I have been on the sidelines for quite a while just reading reviews.  I am finally ready to get in the game!  I've contacted a couple of providers and been rejected, though, because I have no references.  Seems a TER handle alone is not enough.  I have looked into P411 and similar, but I am very concerned about having my personal information stored in some database in this situation.  Of course I need to be discreet for my own personal reasons.  

I understand the need for screening and I don't mind at all.  I am just not sure what information I can provide and keep everyone protected.  Any advice??

From what I understood when I applied for Date-check they actually don't store most of your information after verification is complete - particularly the most sensitive stuff like work info. Of course I can't verify that they do it but that's what they claim. I got mine but haven't had to actually use it yet.

You could conceivably just keep trying until you find a provider who'll see you without references. I'm a noob myself but I've already seen two providers and have a third lined up and all have been well-reviewed but haven't asked me for references. I've been very polite and said up front I'm new but will provide them info if they ask for it but after talking a while they've just said they'll see me - maybe I sound so pitiful they think I'm too harmless to be LE or a psycho, I don't know but it's worked so far lol. I'm certainly proof that there are great providers out there who'll see a newbie as long as he's polite and straight with them so don't give up. The posts here and the newbie FAQ gave me a lot of useful pointers on what to say and what not to say so I highly recommend them.

Try Roomsevice 2000

"seems like a ter handle alone is not enough"
Very true statement, think about it, it's an alias, it doesn't prove anything or say anything about your background. Part of the hobby is built on trust, and a ter handle is just a small first step.  Screening and references will get you to the promised land. BTW being a gentleman and being respectful will also help in building a solid reputation. Good luck!

I joined Preferred 411 a while ago and have found it to be well run and easy.  Their screening process was straight-forward and did not cause me any consternation.  The site is well organized and easy to use.

If I am not mistaken, their offices (and records) are not in the US, so there is less likelyhood of legal issues.

The only thing I can say regarding whether you use P411, Date-Check, or RoomService is to scan each site and see which one (or ones) seem to have more providers in the areas you are interested in partaking.  Each one seems to be more prevalent in some geographical regions as opposed to others.

From what I hear, these are pretty much the only three of the 'verification services' that anyone trusts and recommends.

Probably not a good idea.  Some may read the review and equate your difficulty to the lady.