because you don't have any references to ensure you are safe to see, much less out of state.   It's much safer for us meet at our incall.  If it's such a short distance, then why can you not take the train?  Really, You could be someone very scary.  She's already taking a chance seeing you.   Let's pretend, you have a little sister (over 18), and she meets someone over the internet and is going on a blind date with them in the next state.  He's not a cop, he has a great job that she's already verified, he's not on a sex offender list.   Maybe he just hasn't got caught, yet.  Remember Ted Bundy?  I think she's already given you a HUGE allowance by seeing you without references.  It's very clear, that you have read this board and done your research, so you know how to verify that she is legit and probably 99.999% not LE.  

I think, sometimes in the excitement of all this being new, that you lost sight as to how to be a gentleman and worry about the dangers, the ladies possibly face.  You have the upper hand, here.  Please, be gentleman and put her safety first.


Keep safe and have fun everyone,
Laina

What don't you understand? While she does outcall, she doesn't want to do outcall with you. That's her preference, pretty simple to understand. Why should you be nervous if she has good reviews. Did you check to see who wrote the reviews? Are they veteran hobbyists? If you don't  think there's much risk, than go into the city and meet her in a public place near her.

I'll give you a little advice,  until you walk in the door of her incall, or the esorts knocks on your door, the escort calls all the shots. Screening, references, her preference for communications,  2 call system, whatever, she's in charge. That's the way this works, there is no discussion, now once you're together, it's a different story.
Good luck

"chat and meet up..."

Let's just say this lovely generous lady, does meet up with you.  And for some reason, after traveling alone on train at night in the city, you don't find her attractive or maybe you just "don't click"?  Will you still pay for her travel expense and compensate her for her time?  The provider is a paid for her time.  It sounds like the more I read this, that you want a free date?  


This isn't match.com,
Laina

Travel time to NJ is a hassle. I outcall to NYC from NJ all the time. Even though I only live 9 miles from Manhattan it sometimes takes me one hour or more to get there. Trains are a hassle, too. Drivers sometimes aren't worth it. Maybe she doesn't have a car?  Especially for a one hour date. Go see her. If she is well reviewed she will be worth it.

I can understand a person not wanting to go to NJ.  No Offense to you, but I lived in NJ for several years and could not wait to leave.  The people are rude, traffic is terrible, it stinks, and my in-laws live there.  Enough said!

Did you offer to pay extra for her additional travel time? Her train ticket? Cab fare from the train station to your place?

Out call generally means within a given area.  Many provider ads state additional fees for extended travel. The kind of appointment you are talking about could take up to three or four hours to complete.  How much time are you actually booking? An hour?  You are asking the lady to take three or four times the time out of her day that you are compensating her for...

Most providers do not meet for a "chat"...  That means getting hair & makeup, dressing, travel, all of which is time out of her business day...  and you don't even want to commit to a hour compensated time?!  
Have you read the self help section and read back on this board...  YOU need to get eductated first.  THEN, part of your research should be to check her reviews.  Yes, you need VIP.  Often the first few minutes of a compensated hour is a brief chat...  You can leave at any time.  But if she reserves her time for you, she deserves the donation.  No refunds.  Risky?  Not really if you have done your homework.
Really, you should find some local talent in your area who offer incall.  Have a few meetings.  If you have this girl on your "bucket list" you'll travel to her area & figure it out from there.
H

The provider is asking for a choice that makes economic sense to her. If she has legit reviews, her incall  should be safe. Just exercise discretion and good common sense when you go to the incall, she likely does not want to go to jail any more than you do.