because she has a new client that booked a 2 hour date at your scheduled one hour date, would you be upset for getting bumped, take it as a no big deal and just go with the new time or date she suggested, or move onto another provider? My ATF changed my date to three hours later because she would be running late from a new client who's booking a 2 hr date.  No apologies or offering of some OTC time, or discounts.   I told her have fun, and I will get in touch with her when I am free.  What would you do if this happens to you.

no big deal..she has to make a living..she needs to do what she has to do..if she is truly your atf..she will be there for you..just not exactly when you want her to be..

To her credit, she did text me a day in advance when I texted her to confirm our date.

All the options you suggest are reasonable responses.

How much notice did you get, for example?

If it was last minute, I'd find another ATF.

of the time you book. If not, nothing to stop me from going for a better deal since the lack of a deposit told me you can't guarantee a meeting either. Just sayin.

...saying you'd require a deposit from someone who thinks of you as his ATF?  An ATF implies that he sees her on a frequent basis.  I wouldn't see someone regularly, or at all, if she still requires a deposit after umpteen visits.

...was pounding her for two hours before my appointment.  Leave me a little fantasy.  Sometimes honesty isn't always the best policy.

She's also taking you for granted and it's a poor business decision.  She risks losing your steady business by taking a two hour appointment from someone who may never see her again.  I say give her a few months off to appreciate you more.

venture to his city. Regulars have first bidding, because they have already proven faithful. A newbie never has to see you again.

-- Modified on 7/19/2012 11:45:15 PM

But if I were to also give her a day's notice of cancellation, I sure don't want to hear any grief about it.

She did give him a days notice but bad form telling him why. If I have to move someone it is rarely for another client but for my other job and I don't offer a reason. I ask if it's possible and that's it. TMI just makes it's problematic.

It actually means she respects him enough to be honest. Early on in my hobbying career, I would have walked away at this point, because she has killed the fantasy. But these days I understand that there is a lot of juggling involved and I do not want my regular to be resentful of me because I am limiting how much money she makes. So I will not be happy to get bumped, but I would prefer she bump me rather than having to make a big sacrifice of $$$s to see me.

Which may make me weird.

And yes, I understand that everyone learns in provider 101 that no client wants to know that any other client exists. But at some point I enjoy honesty.

These days, I would take try to take it in stride. As for making it up to you, I bet that she will appreciate you acting like a big boy and make your next date extra special, unless you go off and sulk, in which case you have pissed away any good will you might have had. Or it may be that she is ready to make you go away. Either way, unless I was already tired of her I would go for that next date and see how she behaves. Then I would know whether it was over or just entering some new phase.

zig

Like the Grateful Dead once sang in Althea:  "...honest to the point of recklessness, some said to be extreme."

You don't have to lie, just don't give TMI.

Hey, that makes a catchy little jingle, don't it?

Thats why I didn't want that later date.  It is a fantasy we are paying for and knowing that another guy just pounded her for two hours before me wasn't what I was paying to know about, especially at 4$ per hour.  I ended up calling a k-doll agency that I used before and saw a k-doll for 2.5$.

Deciding who he's in the mood for or who give him the "better deal" and then canceling on everyone else?  And don't tell me it's not the same thing cos it is!  Personally, if either party makes a commitment, I think both should follow thru barring some unforeseen problem or emergency. It's called common courtesy, a character trait that is sorely lacking in our society.  (See also "professionalism.")  Also, could cost you money in the long run.  I've had something similar happen to me twice and both those girls were immediately taken off the old "to-do" list!  To recite my mantra: It's a buyer's market in this arena!  Just glance up: "Total Reviews: 851,926."   Hell, if you narrow the search to LA/OC/San Diego, you come up with 22,455!  That's a lot of chose from!  And that's just what's here!

With her best options.  And a two-hour appointment is really a sweet spot for a provider because she can charge nearly double the one-hour rate without having much more wear/tear.  Most two-hour appointments aren't two one-hours pasted together, but usually two pops instead of one, or a lot more talking and kissing and foreplay.

So the point is...if a provider is faced with looking at $500/hour appointment or a $850/two hour appointment, it's a bit of a no-brainer.

Now...if you were scheduled/confirmed and got bumped, that's kinda shitty.  And I would be upfront and say, "Look, I know the two hours is more profitable, but I thought we had an appointment, and it's not that easy for me to move things around."  Hopefully she will give you some kinda concession, perhaps more time or a slight discount.

I think you did the right thing.  If she's smart, she will accommodate you in some way without you having to ask.  If not, then I would move onto someone else in the future, because clearly she didn't respect your time and being flexible about it.

We already know that in the middle of the day, we are likely to be sandwiched between guys before and after.  We just don't need to feel like we are being pushed and getting sloppy seconds.

And in that sense, I can see her essentially being open to breaking appointments that were not confirmed.

As a guy who works in capital markets (probably one of hundreds of guys on this board), I can tell you that this is a sticky situation, but the protocol in the markets is that unless you are "engaged" on a potential trade, someone else is free to come in and get involved.

In this hobby that means that unless you are at some point where there is a reasonable chance of a transaction occurring, you are free to trade away, whether this be provider or client.  In our hobby, that protocol doesn't apply to RATES (rates are rates, and we don't bargain), but with regard to terms/time/session length, etc.

For example, if you call a girl up and ask her about her availability, and indicate that you are interested in booking at 6:30 pm after you get off work for an hour, the provider might say, "That's great.  However, I have a lot of interest in appointments right after work, so you need to get back to me in an hour."  She might agree to hold that appointment time down and pencil it in, but in an hour that spot becomes available.  Or she might say she will hold the appointment for you but that she reserves the right to give you a call and tell you that she has something better away and gives you the chance to match it or cancel your appointment.

It really depends on a bunch of circumstances.  But once you say "done" on the terms, it's very bad form to change them.  In my business, my word is my bond.  I can't say done on a trade and then go back and renege on it unless I want to make sure that I ruin my reputation with my trading counterparties.  And that goes both ways.

Now, shit comes up and people fuck up.  But mistakes are costly, and that means that you end up having to make concessions.  It's bad form to think otherwise.

I have been insanely busy this week and booked a session with a girl who I have been seeing for years.  She used to work on the UWS and our sessions always went from bodyrub to FS.  And she grandfathered me in at some ridiculously low rate of $140, and has never asked me for more.  That's after we have done FS, Greek, oral, etc.

At around 2 or 3 pm we booked for 7 pm.  I got sidetracked, got pulled into a meeting after work and SPACED entirely.  I did the NCNS and then realized it around 10 pm that I totally fucked up.  I texted her and apologized profusely, and I ended up offering her to pay for the session and then rebooking.  So I would be out $280 next time, not $140.  She indicated that she was fine, and that she didn't expect a cancellation fee, and that shit comes up but I'm sure she appreciated the gesture.  And I am going to make good on my word, because if the tables were turned, I would want the same offer extended to me, whether or not I exercise it.

I dunno about buyer's market vs. seller's market.  Girls aren't entirely substitutable for each other.  But consider that if you break your word, it does have consequences.  As it should.

If this happened to me, I wouldn't say I was running late because of another guy. I'd come up with a non-hobby excuse and certainly apologize. That said, why on earth would you expect OTC time or a discount? Unless I missed something, it seemed like you got the amount of time that she was compensated for. Just know that most escorts start to see red if someone asks for discounts or OTC time.Best of luck.

I'm not saying he should EXPECT a discount or OTC time, but the terms changed a few hours before his appointment, and for a new client.

The terms of the transaction did change, and neither side should expect that the terms remain the same.

For me, if I at least hear that the woman offers something as a concession, I am more than likely to turn it down.  If a woman just says..."I have a new client, and he is running late," to me that comes off as, "Wow, you are bumping me, a regular, to accommodate someone new."

Since it's an ATF, I would probably be fine with it, but hearing you are getting bumped for a new client isn't really kosher for most guys.  It would leave a bit of a bad taste in my mouth.

like you said...it is the very same thing. I don't make any promises that I can't keep, but each is told this upfront with me. Without a deposit to guarantee HE will show up, I do not guarantee either...see how that works? If a guy can't pay a measely 100 bucks, I doubt he can afford my rate of 6 in major cities, so what's the point? If you know you might not be able ot make it, don't freaking book! Him saying he won't pay a deposit for fear of not being able to make it, says he is full of shit from the start about his plans. Guys book with Provider A. at 400 bucks, then see provider B. is coming to town at half that...then it's always the "I got called to work excuse."

Of course, in 4 years I have had to cancel less than 5 times and each time was made up with a discount or more time....how many times have guys paid a cancelation fee when they flaked? Hmm..yea.

You see, I am a professional and with that comes a head for finances, losses,  and risk vs. reward...I don't tend to get fked twice very often lol. We are not talking regular clients here so keep that in mind...I have no need to even worry about my regulars taking care of me if they cancel...they have always proven to be gentlemen in that respect. Some guy I don't know from Adam though? Yea right.

You miss the point that the deposit DOES guarantee a guy's time with me regardless of what "better offer" comes along...simple. If a guy books 90 min. and I have a deposit that he will show up, I am going to toss the overnight that may come in that same time. That's called integrity and a head for business. If a guy does NOTHING to assure me he is going to show up, sorry, I can do what I want to do.

-- Modified on 7/21/2012 11:33:10 AM

And if $100 is that big a deal to you, then you shouldn't be playing in the $500+ range.

Just sayin'...

http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?BoardID=33&SortBy=DateCreated%20desc&SearchType=1&Author=ziggy&DayFrom=360&DayTo=0&MessageID=100197&frmSearch=1#100197

I wouldn't mind being told the truth by an ATF that I'm actually friends with outside of our sessions. I would actually find it refreshing as well. However, I don't want to hear that from some lady I'm seeing for the first time.