QUESTION 1: Okay, I understand providers have lives, so if one doesn't get back to me after a couple voicemails over a couple days, should I back off and try again in another week or two? Or should I be persistent (always pleasant, of course) and leave one voicemail daily for several days in a row. Possibly mixing in an email or two, as well. I don't want to be too passive in case there are other guys out there who are getting her to call back because they were more persistent. But the worst case scenario for me would be to turn her off on me altogether, because I absolutely must see this girl, she's that unbelievably hot!
QUESTION 2: Oh, and WHAT should I be saying in the voicemails? I've kept it simple and brief, like "Hey Jane, my name is John. I'd love to get together with you, so please call me when you get a chance so we can discuss the details of possibly setting something up. My number is 867-5309. Thanks, talk soon.". Should I be leaving more info. on the voicemail, like "I saw your ad on the TER regional board", and/or "I'd like to set up an incall for Thursday at 8 p.m. if that's available for you".
By the way, I'm talking about a provider that I've never had any contact with whatsoever in the past. But, while she is highly reviewed on TER and other sites, many hobbyists have commented in their reviews that she was hard to get a hold of. They still scored her super high, but they obviously felt it was noteworthy to mention that she ain't easy to reach.
Your advice is welcomed.
Regarding Question 1 (First contact): I never call a provider that I haven't met--text or e-mail is best for first contact. You've called this provider several times, left voicemails & she hasn't replied. It sounds like she's quite busy with her existing client list. Send her a text or an e-mail to book in advance. You need to outbid her existing clients: offer to book for 90 minutes, & you'll get the room. Let her know you're flexible on date/time.
Regarding Question 2: (What to say): Again, text or e-mail is best here, and it helps if you're a member of a screening service. Try this:
"Hi Jane, this is John. I'm a P411 member with 10 provider oks. I'd like to meet this week. I'll book for 90 minutes & I can get a room somewhere convenient for you. If you have a cancellation this week, I can see you on short notice. Hope to see you soon."
You've done several things here: 1) offered screening info 2) outbid most of her clients and 3) offered her an option if an existing client cancels. Once you get appt #1, the next appt will be a lot easier. I hope that helps. --z
who prefer phone contact), give her a call back time-frame. "Darling, you can reach me until 6 pm tonight. Otherwise, I'll have to call you back tomorrow when I get some alone time." Ladies don't like to make blind return calls to someone they don't know.
I'd agree with the "e-mail over phone call" unless she specifically sytates she prefers calls. Some providers have lives with lots of time demands and if you allow her to reply via e-mail at whatever time she can it increases your odds she'll reply.
Also, adding a little personal info (not name, credit card and social but age, interests, personality) generally helps. Most importantly it personalizes you and also cuts down on finding out last minute "I don't see red headed men with tattoos on their noses". It it isn't going to work I prefer to find out right away.
And if she wants screening info/refs you can give them up front which is another thingthat speeds replies and moves you closer to the head of the list.
you state a specific time for the appointment. You can also leave alternate times, or state any manner of flexibility, but gals get much more interested when they hear a specific time and date brought up. It makes it much more real than some fishing expedition.
Too many attempts at contact may scare her off. Think stalker....... If she is not returning your calls, she may well be very busy, if she is as hot as you indicate.
You do need to let her know a time frame that she can use to call you back. Most gals will not return calls without knowing when it's safe to call you. They do not know if you are married, at work...etc. Your first message seems to me to be sufficient, but include a potential meeting time and day as well. I would not mention a site like TER, until you actually speak with her.
My personal preference is to have first contact by email rather than phone. If a provider wants a phone call first, unless I REALLY want to see her, I will usually pass. But that's just me.
Swim
I am assured phone calls are more accurate!
You do need to let her know a time frame that she can use to call you back. Most gals will not return calls without knowing when it's safe to call you. They do not know if you are married, at work...etc. Your first message seems to me to be sufficient, but include a potential meeting time and day as well. I would not mention a site like TER, until you actually speak with her.
My personal preference is to have first contact by email rather than phone. If a provider wants a phone call first, unless I REALLY want to see her, I will usually pass. But that's just me.
Swim
I'm a newb without reviews or references, so I figured if I can get her on the phone, I can make her feel more comfortable about me. I'm afraid that if our correspondence is only through email, that she'll turn me down. I don't know, maybe she's newbie-friendly. But in case she's not, I'm afraid to ask via email, because it would never allow me to put her at ease with a chat on the phone. (For the record, I do not belong to P411 or any similar service, and I'm not sure I want to. But I will gladly give her my work contact information to verify me.)
So can you see why I preferred calling?
I don't know that a phone call would be inherently more likely to get you a positive reply.
If in your e-mail you stated your situation and said "I'll gladly provide you my work contact info" it would probably be received the same way as offering it over the phone, I don't know.
Not trying to talk you into using e-mail if the phone route works for you, but if you find the phone doesn't then you may want to think about putting the same kind of words in the e-mail. You can also ask in the e-mail if a phone chat would help ease her mind.
Either way, good luck.
and most likely see that she either is or isn't "newbie friendly." Don't make this game any harder than it needs to be.
"she was willing to see me as new hobbyist without any reviews. She did ask for some personal information as part of her screening." And, similar language doesn't appear on her web site?
Then, you might need to move on.
Then, you might need to move on.
you have already moved beyond interested client to potential stalker with all those phone messages. So now you are not only trying to overcome her inaccessibility and your lack of a references and a screening track record, but also your track record as a guy who just might be too intense.
Assuming she has a web site, it probably is pretty clear there on how she wants to be contacted. Did it say to call her? Among other things, you need to follow her rules. She put them in place because they work for her, so starting out trying to do it your way and not following her rules is a problem and may be the exact reason why she is ignoring you.
For me, I start with one email offering an explanation of the situation (for me, that means with my screening info because I signed up for P411 first time), a brief introduction, and some idea of where and when I want to meet, plus how flexible I can be. If I have not heard back in a week, I usually move on, but one or two times I have sent a followup email asking whether she might have missed my first email. Polite, slightly apologetic for bothering her again, and that has worked okay when I did it. But mostly I figure that if she does not reply, it is not meant to be, and there are lots and lots of other options.
There is no guarantee that she is currently working, or that she is accepting any new clients, so you may be getting your shorts in a twist when it has nothing at all to do with you. Or she may have a new phone number and is only rarely checking the one you are calling. There are lots of reasons for not calling you back, most of which have nothing to do with you at all, so if you want to see someone, try someone else. On the other hand, if you want to fixate on this woman and no one else will do, well it is possible you may really have the makings of a stalker.
Assuming she has a web site, it probably is pretty clear there on how she wants to be contacted. Did it say to call her? Among other things, you need to follow her rules. She put them in place because they work for her, so starting out trying to do it your way and not following her rules is a problem and may be the exact reason why she is ignoring you.
For me, I start with one email offering an explanation of the situation (for me, that means with my screening info because I signed up for P411 first time), a brief introduction, and some idea of where and when I want to meet, plus how flexible I can be. If I have not heard back in a week, I usually move on, but one or two times I have sent a followup email asking whether she might have missed my first email. Polite, slightly apologetic for bothering her again, and that has worked okay when I did it. But mostly I figure that if she does not reply, it is not meant to be, and there are lots and lots of other options.
There is no guarantee that she is currently working, or that she is accepting any new clients, so you may be getting your shorts in a twist when it has nothing at all to do with you. Or she may have a new phone number and is only rarely checking the one you are calling. There are lots of reasons for not calling you back, most of which have nothing to do with you at all, so if you want to see someone, try someone else. On the other hand, if you want to fixate on this woman and no one else will do, well it is possible you may really have the makings of a stalker.
And please don't put words in my mouth. I never said I'd only see her and no other provider. I said she is the one I want to see more than any other. She's my 'Plan A', if you will. I'm just trying to figure out the best approach to arrange a session with her. If it doesn't work out, I'll happily go to my 'Plan B' provider, and then try contacting Plan A next month.
ps~don't forget something else i mentioned in my OP. numerous hobbyists who reviewed her said they had a hard time getting a hold of her. yet they persisted, and it paid off. true, they may not've been carrying my burden of being review-less, but nevertheless it appears the provider does not get turned off too easily from persistent follow-up.
But why does that mean I should move on? I'd like you to answer that question, but the truth of the matter is, I will not move on.
Try this:
1. Join a screening service
2. don't lock in on one girl
3. If someone ignores your appt request, move on.
Everyone on this board has had to move on, and it happens on a regular basis. We don't always get to see who we want to see, and things don't always work out with the providers we do see. I recently had to dump my ATF--a beautiful provider who spent a lot of off-the-clock time with me. 'Moving on' in this case was much more painful than anything you're going though now. It's something you'll eventually learn, obviously the hard way. Take care, --z