Newbie wondering if there is something I should say/shouldn't say in my first contact with a provider other than "Hi, I am going to be in [city] on [date] and am very interested in spending some time together" ?
Thanks in advance for your help
When she replies, which, hopefully, she will, you can then set a firm date and time. I'm assuming you have done your research and know about her and what to expect in your date with her.
Swim
and also how you might be verified. For example that you belong to DateCheck or P411, or if you have references. You can ask if she is newbie-friendly.
You should also say how long is your desired appointment, if you are seeking incall or outcall, and a desired meeting time or time-frame. (If that time is not good for her she is likely to suggest when she is available.)
Does it make a difference? I know, all in all, it is a business transaction, but having no experience....
(yes, Swim, did all my research here, read and compared VIP reviews, etc. Thanks!)
Many ladies offer multiple services. Check her menu and be ready to specify which service you want and for how long you want it.
she offers the services you desire. I for example generally prefer providers who offer rimming which is my favorite activity. Don't be bashful...you can come right out in your email or telephone conversation telling her exactly what you want. An experienced provider will have no qualms in responding and if she does not meet your desires, then move on. There are a countless number of available providers who are sexually uninhibited, accommodating and anxious to please. It's a mans world...BUT here's a relevant FunPic which contradicts my advice..So be it.
I would not recommend specifying what kind of service you are interested in.
I would take a look at the reviews of the ladies you are interested in that way you can see what she offers. that way there is no reason to include this in your initial communication.
I know when I get appointment requests and a gent speaks of services I will not respond.
Also,in your initial request I would let the lady or ladies know you are a newbie as some ladies do not see newbies.This info should be in her ads and/or website.
A quick introduction and what day and time you are requesting and how long of an appointment.
Let the ladies know you are a newbie and you are willing to provide the necessary info to set up an appointment and ask what does she need from you if you do not see the info on her website.
As long as you do not mention particular services or rates you should not have a problem.
Good luck to you!
Many ladies offer multiple services. Check her menu and be ready to specify which service you want and for how long you want it.
Nick is WRONG in suggesting that a new prospect ask the lady about a specific type of service. That will be a fast track to getting no further replies, and perhaps make a few DNS lists as well.
The ONLY times I have asked a gal about a specific activity revolved around BDSM. And there was NO discussions regarding sexual activities. The gals seemed to have NO problems with this type of inquiry. But as I said...NO discussions on items that are easily found on her website or TER page.
she requires from prospective clients, and then follow through on her instructions.
She will appreciate that a lot.
Unlike many providers whose sites I read linked from here, hers has nothing with respect to "etiquette" or FAQs, only "about me", "gallery" "donations" and contact info. So I guess I will go with Jaydalee's advice. Many thanks!
You welcome no problem.What I am going to say I am speaking I care who you are and that you took the time to include this information in your initial correspondence and some ladies do not.
The gents who I have spoken with that send the required info(screening/references)and a short introduction,is respectful not mentioning anything explicit those are the ones who almost never have an issue with getting a response from a provider.
I am more inclined to respond to that type of contact than the kind where it is "hey saw your ad are you available?"I like to keep things simple and easy for myself and the gents I see so providing the required info in the initial email along with the date and time you are requesting saves you and the provider time versus her having to ask you for more info and then you have to reply you get where I am going.
Every lady does what works for her this is just my .02
Main thing is to have fun.
Good luck to you!
Here's the link
would have been to suggest "an hour of her time." On the next round, offer to provide what ever information she requires.
would like to have. Also, tell her something about yourself such as 5'2"/280 pounds/bald 25 yearold virgin.
Ask a bunch of newbies!
If you followed most of the guy advice on here, you would never hear from me again!
Never ask about any services or use the term GFE or anything else. Don't even mention the services in her profiles or reviews... be generic if you refer to them, "I'm impressed with your reviews."
DON'T use the term "Newbie" - it makes you sound like an undercover. Real "newbies" don't even know that term.
Don't describe yourself. We don't care. This isn't internet dating.
Your email is fine the way it is! Anything further she needs or wants to know, she will ask you! When things sound too prepared, it makes us nervous. So don't bring up screening... let her do it!
Here's a typical email I would get:
Hi, my name is John and I noticed your ad on Eros. I will be in town next week and I am wondering if you are available.
That' it.
Does that sound familiar? You did fine (pat on the back)... now go get some pussy!
Have to disagree with you somewhat. These guys aren't newbies. They are answering based on their experience It's been working for them so it must work. Check the review numbers of these guys. There in the 30's and higher. There were some newbie answers here but not all and the experienced guys disagreed with the newbie answer. You are correct in that you say what you want and what you will accept in a contact e-mail. But I've read many other providers respond to questions like this and they don't all do it the way you do.
Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with you explaining the way you do it. But to Say "If you followed most of the guy [sic] advice on here,you would never hear from me again!" ...and disparage the opinions of these guys is unnecessary and inappropriate. Even your subject misses the point of this "Newbie" board.
The purpose of this board is for experienced guys to give advice to newbies. It appears you assume that everyone here is a newbie. Please do make your advice and experience available, but don't put down the advice of others.
Thank You for your input.
My response was specifically to the advice I commented on in my post... not all the responses
TER is a very small island in the big "REAL WORLD."
We providers are being approached by guys on a daily basis in the big real world, not just TER members.
We come to recognize "normal" and "Abby normal."
Anything that is "Abby normal" can make us nervous or make you look completely inexperienced.
It is abnormal for a guy to put a physical description in a first contact email (though normal for guys who post in the close encounters section of Craigslist - which is exactly what I think when I get these). It is abnormal for a guy to say "I am a newbie" (most guys who have "never done this before" have never even heard of TER, nor the term "newbie," nor do they research the whole process first like they are studying for the bar exam... it is rare... unusual... not common at all - not that I'm criticizing that... it's just very unusual). It is solicitation for a guy to refer to "services" he would like during the date (though "normal" really for a inexperienced guy ignorant about why this would make a girl nervous).
I am a provider giving an EXAMPLE of a TYPICAL first contact email. I did not say this is what I preferred... I said is what I usually get! I get them daily! Does some guy who has contacted providers a few dozen times really have more experience about what is a "normal" first contact email than a provider who actually gets the requests? Really? You're going to tell me I should listen to him about what is normal when I KNOW what is normal? I'm sure every provider has some different approach she would prefer... but that doesn't change what is common, frequent, and typical.
Here is an email I got today, in its entirety:
Angelique,
Are you available to meet me in Scottsdale Friday night?
James
I say yes, and his second email he gives me his TER handle and he is whitelisted. We go from there.
Once again... this is a typical, normal, expected first contact.
Did you ever stop to think that maybe, possibly, perhaps some of the advice given by other guys might be pure BS and that their apparent ignorance can make them appear to be inexperienced to an experienced provider?
Sorry to go off like that... I just can't sit back and let someone tell me I'm wrong about something that I know I'm right about without going into a huff!
His email was fine the way it was. It was normal!
...with your advice to the OP. I took issue with your comments about those giving advice.
You said in your subject "How to get really bad advice from the newbie board." then followed with "Ask a bunch of newbies!" The way you stated this negated all the advice given. That statement made it appear you thought others here giving advice are newbies. I simply pointed out that was incorrect. Your beginning disparaged all the advice and all the advice givers.
By saying "If you followed most of the guy advice on here, you would never hear from me again!" you make it appear that all the advice given in this thread was useless.
Yes, you got specific as you went on but the damage was done. Your beginning set the tone. Also, though your advice was sound there are other providers that wouldn't disagree with you but wouldn't object to some of the things you objected to. I simply wanted to point out to you that you could have said the very same thing to the OP without calling into question what the others had posted. I will agree that some of the advice given was definitely not the way to approach an initial contact. I believe you and others made that clear, which was indeed appropriate.
In this post you ask:
"Does some guy who has contacted providers a few dozen times really have more experience about what is a "normal" first contact email than a provider who actually gets the requests? Really?" Clearly the answer to this is No. However, If you read my post again you will see that I never said a "guy who has contacted providers a few dozen times" would have more experience about it than a provider. What I said was many of the posters had review numbers in the 30's and higher and what they had to say was valid.
In summary I had no issue with your advice to the OP. I took issue with your initial remarks that disparaged the board and the valid advice others gave.
Again thank you for your input. Please do continue to give the benefit of you experience and wisdom to newbies that have questions posted on this board.
When I am being contacted by a potential client, the main thing that I look for is are they respectful.
I have an appointment request form on my website and one of the questions I ask is "what attracted you to me and why do you want to see me". I can tell so much from the answer to this question.
If a guy says, "you're really hot and I want to fuck your ass". I find that very disrespectful and crude and that's not the kind of guy I'm looking to spend time with.
If he says something really kind and respectful like, "I really like your movies, I'm a big fan and I've always wanted to meet you" that tells me that he would be pleasant to spend time with.
If you show the girl you want to see respect, you can't go wrong.
Lots of Lust,
Keisha