far from the first time that a client hasn't understood why I "make such a big deal" about confirming our scheduled date.  So hopefully my words will help some newbies to get it, and take the correct course of action.

 

xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

practicing common courtesy, which unfortunately to some people (such as you recently encountered) isn't too "common".....:

gas expense.  It never hurts to confirm a date, you just never know when something unavoidable comes up.  Of course, a screwup by self is always a possibility, but they do happen.  Fessing up and offering a discount is always a good step in making it right for the client.

What does RS2K do when you report NCNS incidents of one of their members?  I do agree with you, a no-show is much worse than cancelling with notice.  At least with notice you have the opportunity to fill the time with someone else, you can't do that with a simple no-show.

LLAP,
Swim

They will attach it to the client's profile information; then, every time a provider submits his details for verification after that, the notes will read:

 
Regarding the verification of:

 
J. Smith
  From Anytown
  (***) ***-0000

 
Membership information is correct.
He has been a member since 01/2000.

Although his info is correct, we have this additional information for your knowledge:
(We prefer you don't share this information with the member)

NS/NC / AFTER GETTING DIRECTIONS AND CONFIRMING  1/01/2013

 

And that's all.  It won't tell me WHO he no-showed with.  As it states, we're definitely NOT supposed to share such notes with the client.
Sometimes the notes are positive stuff, but never anything personal.  

 
xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Not naming names might avoid a shitstorm, but it hardly does the community any good either. I maintain that if you are going to make a post about NCNS, name names or don't waste the bandwidth.

I would say the same thing goes for the ladies, if a guy pulls a NCNS "out the sorry POS" to your sister providers.  Actions need to have consequences if were are ever going to make the slightest dent into bad behavior. "PM me for details" is going to let a VERY small handful of guys/girls get the message and will have next to no impact on the guy/girl pulling the NCNS.

THAT is what some ladies are brave enough to do, and I truly do applaud them for it!!

 
Personally, I've been hassled/stalked for doing far less to a client and am thus afraid of my own shadow in many many ways.

 

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

You can put it out on the PO board where only the ladies can see it. The ladies are really the only ones who need to know about flaky cliens, just like the guys are the only ones with any stake in learning what ladies are likely to pull this kind of crap on them.

BTW, I don't think I mentioned it, but very good OP. Nice and even handed IMO. Kudos.

I'd just prefer to avoid any public demonstration.  In my situation, I had probably 20-30 PM's asking for her handle/stage name, which I gladly provided.  The provider who did it to me rarely, if ever, comes on this site, but she does have quite a number of reviews.  I don't think I've ever seen her post anything here.  But, you never know.  I just felt that the ones who wanted to know who she was would ask.

LLAP,
Swim

Realistically speaking... How many girls actually expect the guy to pay a "cancelation fee".

I make notes about people who don't show or don't bother canceling or cancel more than one consecutive time... I build my "reject" list and share it with anyone who I know. But it's best not to publiciize numbers or names. One has to be discrete no matter what.

There is no transgression short of physical assault that warrants "outing" someones IRL info.

To be honest, I don't know how many actually "expect" the client to follow-through on this.  

I think it's more to deter the tire-kickers from wasting their time.  Not sure if it works, but perhaps it does.  

It might be more like, if you are going to visit with me after cancelling on me, then you're going to pay the fee.  
But some providers do state that it must be sent to them upon cancellation.  If it's working for them, awesome!  

I see higher percentages of ladies who state that they have cancellation fees in the $500/hr-and-up group, but that's just in my area (Chicago).  

Again, I'm sure there are some providers who, if the gentleman does not pony-up the fee, will go completely nutso on him.  

 

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

who was trying to drum up support to sue a client who cancelled with something like two weeks to go before their scheduled appointment.  

and yes, I would say "good luck" to any hooker trying to find many guys actually clueless enough to send them a cancellation fee if they have to bail

Now in the interest of fairness, I don't think it is unfair to ask for lets say an extra hundred bucks or so "aggravation fee" to a guy who has stood you up before. I also think a hooker that has to cancel on a guy should offer him something "extra" to make it up to him, either more time or a discount would be fair, and I think both the ladies and the gentlemen would agree a little more time would be better for both parties rather than a discount. This way both parties come out happy. The guy feels "taken care of" and the lady still gets her full donation.

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