Nothing extravagant $20.00
I recently had lunch with a local provider to get her into a comfort zone. We discussed many things during lunch. Upon completing lunch I asked her if she was satisfied with me, and she said she was, and asked me to get back with her when I was ready for the next step.
A few days later I sent her an e-mail requesting some dates. She responded back to me that she was no longer comfortable, and was nervous about me. She wanted to know a full name, employer name, and employer internet site. She said she wouldn't call my employer. If that's true why would she request my employer's name????
My response back was why didn't she tell me she was uncomfortable during our lunch, I would have been happy to show her my drivers license, or other form of ID. She apparently didn't know a reason.
Due to drug allegations in our marketplace, providers moving from agency to agency etc., I'm just not comfortable that anything beyond personal ID would not be compromised in our marketplace.
Any suggestions? What is the norm to becoming a hobbyist?
I have no problem in a provider checking me out, but I thought
is enough ..... sounds like you just came across someone with cold feet or for whatever reason didn't want to see you ... there are alot of flakes out there ... your first meeting idea is a good one ... all providers have different comfort levels ... keep trying build up a good rapport with one and she will sweep you off your feet .....
It is possible you put off a vibe to make her feel that way. You may have been nervous, standoffish...who knows.
For your own comfort level, don't provide any more information that you want to. From my personal standpoint, I NEVER, EVER give out my employer information. Had a bad experience once.... But that is just me. Some ladies won't see you without a work reference. I would simply see someone else.
It doesn't sound like a match to me. Try...try again.
meeting a hobbyist. But this provider sounds flaky. She should have given you some idea of what verification information that she would need after the lunch, or simply suggested that you check her website to find out what was needed. I suggest that you move on.
I become very suspicious when a provider asks for my employers name, but comments she won't contact them. Than why the hell do they need to know the name? I offered my Driver's License, or other personal ID. I guess it wasn't acceptable.
I thouroughly understand any providers need for security, but it works both ways. Most hobbyists do not want employers, wife's girlfriends etc to find out there hobby. How can a hobbyist be comfortable when a provider has so much key personal information.
I'm a newbie, but my first experience left a very sour taste.
I can't imagine what I did wrong. I'm not a fatty, reasonable looking etc. Everything was Ok at our meeting, than everything fell apart with no contact but an e-mail.
This particular provider is likely the most popular in my area. (Phoenix)Its going to take awhile before I work up the courage to try again.
Professional providers will not use the employer or home information to contact those locations. A good, smart verifier can use the internet once she has the information to confirm what you gave her is accurate and that she is not walking into a trap.
I prefer several modes of contacting a lady. Sometimes I am comfortable doing it only with email, sometimes I have to speak with them. Most well reviewed providers have email and phone contact listed on their websites. Some will only contact you once they have gained some useful verification information.
If you wife's girlfriends are associated with this business then it is highly unlikely that they are going to turn you end if they come across information that you hobby.
No one should never give out a Social Security number to anyone involved with this business. But most wise people protect that information in all situations, this business or not.
I'm a provider and have a form that I make all appointments from on my web site. Even though I ask for employer it is not necessary to put that info there as long as I hace a contact phone number and real name and address. This I use to verify for my protection. I will only contact you as a hobbiest to confirm the appointment and also to reconfirm on the day of appointment. This is usually done by phone or email. If I dont get a confirmation from you I concider the appointment a no show. I rarely ever accept same day appointments, this is something you should think about too. Most providers need advanced notice or bookings to get an appointment with. And of course always bring your ID.
XOXO
Carla
I found that belonging to a registry such as R2K works. You get most of the verification out of the way one time. The provider can check R2k and you don't have to give a great deal of information all the time.
They need to feel comfortable too, but you sometimes things just don't click either. Maybe it's better you didn't waste resources finding out why.
There are a lot of good providers, just move on.
SayWhen,
Did you just pay for lunch or was the provider's hourly rate paid?
It sounds like a good idea if all I have to pay for is lunch on the first meeting.
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