At first I didn't take it seriously.  I thought it was just sex talk.  But 6 months later, he is starting to convince me.  He is talking as if we will someday be a couple.  He is trying to get me to let him meet my sister.  He wants to know my last name.  
 I told him that I loved him like a friend.   I didn't honor his other request.  Am I doing the right thing?  Is there any more that I should do?

Give him a stern warning.
Put him on total ignore.
Regret not doing either of the first two.

We pay you to act like our lovers.  You do a good job, and what do you get?  A love sick puppy.

Thank God you haven't succumbed yourself and have your wits about you.

There are two course of action now:

The safe conservative one is to send him a Dear John letter brief but simple stating that you are not comfortable seeing him any more because of his actions and from now on you will not see him or communicate with him in any way.  It is imperative that you comply with this and not falter at all, not even a text message!  If he has any maturity he will respect this, realize his folly and move on hopefully a sadder but wiser boy.

The risky path is to tell him that you two need to talk.  (That will set him up for the let down.)  Meet at a public place.  (Not your or his place, or God forbid a hotel room.)  Tell him that his talk about you being a couple is making you uneasy, and must stop immediately.  You have a right to boundaries and you expect him to respect that.  If he complains or argues that you two are meant to be a couple or similar garbage, tell him that the conversation is over and go to plan A above.  If he seems to understand and behaves, then give him another shot if otherwise he is a good client; but if he strays even an iota over your boundaries again, it's back to plan A.  Make sure he understands that fact very clearly.

Depending upon many circumstances, I think most would choose plan A.

Sorry to say, these things do not often end well.

Best of luck.

Let us know how it goes.

-- Modified on 11/22/2009 7:28:47 AM

If a hobbyist starts to talk to like it is destiny that you two will eventually be together forever, it's time for you to walk.  If he wants to introduce you to family, that reinforces the need to walk.  

From what you are saying, it's time for you to remind him of the realities of the game.  If he fails to grasp that...don't string him along, cut the ties immediately!

-- Modified on 11/22/2009 8:16:36 AM

Well, thats a shock to my system.  I wasn't expecting such extreme measures.  I am new at this and I only have 3 clients.  All regulars.  Two talk about love.  The one in question here is my best client.  He always pays extra.  I enjoy being with him and stay as long as he likes.  Yesterday I gave him 5 hours and didn't ask for more.  I enjoy being with him and truely do love him like a dear friend.  sooo....
I think I will have a talk with him, but in a much more gentle manner than you suggest.  If that doesn't work, then I think I will just have to learn the hard way.

I believe that you are all right.  I just have to try and deal with this my way first.  If it doesn't work out, then I will see my mistake and reconsider plan A.

Thank you all for the help.  He is my best client.  I will have a gentle discussion about this and hope for the best.  Plan A is always an option if needed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-B0WCBz2mg

Whatever else you do, do NOT introduce him to your sister or friends or anyone else!  And I agree with Plan A: let him go.

Don't see him, don't communicate with him.  At most, send a note stating that he is getting too personal and making you uncomfortable, so you are making the choice not to see him anymore and he should find a different companion.

If you have the "We need to talk" conversation, there is a slight chance he will see the error of his ways and straighten up.  

More likely though, if he agrees to distance himself to a more professional level he will only be giving the appearance of doing so while pining after you between meetings.  This route is a time bomb you shouldn't risk (IMO).

I hope it's not already too late and he can still be shut down.

(edit spelling)

-- Modified on 11/22/2009 8:47:35 AM

How can this work?  99% of all men I have ever dated in my life have fallen for me.  I don't know why, I don't do anything to cause it.  If I dump every man who falls for me, then I can never have regulars.  That's one reason that I quit normal dates.  I got tired of the drama and stalkers.  I thought that this would be different.

You do have a type of relationship.  He needs to know where your non-business emotions are at.  Tell him you love him as a client but do not want more and that you do not see that changing.  Repeat yourself three different ways.  Hit him over the head with a frying pan, then repeat yourself a 4th way with no confusion.  He might start to get it a little and you don't loose a client you like.

Cut the ties, the sooner the better.
Further contact will only encourage him. Now that you know about his feelings you have to take control of the situation. He is probably not in control of himself.

Discussing boundaries with him may sound like a good idea, but it does sound as if he is already past the point of no return.

Good luck!  

Thank you.  He is a smart man.  He did start to back peddle when I told him I loved him as a friend.  It may work.

It's only going to get worse....

If you want to see how the "I'll try it my way and be gentle about it" route works out, please read the following thread:

Of course, the guy is fallng for you.  It happens all the time & the Erotic Highway is full of these situations & even a few on the GD board.  He has had great sex with you & the male hormones kick in...  which is great for the continuation os the species & very bad for NSA (No Strings Attached) providers.
I understand that he is your best client...  perhaps you can read him the riot act.  You are NOT in LOVE, this is NSA, etc.  If he can not abide with this, then you'll be unable to see him anymore.  
Frankly, it would be good if you could take a break from each other.  6 months or so...  to gain perspective.  I initiated a break from a Fav who I was getting too close to.  I forced myself to meet others.  Eventually I did resume seeing the Fav but it is not like before on either side.  Also she no longer answers my e-mail except business.    
If he is really smitten, then talk will not help & you'll have to break it off with him anyway.
I would not use ANY Love word with him.  Like him but it will never be more than that...  in the strongest possible terms!  Do not give him hope.  You may have to hurt him, to get through to him.
It may not even be possible.  He may turn stalker on you.  You may have to block his e-mail & phones.  The longer this goes on the harder it will be.
skb

Maybe a few of the Hobbyists posting on this board that are in your area could 'volunteer' to become new clients of yours to make up for your revenue loss when you cut this guy loose (as you must)!

He knows or should know that he is crossing the line.  Unfortunately, the brain may know but the emotions may not get the message.  Make it plain, he does not get to meet your friends & family.  You do not meet his.  Any voilations & you can not see him again.  

I really do care for my Favorite ladies.  But we both know that no matter what else, it ends when that door closes between us.  It has to.    

While you are at it, don't let you other clients cross that line either!  
skb

Trust me, Sarah, you WILL have other regulars.  I didn't think anyone would want me at all, and yet I have regular clients and repeat clients, as well as uniques.  It'll work.  Just be safe, both in your life and with your heart.

Don't let him sucker you back in

Men like this often say, okay I'll back down, sorry I didn't respect your boundaries, etc.  But a week, a month or a year later, they'll be doing the same thing.

Get rid of him as nicely as you can.

Good luck

up empty) I can only assume you are a very attractive lady who does provide a GFE service.  Apparently you are very good since 99% of the guys "fall for you".  Congrats on doing a great job!

Now for the problem at hand.  If he doesn't accept the stern warning then you need to move on.  There will be other clients who will discover your great attributes.  Good luck to you!