I am a newbie !! Trying to resolve the mystry how would I get the reference first time, Can someone help

You should enter the word "referral" into the search engine and you'll have days of reading.

The executive summary is thus:

Join a screening service such as P411, Datecheck, or (in Chicago) Roomservice.

And/or seek out newbie friendly providers.

a TER member, ask her if she would give you a whitelist referral, and if she would agree to give you references to other ladies.  If you are unable to do that, do as mrfisher said, check into the verification sites.  You will likely have to give up some personal info, but it's worth it as opposed to giving it out to several different providers until you get a sufficient number of ladies who will reference you.