I am much like you:

I have a significant other that (-much like
yours-) does not know about my involvement in this business

I have children and friends in my life (-as you do-) who would be hurt if they were to learn the truth

I have a profession and a reputation in the business community, outside of his business
(-like you-) that would be damaged if the truth came out

I have an accountant, a financial planner and I pay taxes on all of my income (*just like you*)

I enjoy reading, the theater and the arts (*just like you*)

I am a home owner, a registered voter, I hold a degree and I have known struggles in my life (*just like you*)

I (*like you*) expect individuals to be respectful of my time and the time I am not participating in the business

~Now a few things that we might not share~

I have a working knowledge of the health risks associated with sex (*do you*)

I have a working knowledge of the law and my rights associated with this business (*do you*)

I have information posted on the internet in several places that share my sexual likes & dislikes (*do you*)

When a new friend first meets me they know exactly what to expect in regards to my appearance & behavior in this business (*this isn't true about you*)

I am very conscience not to offend or degrade you (*can you say the same*)

I have a location that I plan to meet you at that will not leave any evidence or tail tale signs that you have been with me (*do you*)

I will have respect for you as an individual and for the unspoken part of your life that doesn't involve me (*can I say the same or you*)

I truly enjoy the time I spend while in this business and look for the best in each person that I spend time with (*do you*)

..........the bottom line is, I have just as much, or more to loose than you do-

Isn't it only fair to expect you to understand that??

Happy Hobbying (*know your providers reputation*)
kisses..... ~Tori

I agree with Tori.  it is this very aspect of the ladies I am meeting that they are real people with feeling,dreams, desires, and fears, just like me.  I hope I have made good impressions on my SP's.  While it is only an hour here or there, I care enough about them to remember how similar we all are  

Well said!

Thanks for the reality lesson to so many closed minds Tori. I too am in a profession which is portrayed extremely negatively in the media. It seems pre conceived notions run rampant in our society about each other. This is why I  show the utmost respect when dealing with a provider. After all I've never walked a mile in there shoes, just like they haven't mine. I guess the idea postulated by that book "everything I needed to know about life I learned in Kindergarten" is true. I think if we all learn how to play together in the sand box everything else will work itself out.

One, all your I'm like you statements are nothing but the obvious, and the how you aren't like us look like you are the enlightened one and we are all idiots!  Here's another I'm not like you that you should add:  In your I'm like you, you say you have a S0, kids and friends that don't know you are in the biz, just like us, but unlike you, we don't post our bodies and blurred faces on a website and advertise our name and town!  You mean to tell me that your hubby can't identify you just because of a blurred face, what the heck does he look at when you two are dancing!?

Someone tries to bring some humanity to the hobby, and someone else, hiding behind an alias, has to throw stones.

Well said Tori!!!

Love and respect, to all of the lovely ladies I've met before, and hope to meet in the future!!!

jazz32

Don't limit that food 4 thought to the newbies.  There are plenty of others that could use a refresher course.

Thanks for the insight.

"You mean to tell me that your hubby can't identify you just because of a blurred face"

(Scene: at a provider's house)

SO: "Hey!!! I just saw a picture on an escort web site, and I think it's you!!  What the hell is going on?!!!"

Provider, option A: "What the hell are you doing looking at escort web sites???  You're screwing escorts?!?!?!?"

Provider, option B: "Oh god. (sniffle)  Honey, when I was younger, I let my boyfriend take some....suggestive pictures of me.  When I dumped him, he posted them online to get revenge on me.  It looks like this escort is using them in her ad.  I'm so embarassed. (sob)"

Provider, option C: "That's not me, honey.  I've got bigger tits.  And a tatoo."  (Tatoo was also blured out in the picture).

Provider, option C1: "What do you mean I don't have bigger tits??!!!  Are you saying I'm ugly?!?!"

And so on, and so on, and so on.  You need some more experience arguing with a woman.

-- Modified on 5/12/2006 10:34:32 PM

~I understand it is impossible to believe that there are men in the world who do not access porn sites, or adult sites... ever

In regards to what you decided to  AssUme ....  the term S/O actually is thought to represent a significant other, not necessarily a "hubby" - to use your word. It is sad that individuals just make AssUmptions that can lead to thoughts of their own that are far removed from reality.

Not that I feel any validation is necessary but since you did take the time to post, I will reply. (*sorry it wasn't immediate, I was away for the weekend*)  My S/O does not surf adult sites, EVER.... It also helps that every computer with my S/O's utilization, even his home desk top... is under close watch and just a hit (~from any desk top, lap top or any other computer authorized by him to use~)  to an adult site, would result in a very serious investigation into the incident.

.....And much to the disbelief of many Newbies, I don't walk the street in 7 inch stilettos with a short skirt. I have a very professional look and my mannerisms are not what most would envision as a hooker. So the very thought of linking the "hobby" to me doesn't usually present itself.

As my post was trying to suggest.... not all providers are uneducated, illiterate druggies who are merely looking for their next BJ to support their crack addition. When you examine the real facts, a woman in this business, with any effort.... can be the sole proprietor of a small business. A small business in which she does her own marketing, communicating and overseeing the advertising. She is also in control of the growth of her business. When you consider the statics of small business ventures it would be hard to find a small business that can profit close to a quarter of a million dollars in the first year operating.

Thank you for reminding me why I made the post to begin with and for illustrating the lack of thought put forth in some of the statements made to providers. Believe it or not there are providers who have "thought the process through" and who have taken the precautions and steps necessary to try to safe guard their involvement. It is just unfortunate that many hobbyist do not do the same. Thus, I have to sift through literally hundreds of emails to weed out the careless, thought less ones that can jeopardize my safety and lifestyle. And..... as harsh as it might sound, this is all to avoid careless, thoughtless men who think that the color of their donation out weighs any other concerns in my life.

If you were running your own small business and you did not pay attention to the details..... would you stay in business? ... neither would I

There are providers that are truly indeed professionals and cater to discretion and privacy....  thus offering a truly safe "walk on the wild side" .... In my opinion, that separates the hobbyists from the johns who frequent street walkers.

If you are involved in the hobby, in my opinion, you have already decided that you are willing to compensate a lady for her awareness and safety and the implied guarantee that you will walk away with no ramifications. The mere fact that my "blurr" face might be on the internet isn't proof of anything in my life or lifestyle. No more so than your post under a screen name on this board. (*But I appreciate the insight into your train of thought*)

Happy Hobbying, thank you for your thoughts (*and know your providers reputation*).....  kisses ~Tori

Torri...althought we have never met, I trully respect your thoughts and now know that you are a intelligent, classy lady. In my years I have met many ladies, and fortunately,  a great percentage fall intom your stature.
Stay well..prehaps we will meet one day. (PM not available)

The only time I've ever seen you on the street, you were wearing shorts, sneakers, and a baseball cap.  And looked mighty fine, too, I might add...    Go Braves!!

..... -But- I was in disguise that night
(*actually one of my fav outfits, really enhanced when the scoreboard is in our favor*)kisses ~T

BEAUTIFULLY WOrded. High five, and AMEN sisstah...

Thank you...I really needed a good Roll on the Floor laugh...

That was beautifully written. You do our community a great justice by providing a little humanity. Kudos to you, babe.

-That someone was still reading my thoughts.

I understand there are some who think I am a bit insane, but I follow my own heart and my own path. Thank you again for the comment  kisses ~Tori

sorry double post- bad connections

-- Modified on 9/12/2007 9:00:29 PM

Terrific Post...highlighting the similarities puts things in perspective

Thank you for this Tori.

hi tori
what a lovely post that was. thanks for taking the time to write it. it can be a very lonely life sometimes, with this second, secret side. it's nice to be reminded i am not the only one.

Tori:
I found it very interesting and informative to read you post.  It made you seem more human to me and widened my perspective.

I am new to this and am doing a lot of reading in the forums.

Namaste,

Don