Alright, heres the deal, I am the Newbie's Newbie. I have had sex with one woman in my life and I married her 34 years ago. I have to find out what I may have missed; ie is the grass greener? So I am going to San Diego in the Summer and found a gal who is highly rated on this site.
There is no doubt I am going to meet up with her and I don't really care what she charges. I am not stupid rich, but this may be my only time so I want the best. I have two real questions, one will sound so silly in its simplicity.
1) I have NEVER used a condom because I married the first gal. What should I look for in a condom. Specifics will be greatly appreciated. I know she requires it and even if she didn't, I do.
2) The gal is coming to my hotel room. What can I do to intensify the experience? I want her to enjoy it as much as me. I know I will be sitting on my bed shaking with excitement. I will probably pop just at the site of her. I need all of the help and advice you can give. Input from the Pro's will be most welcomed. In fact, if you are from SD, I will appreciate any other suggestions on women. I think the one I have is what I want.
That is for her protection. On rare occasions a provider will forget hers, so do feel free to have some. Everyone has their own favorite, but be sure it is a latex and certainly not a natural lambskin one. You might even want to practice opening up the package and putting it on yourself. It's pretty easy.
As for #2: The best way to impress her, other than by having the donation ready in accordance with any instructions she has on her site (Have you read it carefully twice or thrice?) is to be as clean as a whistle.
Body and breath stink is the biggest turn off there is to gals, and they repeat this over and over so: Shower, scrub (especially where the sun don't shine), a little deoderant and even less cologne (if you must). Shampoo and shave as well. Gals hate getting stubble burn. Wear nice clean clothes and nice shoes (not sneakers).
If you want to share a bottle of wine, be sure it is uncorked when she meets you.
Other than that, be witty and charming and you'll be considered a regular angel.
Having the wine open is not a good idea. How does she know it's not tainted? Most girls will not accept a drink unless they see it opened right in front of them.
Swim
Doesn't "cork" mean to remove the cork?
Sort of like when you order a chicken that is dressed, that means it has the feathers removed, but when you order an undressed chicken, the feathers are still on it.
Sometimes this language drives me to distraction.
How can flamable and inflamable both mean the same thing?
If you REALLY want to impress your lady friend, you will show her your sword and proceed with a "Champagne Sabrage" (video link below)
On second thought... this really isn't a good idea for a Newbie. The slightest slip could really ruin the evening. The video explains it all.
A Votre Sante!
-- Modified on 1/30/2009 9:20:56 PM
Lets start with the basics: I hope you are using a secure e-mail address that only you have access to. A hobby phone (cheap prepaid) is a good idea so as to not leave traces on your regular phone.
I always carry spare condoms... cheap insurance. Make sure the packages are sealed, stored properly & fresh date. I've never ruined one but it can happen... NOT the time to run to the drug store with the clock running.
By all means, let her put in on you... she's more practiced that you. If she uses yours, she'll want to check that the package is undamaged. (I prefer thin poly condoms, I place them on the night table without comment, but these are my Fav ladies so that is a consideration. I've never had a lady question them.)
For am extended visit a snack can be nice... even crackers & cheese.
I usually bring a candle or 2...
I'm sure Mr Fisher meant to say to leave any beverage sealed until she arrives.
One thought, since this will be outcall to your room... dispose of any debris somewhere other than the room trash. Those who travel on business know to put extras out of sight lest some colleague inocently show up at your room & see things they should not see.
Happy hobbying,
skb
This experience will be the day before a fishing trip, so I will be alone. Back to the condoms, I will definitely take some of my own, just in case. I am overwhelmed by the selection, ribbed, more sensitivity, less sensitivity, spermicidal, etc... I will probably opt for the ones that are less sensitive simply to make the experience last longer. I worry that I will cream in my jeans just to see her.
No spermicide, desensitizing lubed or ribbs, they can irritate the womans body and they taste horrible. If you are over 6" or have significant girth, consider XL. If the head is significantly larger than your girth, I recommend Inspirals. Otherwise, a a simple standard condom without any bells or whistles is good. And, she'll likely have something on hand for you... you may not even need it.
: )
Have fun!
Jon, Mr.Fisher tells you straight but we've all been where you are. So here are some really good tips!
Click on the Acronyms,and newbies' Manual at the top of this page. Then scroll down and read everything but if you have to pick just two then click on "Newbie Tips" and then "Getting ready for your appointment". Both are very well written and are easy to understand.
The other big tip I can give you is don't forget to breathe. I would tell you to try and relax but hey...I still get excited my first time with a new provider!!
If you have already set this meet up with your provider then do like I did. When you arrive tell the nice lady this is your first experience in the hobby and for her to treat you with kid gloves. My first treated me so good that I still go see her from time to time as she was so nice to me and wanted me wanting more.
Good luck and let us all know how it went and make sure and write a review....DB8
As mentioned, a couple of candles are always a nice touch. I also like to have a snack ready to share. I usually opt for some cut fruit and non-alcoholic wine. After a little over three years, I still get nervous as hell when I'm about to meet a new friend. These ladies are terrific, and can relax you in no time. Make sure she knows that you are a rookie.
Now for another suggestion for a lady. I've only seen one lady in San Diego, and I'll never forget her. Her name is Bliss, and you can read my review of her. If memory serves me correctly, she prides herself in being great with newbies.
Good luck and have a great time.
Wow, its like looking in a mirror. Sounds just like me 6 weeks ago.
One thing the other guys haven't touched on is that you seem to be thinking this may be a one time thing. So did I when I started and now I've seen 3 ladies in 6 weeks and am itching to see more. This "hobby" is like crack cocaine, incredibly addicting and very expensive.
If you have VIP, PM me if you'd like a more personal insight into being a newbie. If you don't have VIP, you should spend the $20 and get it now. You need to read the full reviews so you know what you are getting yourself into. Good luck, remember to breathe and have fun.
Jon54: I have to dissent from my brothers on the condom issue. Yes, you need a condom ( hopefully more than one) but your provider should have them. My advice to hobbyists with an SO back home: Don't buy or carry condoms. They are the 'smoking gun' of the hobby.
The only time my SO ever caught me hobbying is when I left a condom in my pants pocket. I've also accidentally left them in my coat pocket, in my car, etc. If your wife sees a torn condom wrapper ANYWHERE, you-are-sunk. She may not even see the condom--she may see a receipt that has "TROJAN 3 PACK" on it.
I say 'NO', married man, do not buy or carry condoms. The only condoms you should ever have are those you use with your SO. And she will count them & check if any are missing. If your provider doesn't have any, I wonder if you should ever see her again--she is the professional, not you. --z
-- Modified on 1/31/2009 2:01:35 PM
Zangari, excellent point. This happened to me years ago. My friend was getting married and I brought condoms to his bachelor party, it was the first real bachelor party I'd ever attended with real girls and everything. So I got rip roaring drunk and I don't know what happened but I do know my wife found condoms in my coat pocket. I first made a lame excuse that they were for my friend, just in case. But then I pointed out that they were still wrapped, it would be worse if I brought home empty wrappers or even an empty pocket where condoms had been. After all I told her, I knew I'd be drunk and I knew there'd be strippers and I know I'm a guy. I was just thinking ahead. This seemed to suffice, although I imagine it would not do for most men's wives. Mine is pretty cool. BTW we did not need the condoms that night, we were young and stupid and thought the strippers would just have sex with us for fun. When we found out they wanted $250 each we settled for just watching.
Peace,
Astucious
Guys, sorry, I got so caught up in my story I forgot to make the following point.
Yes, Zangari makes an excellent point that it's risky to carry condoms around if you're married or have a SO. But it's even more risky to have unprotected sex. Is your wife going to be more angry with you for carrying condoms or giving her H.I.V. ?
So here's a solution. Buy condoms on the way to see the provider, throw them away on the way home. This might sound like a waste of money. But in the heat of the moment most guys are thinking with the wrong head and are likely to go uncovered. It's like the drunk who thinks he's OK to drive. Compared to the money you're spending on the provider, having insurance condoms is cheap.
Just an idea...
Astucious
you can take some scotch tape and make the condoms, still in the wrappers, into a necklace, and wear it around the house...
99% chance she won't even notice.
But seriously, not a bad idea, to buy them and dump them...
But never ever show up without them. Too many reasons to list. Bring your own.
to have a bottle of red wine if she likes white wine or prefers a soft drink. As Swim said, do not open the beverage until the lady arrives.