a picture from the lady before I start to negotiate if her picture on her review is blurry?

1.  Read her reviews before you do anything.

2.  Don't negotiate, ever.  If you don't want to pay her asking rate, look elsewhere.

3.  Don't ask her for a picture - if she has great reviews, then it's blurry for a reason (her privacy).  If she doesn't have great reviews, you don't want to see her, anyway.

4.  Ask other hobbyists that have reviewed her if she meets your physical requirements, if it's an issue for you.

Above all - never negotiate, if you ever find a lady willing to negotiate, move on!

Besides being uncool to negotiate, it's insulting and she will likely cease communication with you anyway.  If she sends her photo and you're not thrilled but you figure "I'll hit it anyway" what will you say, "Can we take off $50 because your nose is bigger than I'd like it to be"?  

If you're unsure, just don't do it.  Look until you find someone who you feel no qualms about paying the rate on her website.  

Kate

very good responses.

So many people think everything is negotiable.
It can be but on a give and take basis.

If you want someone to give, what are you going to give?

What would you do if your boss came into you and wanted to negotiate your hourly or salary wage lower for next week?
You'd EXPECT your boss to GIVE in order for you to give, right?

AND since it's December, YOU are EXPECTING a Christmas bonus right?

Now maybe if you "negotiated" that she give you a $50 discount WHEN you clean all her windows on her house, change the oil in her car and detail it or....

Get the idea?

RW

why do you say that, wildturkey?

i've been in contact w/a provider, who quoted me a price that was way over her listed price on the website.  when i pointed this out to her, she came down to even lower than the website price.

why is this a red flag?

really an insult from the get go... back to square one.  
1. NEVER negotiate
2. Pics posted as is for a reason... her personal preference

How would YOU feel if:
1.  She charged you more because you were hairy, just plain ugly, an obvious oaf etc.?
2.  She asked for your pic, then no response from her?

Yeah... I know this was all answered in above posts, but maybe the point will sink in.

the fact remains that some ladies do this as seen in the reply above.  If ladies universally said no to this tactic then the practice of guys trying to use it might wane to rare occassion.  But as long as some guys have a sense that this tactic might work (because they either had success with it or read from someone who had) then it is here to stay.

I'm probably going to ripped for this but..

I really don't get it when providers get over the top pissed about this subject.  If someone asks say 'No'.  Plain and simple.

     



-- Modified on 12/2/2006 11:25:50 AM

How about if her prices go up and you've been a sometime customer?  OK to ask if you're grandfathered?  What if you're a regular in good standing? I notice that when prices go up, some providers specify grandfathering, and some don't.

I think it's OK to ask if she grandfathers past clients.  Just as long as you ask tactfully, that is.  And only because it can be confusing since some specify and others do not.

If you are a regular in good standing and you ask to negotiate, I still think it's an insult.  What she hears is that now that you've met her, she's not worth the rate she asks.  In reality, when you meet someone great, instead of thinking she's not worth it you wonder how you got such a great deal!  

Kate

Because that's not negotiating.  That would be more like correcting a mistake, or honoring an old rate.

Negotiation is, "Gee 5's too much, and I'm good looking, so how 'bout 3?"

This is a business for a service. Negotiating is always appropriate.

If a provider says she won't negotiate she is lying.

Remember this is an illegal service, and neither party knows if the other is LE.  Emails or phone conversations "negotiating" can easily equate to self-incrimination.

I don't know of any any lady who will negotiate on basic price.  If I called one that did, I'd hope my big head would take over, and take a pass.

I may be a newby honey, but I have to step in here with my two cents! Business!!! Oh my...there may be money changing hands (for time and etc.), BUT for me and many other providers, it is far more than a "business." I give all of me to the gentlemen who see me. That includes my inner self, my loving demeanor, in essence...ME. For you to try to compact all of that into a small word like "business" IS an far more than a mere insult. That is why providers get so upset. I don't act; I am real. Save negotiating for the boardroom. Give us ladies the sweet loving treatment we give you, and you will get it back tenfold. Could we steam up the windows with business? Nahh....how about some good old-fashioned foreplay and romance? Maybe a little "f@@K me harder baby" in place of an accusative attitude.

and that too!

Do you negotiate with your doctor? Dentist? Electrician?  Get the point?

I don't negotiate.

Now ask the various men who have sent me e-mails asking for discounts to see how many of them even got a response from me? (The answer is zero).

Attempting to negotiate or ask for a discount is simply rude, tacky, and insulting. I won't even dignify someone's attempt at negotiating with a response. I just block them from contacting me agian. That may sound harsh, but if someone insults me once, I'm not going to give them an opportunity to do it again.

Actually, you are comparing very different situations here. Negotiating is done everyday between doctors, dentists etc. and either insurance companies or individuals. Yes, the charges doctors dentists etc, and tradesmen charge are negotiable. According to business 101 Everything is negotiable. The true question is wether the situation is one that you really want to negotiate. I don't see my doctor for a fantsy. It's strictly business. While the situation between a hobbiest and a provider is indeed business this is not what you as the hobbiest are really desiring as the outcome of the encounter. What you really want is your fantsy fulfilled. Bottom line is evaluate the situation and use common sense where you should negotiate and where it is not appropriate.
Just my nickles worth, and that is negotiable.

You are comparing a provider with a doctor or dentist???!!

Most of the time when I have negotiated with a provider it is for additional services.  

FYI - doctors, dentists, lawyers, realtors, electricians most certainly will negotiate their fees & services.