Newbie - FAQ
I think I was a little to soft for my first time. Think it was ok to be more feisty?
Well I had my first experience with a provider back in Nov and I think I was little to soft. It was a 1 hour session.
I was given a nice massage at the start, but I wanted to get to the action sooner. The massage lasted about 10 minutes. You guys think it would have been ok to ask on getting with the action sooner?
How would I have ask anyways? Do I just say...
Can we start XXX?
All the positions we did was missionary(which I found out I do not like), and cow girl(which I did like). I wanted to try doggy style and reverse cow girl but did not want to ask out of not knowing what her reaction might be.
One thing about my session is I did not cum. I think I might have had some pre-cum though.
While I was getting a HJ near the end I asked the lady if she could give me a BJ instead. I asked because the HJ was not working. The lady said that she could not because my penis was covered in lube already. I just said ok, and smiled, and she continued to no completion.
So how do I know when I could do what? Like I want to take more control, and be more fun, but I am worried about the providers comfort ability.
I am planning to meet with another provider soon, but this has been on my mind since.
It looks like you picked a good, well reviewed lady. The first time with a new lady can be a little tentative for any of us much less for a newbie. She has four pages of great reviews so I'm sure that doggie and RCG are probably on her menu. Just ask, the worst thing she can say is no and I doubt she will.
As you grow more confident you will gradually learn what you like and how to ask for it. Generally, if a provider is giving you a hand job it means the end of the session is near and you have not cum yet. She is just trying to get you off at that point by whatever means will work. Sometimes a hand job is all that will.
The key is to always be respectful and courteous no matter what you are asking for. Stick with well reviewed ladies and your confidence will improve as you have more experiences.
I also thought that I could just sit back and let the professional run the show and have a great time. I also chose a well-reviewed provider and had about the same disappointing session. She was very nice to me and I didn’t write a review out of respect for her. I have found that many providers tend to go slow with newbies and, since I need a lot of stimulation to get off, that doesn’t work for me.
First time around with a provider makes it difficult to adequately communicate your desires before the session or even at the very beginning of the session without setting off LE vibes. I find that it works much better for me to take the initiative, usually nonverbally at first and then after we have warmed-up I can communicate verbally as well. These ladies may be skilled professionals, but they aren’t very good mind readers. You know your own body and mental processes better than they ever will.
The negative to you running the show is that you may miss some of her specialties and you may fail to stimulate her as much as you could, which usually means less fun for each of you.
I NEVER understand guys that go to massage girls (AMPs), or get massages at sessions. A session should be about SEX (fucking/sucking/licking etc). Have something SEXUAL happening for the WHOLE SESSION!!! You tell HER what you want. If you hate mish, don't do it, and don't take NO for an answer. YOU are the customer! If you act like a mamby pamby, you will always be disappointed!
Have some balls, and be assertive! Merry Christmas!
-- Modified on 12/23/2008 5:53:31 AM
You mention that it was your first, and you have one review, so I'm going to connect the dots and assume that these comments relate to the lady reviewed.
If so, how did she end up with a 9/9 review score? While I firmly believe that a lady should not be penalized for your lack of performance, it seems that what you just described wouldn't be classified as a "9" in performance.
As you go forward, you'll get to the point where you complain that newbies habitually are overly generous in their scores. I guess that's what I'm doing, but I'm not trying to bag on you. (No, really lol). We've mostly all been guilty of it, but when we recommend that you look at the reviews, it's important that they represent the situation as it happened.
So, in general, I think that letting the lady work her routine is fine, there's nothing wrong with asking her for something you prefer. Then, when you write it down for all of us, please be honest.
Happy holidays...
Little phil is saying you shouldn't have given 9's but not being a so called "newbie" but not someone that has had 35 reviews to share with eveyone, I don't feel like his review is unwarrented. What does he have to go by? She was his first and he (just like the rest of us 1st time) was just happy to get this first one under his belt. He shouldn't give her a bad score just because on his reflection she should have somehow known what he wanted.
Giving the lady 9's I think is very fair since she was willing to give him a chance with her as his first time. That should raise her score easily a couple of points.
Just my opinion as been there and done that!
Duckbill8, that is exactly why I gave her that score. Nothing was wrong with her. In fact I enjoyed the session a a lot, so why would I want to give her a lower score?
She was inviting, and the mood was really comfortable.
duckbill8, you got it right on the money as to why I gave her a good score.
PS: She did have wipes nearby. She did also use the wipes a couple of times too.
-- Modified on 12/23/2008 2:29:43 PM
Not to beat a dead horse, but if it was a 9/9 event, then what's the problem?
I still see a disconnect.
There is no problem. The question was pertaining to what actions are limited in a session, and if I should have "taken charge" more in the session. I merely provided examples in the sessions in order to put it into context, that way I could get better help.
It was a 9/9 event because it was a great experience. I smiled for 4 days after that session.
Now compared to if I had 10 sessions, I do not know what the score would be. It could be less, it could be more. It would have to be based on my experience. Now say if my next sessions was worse then my first one, then that score would be lower. I could now base my score on what my other experiences were like.
I hope this is the end of this "scoring" discussion because it is not the original topic.
"Hey you sweet thang, come to pappa and (insert desired position here)". Most well reviewed providers will instantly recognize (insert desired position here) and will be happy to oblige.
any aversion to giving you oral could have been mitigated with a warm wet wash cloth.
A BJ is a staple of any good session. I'm surprised she didn't try to accomodate you.
Just for the record. I did get a BBJ during the session. It was actually my favorite part of the session, the 69 =)!
But during that HJ, when I asked for a BJ, she said that it was full of lube. She did have Kleenix nearby but there was alot of lube =P.
Drop, you need to screen your ladies more, particularly for your first experience. WTF, why didn't she just wipe the lube off with a wipe? Haven't been hobbying with any lady that didn't have a good supply of wipes near. By more intense screening, your experience would have been much more enjoyable unless it was first timer nerves that prevented your completion. Now that that one is over it shouldn't be a problem if the lady is what you are actually looking for.
Hey guys,
Sometimes we ladies need to warm up as well - especially with a first time client. A ten minute massage may have been the above mentioned provider's way of familiarizing herself with her client's body, learning where his sensitive areas and erogenous zones were, and trying to turn him on while establishing a comfort level and rapport.
Keep in mind that a 10 min massage, while not strictly sexual (as noted by the chap above who said "something sexual" needs to be going on the entire session, lol), it is very sensual.
I won't even bother with the whole "we are not machines" spiel as I know you fellows are aware of the fact.
BTW, I've got a huge knot in my shoulder and wish I could schedule a massage today - but stuck at computer at work. Maybe I'm a wee bit jealous!
Yes that is what I thought too about the massage. It was a nice massage but I felt that we could have done other stuff to get more acquainted. Maybe something like rubbing and cuddling? My fault for not saying something though.
As for the user asking if she had wipes. Yes, she did have wipes.
For understandable reasons, many providers are not so comfortable with virgins, or with very young hobbyists in general. Next time, you'll probably do better if you are very upfront about your age and lack of sexual experience. That way a provider can prepare for you going in.
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