So it was my first time, hobbying and in general first time, and I feel like sharing/venting/asking advice.

Its somewhat funny that after recently watching a movie (500 days of summer), there is a scene where the screen is divided in two.  On one side, it says 'Expectation', and on the other it says 'Reality'.  It shows him going to a party to meet up with a girl.  The two start similar but quickly diverge into two very different scenarios. One really good, the other not so much.  I sort of feel like this happened to me.
My expectations of what was to happen and the reality of what actually happened were very two different things.  Although, when are they ever the same?  I just didn't expect it to be so very, very different.  

While I had a good time, I came out of this quite disappointed in myself.  Not because of what I did, but rather what I didn't do.  I was VERY nervous which led to my being timid. I wasn't aggressive, at all. Perhaps I was hoping to have her lead the way and be more aggressive?  She was very nice and sweet but she was also fairly timid herself.  I really don't blame her for this at all.  She did admit that she didn't know what I wanted and that happens frequently.  I also admitted at not being aggressive or vocal of what I wanted.

When I got through with the talking (this took awhile since I was still nervous and all, plus there was a somewhat language barrier), shower, and massage, there wasn't much time left.  I finished very quickly (not by choice, but it was first time and all) and with next to no time left, I was done.  I wanted to try different positions and definitely some DATY.  But no more time.

I'm not really sure what I'm asking or expecting by posting this.  Its partially a venting of how I feel along with trying to get some hopeful advice that I probably already know.
Things like:
"First times are always like that"
"You will get more comfortable with time"
"Be more vocal to her about what you want"
"Things will get better in time"
"Get an even more experienced provider next time"

But telling myself these things, while they are valid and have merit, for some reason still doesn't comfort me and I still feel disappointed in myself and somewhat discouraged.  

What do you all think?
Any input or advice is greatly appreciated.

I still consider myself a newbie, but had that same thoughts/feelings you had after my first experience, although mine was over in 10 minutes...even after all the research I did.  Oh well, live and learn.

I have found that each experience is different and I have learned something new from each one that helps me for the next one.

Always best to do you research and have some expectations, and I would say that my first experience was way off from my expecations, and they have gotten closer and closer to meeting my expecations as time goes on.

Can't wait to read the review!

Areg

Practices makes perfect, just remember -- the point is it's for YOUR enjoyment. Sure, treat her like a lady but it's for your pleasure.

Have a little more confidence and do what you'd like to do.

This doesn't help the OP, sorry, but for those considering doing the same thing, might I suggest doing a few sessions with no FS? I know, it gets pricy, but chances are you'll be back anyway.

What this does is give you the opportunity to feel comfortable around a gorgeous, naked woman. Once you are now longer nervous in this situation, you can then decide to go to the next step, if you so desire.

This has the added benefit of allowing you to sample several different providers and experiences to see what you like (fast and hard? slow and sensual?).

When and if you are ready to take the plunge (so to speak) you will go armed with some confidence. In fact, I suggest going sans FS until you find the girl you click with.

-tessen

The first one is over, use it as a learning experience for next time. Maybe next time try looking for someone a little more agressive, reading reviews and websites will help you with this.
Don't stress over what you didn't do, just look forward to what you'll do next time!

I totally can see myself thinking that considering ive see the movie 500 days of Summer! such a great movie!
though i havent taking my first YET. thinking about it once i fly out to chicago in three weeks.

What i can say is. YOU NOT ALONE? these unknown feelings.
BESIDES YOU' AIN'T GETTING PAID> MAN! dont worry about your performance. just go again!

Anyways maybe you should give her another shot. Going off the fact that you said, you were both timid? maybe you guys can work together again since you are both shy. it could benefit both of you since you are already familiar with her. And maybe this time around go for a longer session.

ANYWAYS this is a total NEWB talking on past relationships. so yeah. Thats all i can say.

-phan

I dont think it so much has to do with how experienced the provider is. Most providers should do their best to make you feel comfortable with them regardless. As far has not being aggressive enough...my advice is emailing before hand about what you like,dont like,and what your expectations are. And yes everyones alittle nervous their first time, especially with someone new. Both client and provider.

I agree 110% with this.

Try, try again. In my experience it gets better every time. Book a longer appointment with an experienced GFE provider for your next visit. You don't want to feel rushed the first couple of times.

Be careful about emailing info on what you would like. Many providers will ditch you in a flash at the first mention of specific acts. You can certainly be generic, such as saying "I Like cuddling" or "I'd like you to be passive/aggressive."

Not all providers are experienced enough, or good enough, to be able to put most any guy at ease. For those that are, God bless em, for they have a unique ability.

Be patient with yourself... have fun... be honest with her (i.e. "I'm nervous"), which almost always helps to alleviate the feeling a bit... avoid too many expectations or worrying about some fancy position from the latest porno movie you saw...

Finally, use that nervous energy... say something outrageous like (once you're all naked and getting acquainted), "I want you to screw my brains out!"

Be nice to her, but tell her firmly or lead her ...

If you want DATY, just go down on her.
If you wanna Mish, just go on top ... it's just natural.

If you want to doggie .. just say "Let's shift to doggy babe over the edge of the bed"

If you want her to cowgirl you - just say "Ride me babe".

Or say "lets go 69 .. wanna lick your pussy while you suck on me".

You'll get use to it.

It may take a while to establish chemistry with a lady, or to pick up on the points in a review, website, or ad that allow you to predict whether you will have chemistry.

You stated some points yourself: you need a more aggressive lady that will take the lead, you had a language barrier, you felt rushed. From reading reviews, you should be able to help at least with the first two points. The last point is up to you - book more time, shower beforehand, etc. so to allow you to enjoy yourself more fully.

It may take time to find someone you really 'click' with. In Nevada, I've had great chemistry with newbies and lousy chemistry with ladies that others simply raved about. You have to learn what your type is, and be able to pick out the hints from reviews. In the end, ATF is a term near and dear - once you find a good thing, why not stick around?

I love newbies. For a while I felt like a go-to for them but as most say practice makes perfect. Nothing to be afraid of, you won't get bit unless you ask for it, yeah you're paying but as others have said you're paying for your pleasure just remember that. Be more assertive and like another member said you'll get used to it.

I found it best to book a longer apointment...  1.5 to 2 hours.  As I have gained experience, I'm able to shorten the time somewhat but still 1 hour is minimum.
skb

First, thanks for all the replies.

I knew going in with this provider that a shower and massage were sort of part of the deal/routine.  I rather enjoyed the shower, and it didn't seem to take that long.  Although I did take a long and thorough shower before I left home.  The massage was nice but it felt as though it took about 40 minutes (I did book 1.5 hours)
Then when it came time for the action I didn't last long but I suppose that's to be expected for a first time. (I'm sure "saving up", which I was told by someone to do somewhere, certainly didn't help and seems to me that it would be counter-intuitive?)

I was thinking that I just need say that "I'm inexperienced/new/nervous and I need you to be aggressive/assertive in an attempt to draw that same behavior out of me"

I was trying to find some "aggressive" providers in my area that were also well reviewed/experienced that I could repeat with a few times but it's difficult to glean that from the reviews.  I've read/been informed of a couple that are with some agencies but for whatever reason I see that more as a goal once I am more "experienced" (ie, last longer and more aggressive/assertive).  I'm not entirely certain why I have this notion in my head... perhaps the fancy website or the wide selection? heh, I don't know.

Perhaps find an local independent that I'm into that I can repeat with that wont break the bank in the process, creating a rapport and comfort and therefore leading to more confidence or will this be a crutch and make me only be this way towards this particular one?

Am I over-thinking again?

The 'saving up' (not monetarily) part actually works for me, so it really depends on each individual guy.

With regard to your last paragraph, establishing a rapport is always nice. It may be a crutch in a way but again, it all depends on the individual (ie: you). I ALWAYS have a better time with repeats. So, it could just be a natural thing for you as well. Some guys are 'good to go' regardless of lady. Still, most say that more of a personal connection lets you get more out of the experience. So, for some that personal connection matters more than for others. You'll only find out what works by trying again and again.