I've been reading these forums for six weeks and I really got interested in being a provider. Seems like a girl can live pretty high if she knows what she's doing. Better than I do working at the auto plant anyway.

The thing is I don't know how many of the women here do regular dates besides their paid dates. I don't have a guy right now but if I found one I'd like to keep him as a boy friend and not a customer. Is that possible? I mean let's say a guy comes to me to pay and he's really hot and I like him. Is it okay to ask him on a date and see if he would want to be a boyriend and not a customer? He wouldn't have to pay but he could help with some of the bills if he was staying at my apartment a lot. I can't buy food for two of us all the time.

I read about the women here having it shoved up their butts and that's not something I like to do. If a guy wants to pay me I guess I'd do it. With a boy friend I could just say no. If he still wanted to I could just tell him he has to pay for it just like everybody else. If he wanted strange stuff all the time I could just tell hm that he's going to have to be a paying cusotmer again.

So do any of you providers here have customers you turned into boy friends and did it work? Any advice to me?

Personally, I wouldn't. If I really liked a client and wanted to spend more time with him, I'd offer him free overnights after a date or more hours for free.

I know a lot of providers do have personal sex, but I'm not one of them. I completely rely on my clients to satisfy my personal sexual desires. What would make you want to turn one into a boyfriend?  

Very few provider/client relationships work out, in the long run. Maybe 0.00009%  

IMO, this is not a good place to look for a boyfriend. Many of your clients will be married. And they are paying for SEX...NSA sex. They generally avoid entanglements. But if they don't...in my experience, they want to hang out with YOU (the real you) during the day, and then they want the escort in bed. They don't want you in bed. They want the escort. Meaning, the one who likes anal...they want HER. They're basically using you for free sex. But not just any sex. They want you to perform. As if they were paying. Sorry.  

I dated two clients. I was never looking for a bf...I just found two guys I liked, and we mutually decided to date....I don't regret it, because it was a learning experience. And the second was a nice guy with whom I'm still in touch (not dating). But knowing what I know now, I would not do the same things.  

If you do anal with a client you date for money...he's going to want it. If you make him pay for it...then he is still a client. Just one with an unusual arrangement. You can't have your cake and eat it too. But, neither can he. If he is dating YOU...if he's not paying...he gets the real YOU (whether you like anal, or not), and if he doesn't want the real you, then he's not worth your time unless he's carrying a big fat envelope full of cash

Tell me that's not your age ...thanks ...

Hun a boyfriend and this and your new , no don't do it.

I agree with Stina. I would rather have my pleasures filled on the job only. When I decide to date in my personal life more in likely I will not be doing this. Just my preference and it also cuts the bs. I also think being normal sometimes sucks...lol!!

and don't let any ageist remarks hold you back if you think you've got what it takes.  Lots of guys on here, myself included, like to see mature women who still rock and roll. (If indeed the 54 is your age, which it may well not be.)

As for dating a client, it's something that can complicate your life and business, but sometimes it is worth it.

I dated a provider I met 9 years ago and now we're married, though live in different cities.  She also retired a few years ago.

Give all the good advice you've been given some thought.

Guys wanna she a working girl as his main GF is a tuff one.What happens is a guy takes a girl out its free sex etc everyone is having a good time THEN all of a sudden the guy starts falling for this chick now your girl comes home and you know she has been fucking strange guys all day and your going start asking her if she liked anyone she fucked blah blah blah.Fights are going to happen and it's going to be very hard to trust a girl that has sex for a living.Trust me I have done 4 times and every time the girls will lie to you (because they dont wanna hurt your feeling) about who they fuck.They don't look at it as sex they look at it as cash.

You don't have to do anything you don't WANT to do.

There is a word called "LIMITS".
Sometimes referred to as hard limits-
Like me? No greek, no bbfs. (No anal, no bare-back full service.) Those are MY LIMITS.
I set those.
If a guy doesn't like it, he's more than welcome to find a lady who shares his desires,
there are plenty who do so & can better cater to his needs.
No animosity, no hatefulness, purely professional, "I'm sorry, Sir, that isn't available." will suffice.

Don't ever feel like you HAVE to do anything you don't want. That's CRAP and it is a lie some more aggressive ungentlemanly one's will try. Never be that weak-minded. Never ALLOW yourself to be victimized.
This can be empowering, or it can drag you down paths you wouldn't normally go, if you let it.
Know yourself, stand up for yourself.
Never be afraid to say, "No."
But if you DO want to try it & feel comfortable... Feel free.
Just make sure you can halfway trust him to go THERE, cause I wouldn't expect Mr. Client, who is paying, to have much mercy on his fuck toy's ass. Just sayin!

Once the client and provider crosses beyond a business relationship and the client gets the title of "boyfriend", it hasn't been possible for me to go back to being a paying client.  Not sure how that could work, expecting a boyfriend to pay up for greek. Personally, if I know she's not up for it, it wouldn't make me feel any better or for that matter make the act enjoyable if I'm  paying her to get that service.  

Such cases exists though if you search the boards you'll find cases where a couple breaks up and they agreed on going back to client/provider relationship. In my case it hasn't happened.  

Quite a number of providers do find real boyfriends (who don't pay them) as well as fake boyfriends (as an sugar daddy who pay them) through this business. I'd guesstimate that just based on the sheer number of men that providers get to meet on an intimate level, on avg finding a boyfriend would be a whole lot faster, efficient, and easier for the girl (compared to a guy trying to find a girl).  

I do feel if you find the right one it can work out because: Men are men first, mongers second. Women are women first, providers second.  

But it depends on how you define 'work out'. If you mean, dating til marriage, that seems to be rare. If you mean, dating for a few years, that's very possible.  It's your life, you're the boss, and you're pretty much in control til you let someone take that away. I feel you should do what you want to do, make your own mistakes, learn from them, and hopefully you'll find Mr.Right along the way.

never compromise your screening methods. Yes, you need to screen your clients so that you remain safe from the wackos and crazies that are out there.  Also, don't lower your rates just to see John since (a) he sounds sexy or (b) is a guy with lots of reviews and promises you a good review for a freebie, or (c) any other BS line some horndog would use.

Good luck to you.

I am NOT saying that you can't have it but you certainly don't have it yet. I say this in the most respectful way because being a provider is not easy for just anyone to pick up and do it. Some important qualities to have and balancing this type of life is self respect, respect for others, intuition, good sex drive, intelligence, very strong backbone, business sense, and so on .... I'm sure others can add to this list. My best advice for you would be to talk to well established providers and find a mentor if you haven't already done that.  

To answer your question more directly: yes many providers have relationships outside of work as well as date former clients ... Some of them are even married.  

Take one step at a time and focus on the business first if this is what you want to do. When you are sure you are emotionally stable enough to handle a relationship and be a provider take baby steps because it is a different type of world here. As far as dating any client I would suggest that you keep the lines drawn between client and boyfriend until then. Plus if do things right and become a successful provider you will not need help with the groceries or the bills.

-- Modified on 4/1/2014 8:13:56 AM

Thank you all for the replies. Guess I need to think more about this.  

Maybe I just do like you said a find a provider to give me some tips and don't think about having a boy friend right now.

Meanwhile I think I'll go to the bar tonight and see what I can pick up.

END OF MESSAGE

Definitely, Mopsie a provider is usually a woman first before she is provider.  Notice that when she interacts with her customers she is usually friendly and cordial with them and usually make sure that they are having a good time. They also have extremely good social skills and are proficient in being engaging. So it is contingent for a provider to be first and formost a woman before she becomes a provider which would be the commercial concomitant of her existence.

Are you talking about going to the bar to hook? Please tell me you're not going to do that. Screening is so important. Just because he's in a suit and tie doesn't make him a gentleman; he could be a wolf in sheep's clothing.

It sounds to me like maybe you should focus on finding a boyfriend.
i don't mean that in a negative way, it's just a gut reaction to what you've said.
I think Bri has laid out things for you to really consider.
Please do so - as you don't want to rush into something like this and then regret it.