While browsing the web the other day I came across a blog written by a long time provider (her BF pimped her out to his friends when she was 19). She's been in and out of the biz but seems very unhappy and bitter and is especially anti "hobbyist". But she has been blogging for years and seems to have an active readership of other providers. She recently blogged about "6 red-flags in email". Most were obvious: Meet for coffee first?, do you do xyz?, Can I get a picture of your face, etc. But another one was "Here is a picture of me". I took this to be an inappropriate/explicit photo, but the responses to the post were along the lines of "We're not running a dating service, we don't care what you look like". Obviously if providers only saw guys who they were attracted to, most of us would never get dates. But do you ladies really not want any info about clients ahead of time? Our age, height, weight or a pointer to a tasteful publicly posted picture (Facebook for instance)? Or is it easier if you meet us as complete strangers?

i think she was talking about to much info to soon. Though some ladies request photos (mostly to see if the person showing up matches the ID, matching the face) many do not.

Telling someone "I'm XX tall, 45, average build and of Hispanic decent is great to know in a first email along with whatever info shes requested on her website for screening.

getting flooded with pictures of prospective clients of them with their families, co-workers- on boats, with cars, with hot chicks or worse naked or a cock shot on the "initial" contact can be a red flag. The guy may not be looking for an "appointment" but a "girlfriend" and is selling himself way to hard

not always the case you have to look at it in context with the whole email to  really get a feel for it.

i think its best to just provide her what info shes looking for on her screening form etc, be polite but friendly. It goes a super long way.

Maybe, maybe not. I understand your point, all are inappropriate pictures. Her bullet point was "here is my photo" and the response was "And why would I want a picture of you, dear hopeful client? It’s a business transaction, not a personals service." Its obviously only one provider's opinion, I'm just curious to see if most providers would see a discreet photo as a red flag if the rest of the contact email contained all of her requested verification info. I know for a fact (having sent a link to a photo and still booked the date) that its not a deal-breaker for everyone, but being new to this whole process, I'm just trying to refine my approach.

This is what I do if the provider requires email for the first contact.

I will tell my real name and say I have references and have a datecheck number. Tell her when I would like to meet and then if she contacts me I will provide these references and phone number she can contact me.

I do it this way because when I first started I was giving out all my info on initial contact. Sometimes I would never hear back, so the way I see it, my info could be floating out there with someone I don't know. This new way I at least get some contact with provider prior to giving her more info and I know she must be interested in my business.

I've only have had one provider ask me for a pic. She is now my ATF. She said it's not to see what I looked like as much as when I arrived I was who she was talking with.

Providers do not want your picture.  They don't usually care what you look like though they may care about race.

Give her the information she asks for as part of her screening process.  In all honesty, I wouldn't read the blogs of most providers unless you are prepared to read with a sense of humor and the realization that blogging is most often an exercise in venting, not a sales pitch to new clients.

I welcome a tasteful image. And other pertinent tasteful info is greatly appreciated.

Your last sentence is exactly what I do and for the very same reason. Looks do not matter to me...in fact the better looking the worse the appointment (in my experience).

So is the inverse true, the worse looking the better the date?

I'd also think that a tasteful picture might provide some indication of hygiene. If the picture provided shows unkempt hair or beard that might give a clue to the client's level of cleanliness. Plus from reading thru the archives here on TER, I see that some providers do not like bushy beards so a pic early on would save wasted time or busted date.

I have heard that some providers get nervous if the client is quite handsome and are not able to perform to their best.

I am not handsome and don't have this problem, but it is interesting.

I fear opening attachments, so make sure it's directly in the email.

As far as the picture goes, I would hope that the new client refrains from sending pics of himself with other friends or relatives. He should consider their safety. That's crazy and rude. However, a picture of himself is very thoughtful.

It's not necessary for me, but it is helpful when a man describes himself. I am not prejudice against anyone, but sometimes a stiff beard or mustache hurts like hell.  

The main reason for references is so that we may get a feel for who you are and pray that you're not LE or a serial killer.

Number one reference for me is: other reputable providers' opinions on you and your full name and phone number.

Hugs,
ciara

It has nothing to do with getting nervous and not being able to perform well. It has to do with the handsome men being arrogant pricks.

-- Modified on 1/10/2009 1:02:59 PM