My deal is I'm 20 and am sadly still have get to have sex. I'm not particularly bad looking and in pretty decent shape but I've been in an extended depression and am not emotionally in shape for a girl friend.
I'm hoping if I have sex I'll be able to feel more confident and better about myself.
How do I go about going through this smoothly? I live in the SF area and would really appreciate it if someone could help me out.
Otherwise, you'd be on your local board or the ISO board.
Whichever.
First, you should know that many provider will not see someone as young as you are and for very good reason. They want mature men who know the ropes already. They are not interested in becoming involved with someone's psychological conditions. It's just not in the job description.
Next, you should weight what you are about to do. I'm not saying it is a mistake, but if you seek anything beyond a purely aesthetic experience with an encounter with a provider, then you are entering a region fraught with peril and you should probably have some kind of professional help before you do so. (Reference a post of mine on TEH Board just minutes ago for more details.)
Sorry to pour some cold water over your expectations, but I think you need to consider this with all due seriousness.
Once begun, the hobby is very difficult to leave behind.
I've read a lot of posts where people in the same boat as me said it was a good idea. I don't know what you mean by psychological issues but I don't see this any different from getting laid by a random chick at a party.
Do providers expect me to become their good friend or something because that's not why I'm there.
If some people could tell me about going about this properly I'd appreciate it.
All I am saying is that since you are quite young and inexperienced, and having some psychological baggage (And yes, every one does to some extent.), please be very carefull and weigh the decision carefully.
Please do not treat the hobby like it is a dating service, it is not.
There is no problem with becoming friendly with a provider, but do keep your head screwed on straight and remember the term boundaries. That is probably your biggest challenge.
Please note: The hobby is nothing at all like getting laid at a party or meeting a gal at a bar for a one night stand. Those are examples of what we call civie sex (The lower end of the civie sex too.) I make no moral judgements about that (I have lived in that glass house too.)
Hobbying is about paying a woman (or man if you prefer.) to have an aethestic experience within certain boundaries. Each party is acting independently and no strings are attached. The circumstances you describe are fraught with unseen circumstances and strings aboud.
In any case, I do wish you well in what ever develops.
By the way, have you read the Newbie Manual linked at the top of the page here?
It will give you a lot of info on the nuts and bolts of the hobby, which is as important if not more so than the philosophical issues.
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