I was wondering if you gents and ladies had an idea of how you would handle this situation concering donations.  I am new at this but I have managed to find a provider who is willing to meet me for a lunch meeting first to make sure I am who I say I am and I was wondering if you folks had suggestions on how much I should bring.  Should I bring her going hourly rate or should I simply pay for the meal and call it even or do I go somewhere in the middle and bring a small donation and pay for the meal as well?  Thoughts?

she feels comfortable, you need to be prepared to not waste her time.  Also, you should also pick up the tab for lunch.  IMHO

So you are saying that I shouldnt have to pay for her time during the lunch meeting but if she decides to start the date right afterwards I should be prepared?

You might just go to a coffee shop instead of a full sitdown lunch site.  Someplace where you can get up and leave to the hotel at any time.

She can check your ID in the hotel bar in about fifteen seconds before you go up to her room.  I'm not really clear on the reason why there has to be a lunch involved.

If you are determined to go this route I suggest you be sure that both of you are on the same page about the lunch donation BEFORE you agree to meet.

Unless you and the provider agree to "off-the-clock" dates, never assume any time with her will be "off-the-clock".

If I extend an invite and ask a gent if he would like to enjoy dinner as well and he says "yes", it is now assumed he will look at my dinner date rates and prepare to bring the proper donation. Any gent who has not wanted to pay for the dinner rate has declined the offer to get dinner. It is not considered gentleman-like to assume anything about a lady’s rates that is not on her website. And as we all know, her website says she gets paid for her time. Pay her and NEVER assume something will be "off-the-clock".

Also, make sure to present her with her donation discreetly in public.

~Gia

... in order to screen him he shouldn't have to pay for that time. As BostonGuy said, there are other ways to screen that won't cost him $$$. Women can tell who's a newbie and may take advantage of that.  She (or we) could tell him about RS2000, Preferred411 or Date-Check so he wouldn't have to buy the next 3 or 4 ladies lunches either.

Having re-read the OP, he said she was 'willing' to meet him for lunch.  That indicates to me that lunch was his idea so he should pay for the time and meal.

-- Modified on 6/27/2009 1:45:47 AM

Actually dinner was her suggestion but like you all said I am new at this and I certainly dont mind paying a lunch/dinner rate if that is what needs to be done but I just didnt want to embarrass her by coming with a donation when it wasnt requested or vice versa.  Also I have just rechecked her donations listing on her site and there is only hourly rates no lunch/dinner rates.  I also have done my research when it comes to being screened and so far as I can come up with (because of my employment issue: I work for a family as their caretaker) a discreet lunch or dinner is the only way I can think of to get a provider to be comfortable with me.  Again thanks for all your opinions, it has helped immensely.

Best to expect to pay for all of her time...  and any food ordered...  but I'd suggest you not go with your stomach growling!  If you pass muster, you might not get past appetizers!  You can guess what the main course is!

If a lady has to prep, dress for lunch, take the time to meet you...  she has a lot of her time & effort invested.  Whether she asks for it or not, you should compensate her.  
skb  

It all depends on how the conversation is couched. If she says that she is "available" for
lunch or drinks or whatever that is diffferent.

But of course I am not shy and will communicate about this. Communication is the solution of first resort.

I have had many ladies suggest going for drinks or dinner after a mid day date. They would not offer if they had booked a client for the time. So I consider that they merely enjoyed my company and would like to spend time together instead of being alone for the afternoon or evening.

(from my side of fence... )

It's kind of a toss up... because chances are she assumes you'll pay... whether she asked you or you asked her... and if you don't pay she probably won't be happy... which I know isn't fair... As far as when the clock starts- if she's smart and wants a regular, she'll take her time with you and not start til you get to the actual appt... have your money but don't give it to her in open... and if I was a guy, don't give up front in case of scam... but make sure she is comfortable knowing you'll pay

hope that helps