So, you're just about at the limit.

In any case, you should always notify a provider before listing her as a reference, so why not do so now.

The worst that can happen is that they'll say they don't remember you.

You can ask for a reference after just one visit as long as it is in the 3 month window, or whatever time frame they specify.

So I took a break of about 3 months and now my references seem out of date (I think, they've worked with some but not others). My question is about how often do you ask for new references? How many visits before it's appropriate? My first two I had seen maybe 2 times before I asked, but as is evident the referrals have been spotty at best. Maybe it's time to take the leap and sign up for dc or p411.

As always, thanks for any help

..."heads up" if a gentleman chooses to list me as a reference.  Three days, three months, or three years, I always let the lady know when the gentleman, and I last visited.

  I, also, initiate the reference conversation, after meeting a new friend.  During small talk, and dressing after, I always tell him: "while I truly did enjoy our time together, and I would love to see you in the future, please know, that should you wish to visit with another lady, please know that you may list me as a reference".  Run on sentence; I apologize.

Hugs and Kisses,
Kelly

I have never had an issue with them being out of date.  The only issue might be if the references are asking me to see them again so that I can keep using them as a reference.

I'll use a reference even if I've only  seen her once. I only ask providers that I've reviewed and usually use them as a reference for about 4 months. I always send a heads up email to the reference that she'll be contacted by a provider I'm about to see.  I'm a fairly active hobbyists so it's not difficult for me to have current references. I also have TER white list references and for some providers that's a good enough reference, especially if the provider I'm about to see has a friend who's given me a white list reference. For the OP joining P411 is a good idea.