Newbie - FAQ

I have to agree with the Sinful1
budzinger13 1169 reads
posted
1 / 23

I am still new to this, having one encounter under my belt. I had a great time, although nervous the whole time. I plan on seeing the same provider, not bounce around (not that there is anything wrong with that.)Our second "date" is set up for a few weeks from now.

Here is my question. While I do not plan on seeing multiple providers, my ultimate fantasy is being with two women who will make love to each other as I join in. My providers website says she does not see women or couples. She also makes clear, in a nice way that "no means no." I know this is kind of a stupid question. I'm sure that after we have established a bit of relationship and some trust, that it couldn't possibly hurt to broach the subject with her. Have most of you more experienced guys found that what is said on the website is set in stone, or will they sometimes reconsider?

If such a session could be arranged, how does it work? would I have to pay two providers for their time? I assume I would.

Any help would be appreciated.

Sinful1 See my TER Reviews 699 reads
posted
2 / 23

See another woman or see a couple and that NO means NO, what make you even ask this question.  She has obviously stated her answer.  If she asked you if you would like strap-on play and you said NO, would you appreciate it if she pulled out a strap-on at your next appointment.  This lady is clearly stating that she is NOT BI-SEXUAL!!!  Respect her wishes and do not push the subject or you may find yourself not invited back.

If you really feel its important to you to have that girl-on-girl experience, find a lady who is bisexual, see her to see if you are compatible and then ask her help in suggesting another lady that she is comfortable with and who can make this fantasy come true.

budzinger13 1061 reads
posted
3 / 23

Wow...where to start. First, I would never PUSH the subject. If I broached the subject at all, it would be after we had established a relationship, and it would be a simple.."so, is that not seeing women thing set in stone?" If the answer is yes...end of story. I really do not feel that just asking is the same as "pushing." Second, I'm not sure it is as cut and dry as you say, and that is why I am asking.

From her websites FAQ

"Do you see couples?

I do not meet with couples or women."

Disregarding couples, does that mean that she does not accept women making appointments with her? Does that exclude having a second woman as part of a regular clients session? These are honest questions, I am new to this and I respect your opinion, as I know how much help you have posted on this site. But please, your "strap on" example seems a bit harsh. I am talking about uttering a few words in the form of a question, not forcing anything on anyone. I would never do that.

-- Modified on 5/13/2010 12:52:57 AM

-- Modified on 5/13/2010 7:19:46 AM

hound_dog69 41 Reviews 696 reads
posted
4 / 23

If it was ambiguous, I would say to ask. It isn't so don't.

At most, you could let her know how much you enjoy her company, but are also looking for a duo experience, and ask if she can recommend/refer you to someone.

WebTerrorist 614 reads
posted
5 / 23

Would you "make love to a guy" and then have the provider join in?

If your answer is "no"; after you have established a bit of a relationship and trust with the provider, would that make you change your answer to yes?


If you told her under no circumstances would you do a MFM session, even if you and the other M didn't touch each other...after you have established a relationship and trust, would you like her to ask if you would "make love" to another man and then she could join in?


Just as your trust and "relationship" with her probably isn't going to make you all of a sudden OK with gay sex, her trust or "relationship with you has nothing to do with her wanting to have lesbian sex.


All that said, I will offer how you can broach the subject with her.  After, as you said, you have built a relationship and trust, tell her about your fantasy of two women, and ask her if she knows any ladies that work together that she could recommend to you.  If she is at all open to the idea she will tell you, if not she may be able to give you names of ladies that do doubles and give you a recommendation.

As for how doubles work, yes, you pay both ladies for their time. Usually ladies that do doubles will have on their websites ladies they enjoy working with and the rates for a their doubles sessions.

wp55285 28 Reviews 685 reads
posted
6 / 23

Hounddog's got it right.  As your relationship grows with your current provider, bring up the subject of your interest. Ask her opinion as to who she would suggest you should contact. If she has any interest, she'll tell you then. It's a way to ask her interest without asking.

Ripped_Van_Winkle 631 reads
posted
7 / 23

The reason for having one in the first place is so hobbyists will NOT ask for items that are not available.

When you do find the appropriate providers, you will have to pay both of them for their time.

AlfredReader 17 Reviews 551 reads
posted
9 / 23

First, I sure wouldn't do that inquiry on the second or third date.  She has a strongly worded "no" on her site and IF she is willing to discuss such things and bend her own rules it is not likely so so (probably not at all, but certainly not so soon).

Second, weigh your potential gain and loss.  If you ask she may not only say no, she may be less inclined to see you because she thinks you are pushing her boundaries.

I also prefer to have a couple regular providers I see over and over, but this might be a case where it is lower risk to see a provider who advertises she is Bi- and/or does doubles.  Not only a safer one to ask but she will be more into it and you will have a better doubles session.  You can always keep seeing your "regular" the other times.

budzinger13 822 reads
posted
10 / 23

Thank you.... someone finally understood my question. I should have done a better job phrasing it. It is not clear to me  if her webste says she won't do MFF or not. I do like the suggestion of asking, without really asking. That is probably the way I will handle it. But just to clarify, it was never my intent to.push, force, badger or coerce anyone....it was all about a simple question. To be honest, I wouldn't want to spend my money or time on anyone who would object to clearing up confusion by answering a question, if asked respectfully.  

-- Modified on 5/13/2010 1:41:36 PM

little phil 37 Reviews 531 reads
posted
11 / 23

If you use one (which is fine BTW), you need to continue to do so throughout the thread.  I fixed your post.  I'm pretty easy on that rule, but doing that on the other boards could get you in deep do-do.

rbotha1 See my TER Reviews 584 reads
posted
12 / 23

is to let you know what services we offer and DON'T offer, this way you can make an informed decision as to which provider best suits your needs. There is nothing more irritating than getting an email or phone call asking for something that our website clearly states we don't offer. If you ask this be prepared to be turned down or ignored all together.

hound_dog69 41 Reviews 606 reads
posted
13 / 23

I don't think anyone thought you meant to badger the lady. I certainly did not. However, it sounds from your reaction to the negative responses that you have already decided what the right answer is.

You can always ask, but as explained well in these responses, there are potential risks to someone you enjoy seeing.

Sinful1 See my TER Reviews 793 reads
posted
14 / 23

Look at the lady's TER profile and see if she is bisexual.  If she is not, chances are she will object to doubles that involves girl-on-girl play.

I personally know of some providers who are just as lesbian-phobic as some men are homo-phobic.

As a bisexual female, my worst experiences have been with a female provider who is totally heterosexual and is trying to put on an act for a client.  I am not speaking of someone who is "passive bi," but rather not "bi" at all.

The key to a great FMF scenario is to know what you expect.  If you want to be the Lcenter of attention" and have two women please you, a non-bi provider may fit the bill.  If you want two ladies to interact with each other intimately, you should make sure they are both bi.

It also helps if the ladies know each other and are comfortable together.

The comment about "strap on" was made for shock factor only.  Your reaction to being faced with that scenario may be of the same intensity as the reaction a non-bi provider would have to girl-on-girl play! (Or the suggestion of it, in some cases.)

budzinger13 3506 reads
posted
15 / 23

I really appreciate the "gentler response." You make very good points, and I will be very careful how I proceed..if I do :)

budzinger13 448 reads
posted
16 / 23

sorry about that, it was not intentional. I just don't like the original handle I chose...better go back to it anyway maybe.

little phil 37 Reviews 720 reads
posted
17 / 23

If you want to change your primary TER user name, use the "contact us" button at the top of the page and request it to be changed.

budzinger13 673 reads
posted
18 / 23

I will do that, right after I post this. Can you tell me what the purpose of alias are, what is a proper use of them? With a change of primary user name, I wouldn't expect to use one, but I am curious.

RRO2610 51 Reviews 632 reads
posted
20 / 23

You should also feel free to ask a provider who advertises $500/hour

if she will lower her price to $200/hour for YOU.
And while you're at it go get some commercial financing for a new car that DOES NOT require FULL insurance coverage.

You're a neophyte, and a greenhorn. Graciously accept the clemency given your naivety; but learn quickly that "Compulsive Negotiators" and manipulators are generally shunned by providers.  


inmyLPINdays 909 reads
posted
21 / 23

I'll answer that one. Say I used to go to the Nevada brothels some time ago. Their rates are a lot higher than most rates you find here. If I posted about specific experiences here without an alias, I might attract unwanted interest. (say from some that would want me to spend money on them)

Basically, an alias is there when you don't want others to know it was necessarily you making the post. If you still want to voice an opinion but not be bugged about it. Then again, the mod posted a link but I thought I'd offer my own two cents.

budzinger13 712 reads
posted
22 / 23

LOL...do you feel all better now? Get your daily quota of flaming in?

You call me a "greenhorn," and a "neophyte." Well, Sherlock...I did post this on the NEWBIE BOARD.

Here's what you need to do. find yourself a dictionary, that's a book that tells you what words mean. Next, find someone to walk you through how to use it. Now...look up the other words you called me, "Compulsive Negotiator, and "manipulator."

little phil 37 Reviews 725 reads
posted
23 / 23

The newbie board is a safe place for people to let the wet behind the ears dry without fear of abuse.  

We help each other.  That's not going to change, and if there's a problem with that philosophy, I'll bend someone until they see it.

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