Newbie here, 3 under my belt.

I feel so bad about it, it's never happened before, and I can't understand why.  

I've had sexual relations with many different women, some I really didn't want to do it with due to looks/smells, but did it anyway because I don't like to hurt feelings and i've always been able to perform.

Just recently, I met up with a new provider (she implied it's her first time with a client) . When I first saw her, she was stunning, her pictures don't do her justice. After chatting a bit in public, we went to her apartment where we talked a bit more, I was very nervous. Maybe this is my first GFE and I just don't know any better, because the tension was through the roof, exhilarating really.  As I talked to her, I found out her limits and as soon as I knew she was cool with DFK and DATY, I pretty much moved in because that's all I could think about when I saw her. We went to her bedroom, she got comfortable and came out in something very sexy. I don't want to turn this into a review of sorts, but I just went crazy (mainly because her profile says to be open about fetishes lol) , I was afraid that I would scare her. I kissed, licked her delicious feet, legs, neck, mouth,breasts, ass, etc, etc.. on and on telling her how delicious she tasted. I told her I liked mild CBT, and had her knee me as she hovered over me kissing me, she asked if I was ok...I was so caught up in the moment that I told her something to the effect " even if I say it's not ok, do it anyway"  Basically I was giving her the ok to demolish my nuts if she so desired (that's where I was afraid I would scare her away) She didn't seem phased by this and maybe it was imagined but I think she even smiled, which turned me on beyond imagination....it would have been an honor (at least in my fantasy, reality is I might feel differently if I have to have one surgically removed LOL)

I was so into it that I went over my 1.5 hrs, it literally felt like 15 minutes at most. I tried to do her from behind to finish twice, both times I couldn't not stay hard for the life of me. She tried her hardest to make me cum by BJ and HJ. Nothing would do it. I finally said, ok, i'll make it happen. I jerked my self, but nothing would happen.   The thing is, it was the best sexual experience i've had in my life, even though I didn't cum, I felt so satisfied and i've been in a haze ever since, all I can think about is booking a repeat session.  
 
I apologized a couple of times and reassured her it was the best experience of my life, but i'm sure it sounded like bull. I gave her extra cash for the overage and was on my way.    

Two questions:  

Providers: how would you feel in this situation? Is it common? Was I too crazy too fast? I literally would have extended the session for another couple of hours, but she told me she had to get to sleep.  

Hobbyists: Has that ever happened? Did I go too far too fast? What would you say went wrong? I'm 39 btw and like I said I've never had it not work, on the flip side, i've never felt so satisfied having not shot.  She wasn't excessively harsh with the berries, i've had a provider directly kick me and squish them with her heels before and I got incredibly hard and literally shot across the room.

Mainly I hope she doesn't feel any kind of way about this whole thing, in fact, I would love for her to humiliate me, mean girl style next time we meet, if she'll allow me to see her again. It's just that if she's a newbie, i'm afraid that she may be scarred by the experience.  Do you guys think i'm overthinking this whole thing?  Thanks for reading this!

You're kinda all over the place. What do you want to know most?

I have only finished 40% of the time (easy to calculate because I have been with 10 providers). One of those times I didn't have a good time at all. Another of those times I was with a beautiful wonderful young woman but the actual session wasn't spectacular - we did have a good conversation after. So only 20% of the time has a spectacular session ended with me finishing. It is not a necessary component for me.

In answer to your question, providers have much experience with this and I have been told it is common.

Your provider was new you said so she may not know. But definitely you should repeat.

I am not in it to finish - I've had that plenty irl. I am in it for new experiences. If I do finish it is icing on the wonderful cake of being with a great woman.

and you should have taken it easy on a new girl. You got to calm down and relax. Even I would have told you to calm down and I have been in the Hobby for quite a while. You sound like you were very assertive, by the way you described it.

Sometimes factors make it hard to finish. You being so eager and never seeing her before probably did you in. Some guys need a second appt to relax enough to let themselves go. Stress, traffic, performance anxiety... plenty of other reasons as well.

You said you had a good time, so book again. Take more time to relax and get comfortable. I guess maybe because of what you enjoy, it is hard to relax because you obviously like it pretty rough.

You had a great time but didn't book a long enough session. Next time book 2/3 hours and you'll be fine. Noticing the clock then trying to finish is what killed it for you. You don't seem like one who likes to rush. If 1.5 hours felt like 15 minutes just book longer next time. Not every provider is available to extend the date, most will if they have time. Other simply want it booked in advance for better scheduling. You're fine don't over think it.

There are so many variables that go into what makes for a successful sexual session, that it is often impossible to detail same after an exhaustive psychiatric session let alone your brief description above.

Take heart in the fact that you had a good time, and let it go at that.

The journey is often more satisfying than the destination.

I too have had sessions like that.  I wonder if it was mental, physical, or a spiritual difficulty but I don't let it shake me up.  We all have good days, and bad days.  Such is life.

I guess I never imagined the journey could be so delicious, but that's what i've been looking for. Here is my attempt at focused questions for those who asked, although, I feel they've been answered (but would be grateful if more people chimed in to get a sort of consensus).

1. is not being able to finish common?

2. would the provider feel bad about the situation, like maybe there was something wrong with her?

3. a. will a first time provider be freaked out by exploring somewhat weird fetishes on the first meet?
    b. with that in mind, did I seem too aggressive based on my description? (already answered, I have to add that I asked if what I was doing was ok every step of the way, and went slow)

4. How much time should I give between bookings considering the circumstances? Is there a dynamic I should be aware of much like dating where you should wait a while to not seem desperate/weird (weird I think that ship has sailed lol)

thank you everyone

-- Modified on 3/13/2017 8:33:00 AM

That's a big relief. Knowing this i'll make the journey the focus (as I did for most of my visit with this gorgeous woman)
My new approach would be to weave that fact into conversation to take the pressure off, do you think that's a good idea? I've been an open book to the providers I've seen thus far so the only surprises (if any) are good ones (I hope)

I'm not trying to get defensive, I need to explain the situation.

  I was going slow and asking every step of the way. My POV was that I wasn't aggressive, rather, I got too deep into my fantasies and maybe trying to fit them all in in one session (and maybe setting off alarms in her head like "if this is what he wants the first time around, what crazy *** will he want on the second meet"). Is this where you're coming from?  I see my post and I made it seemed like perhaps I pounced like a lion giving her no time to say anything lol. It was more like "can I kiss you here, (insert name here)?"  "can I lick you here?" " do you like this?" slow but deliberate (even though I asked the limits beforehand).  example: I love sucking nipples hard and biting a bit, I asked before we started if she was sensitive, she told me yes because of a piercing, and I completely stayed away from any of that to avoid any pain.  

Agreed, next time i'm doing minimum 2. It's really challenging for me to find big chunks of free time within her available time frames, but if I did have that luxury, I would book the 4 hour date she offers.

It's interesting for me, I thought I experienced everything within that spectrum of human emotion. Before this experience, I could have never imagined i'd be completely satisfied with a sexual encounter that didn't involve finishing. The only reason I feel any disappointment at all (thinking in terms of my honest feelings only) is that i'm "supposed to" feel this way, if that makes any sense, and I don't want my partner to feel anything but good about herself.  

 
That being said, i'm letting it go.  Now i'm mainly looking for guidance on how long to wait before asking if she'll see me again.

... to the provider!  Neither one of us could get to the finish line, not even with help from her box of toys.  Maybe because it was late at night, we were both too tired, or whatever.  But it was an dinner + overnight date and we had no trouble "performing" the next morning.  It was actually one of my favorite dates with a provider.  I'm pretty sure she had a good time also.

So don't worry about it.

END OF MESSAGE

...in my limited experience I can tell the provider anything.
Most are great listeners and it makes the session very rewarding.
Only a couple have listened but in the end we didn't click, and that's fine, we move one.
That's what great about this world.
I think eventually we find some providers we really respond to and repeat.
In fact I won't get much sleep tonight because I am repeating with my first all time favorite tomorrow evening and I am beyond excited. I didn't finish in my first session with her - or if I did it wasn't a big one. I fully expect to finish withing the first 10 minutes tomorrow (I think I put that in my last post too lol)

Yes definitely weave the finishing issues into the conversation. One time I didn't and the provider fully expected me to finish after about 30 seconds of a blow job.  I chuckled and told her she was in for about 90 minutes of a ride and maybe if we were both lucky I would finish. I didn't but I still had a great time with her.

I have since learned what will probably work for me and have started to ask for it.
Part of the journey is learning what will work. And I suppose that will change over time as it has in real life.

I hope you have a great time with your all time favorite tomorrow  I emailed mine today and i'm hoping she's open to meeting with me again. This time i'm approaching the situation with the explicit goal of NOT finishing, let's see what happens  

I love that I can come out and explain my fantasies in detail, knowing that it's probably going to happen without apparent judgement, strings attached, etc.  First hobby I have no regrets dumping cash into after the "cooling off period" lol

END OF MESSAGE

1. is not being able to finish common?  
   
Sure, it happens quite often but for a variety of reasons. We'd have to know more about the specifics and your background (medical issues, etc.)

I recently had a great 2 hour encounter with a lovely young woman who was hitting all the buttons just right. After her outstanding efforts, I still couldn't quite cross the finish line.

The reason? I'd packed a little too much activity into a weekend visit to the Big City (it's a long drive to see quality providers) and had worn myself out with a different provider on Sat. Thought I'd given myself enough recovery time but when my second session occurred on Sun AM, I had a great time -- just couldn't finish.

The bright side? I've booked a 24-hour date with the Sun lady in her city and we'll have plenty of time.  

So relax, give yourself a break and don't get in our own head about performance anxiety.

Yes, Mike, very common. We`re not pornstars, just regular guys bein' regular guys and there`s nothing wrong with that.

 Repeat after me, journey, journey, journey. Got that? At 71 I`ve been in the hobby for 6 months now and happier than I`ve been in many years. I`ve had 7 sessions with the same 2 wonderful 32 yo gfe girls and have not finished once. BFD, afterglow is terrific even without the pop. My oral and hand skills get them off and I love that I can give that. These true gfe dolls are well experienced with this and they don`t judge you or them selves, so don`t you judge either. If the pop  happens again, fine. If it doesn`t the journey is way better than the alternative. I`ll take it.

That's what I want for myself, I want to be able to enjoy this hobby for the rest of my life, pop or no pop. This woman has ruined massage parlors for me, they don't appeal to me anymore..All I can think of is experiencing that amazing GFE experience again and again.    

thank you for adding your experience to this thread Enjoy those generous women!