I am new to hobbying but I had a couple of expectations going in.  One of them has come true on the very first try.  The provider has bitched about not having enough money to pay all of her bills.  She's not asking me for extra money, just talking in casual conversation about her life.  I have see stereotypes on tv and in movies where an escort is shown as tring to get more money out of every clent.  Quick math shows me that at around $150 average per visitor, these providers should make over 6 figures pretty easily.  So my question is do they all poor mouth to get more out of you?

The stereotypes are true.  Don't give in to her golddigging.  And any provider who would do something like this clearly doesn't deserve your time (and money).

no, we do not "all poor mouth to get more out of you."

Plus, you said yourself, she didn't ask you for anything more and didn't try to upsell.  Could it be you asked certain questions that led to her answer?  You admit you went in with certain expectations.  It is usually when we have expectations that either consciously or subconsciously we make those expectations happen.

Much like dancers, providers work in a cash business. How they manage their money is critical and, unfortunately some don't manage it well. I tended top hear more complaining about finances when I was picking up SW's and shopping on Craig's List for $150 providers. Nowadays most of the ladies I see have a good head on their shoulders and are very smart with their money. Just by coincidence they also happen to be working in a much higher fee bracket as well.
This is a business that is full of stereotypes. Some are often true but many are often not. Judge people by their deeds, not by what you have read or seen on television. Try not to paint everyone you meet in the hobby with the same broad brush.

I would like to make sure I am clear, especially to Hollys Hobby.  The provider was answering my questions and being open about what she is going through now.  She did not ask me for anything extra at all.  I am a bit naive and still learning about this whole adventure I've begun and I did not mean to imply that people in this biz are trying to rip me off.  I was asking because I honestly wanted to know about the differnece between the stereotype I was exposed to and the reality which I am learning.  My question probably could have been worded much better.  I consider myself non-judgmental and I asked my question here so as to get good feedback, which I did.  I thank you all for your comments and I really meant no judgment or offense.  I'm soaking it all in as a rookie!

-- Modified on 7/9/2007 11:56:26 AM

It all depends on who you are looking at.

The average SW or Craig's list girl may have a habit to feed or someone pushing her to do this who may take her money.

However, most well reviewed independent providers have pretty good heads on their shoulders.

This is in a nutshell how I handle MY money.

25% Goes to pay my bills
If I clear 10K in a month that means that roughly $2500 goes towards Rent, car payments, insurance and living expenses including groceries and car expenses.

25% goes directly to savings

25% goes towards investments

10% goes to personal upkeep (hair, nails, tanning, gym, shopping)

5% Miscellaneous expenses

This is roughly where my cash goes. I keep track of all monthly inflow and outgo. I have a financial advisor, a CPA to handle my taxes and all that good stuff. We are not "all poor".

I for one have quite a bit saved and intend on keeping it that way. Bottom line for most although this is a fantastic Job, it is still business. I enjoy what I do and it should always be that way.

Alyssa

I always read xxxalyssaxxx"s postings because she is intelligent and has it together.  I have also gained great insight from Bostonguy and Mr. Fischer (not to mention Jazz32).  Thanks everyone

A favorite provider of mine owns real estate (outright), is well invested / diversified in the stock market, and has more liquid assets than most other millionaires I've met. She has achieved this all on her back through a fabulous work ethic and obvious wise money management.

Most providers are more comfortable with their lifestyle than mainstream America. I've never personally investigated another providers financial records- nor would I advise anyone to start looking into or "divulging" financial records.... but most established providers, that I have met, are living very comfortable.

Of course "Adult Entertainment" doesn't always work well with children and other family obligations... so, depending on each individual provider and her specific circumstance... it varies. There are also providers who aren't as responsible with their finances as they should be (*which is usually the truth behind providers lacking funds*)  Your question also suggests a very general statement of a very large group of individuals. As with any profession I am sure there are a percentage of irresponsible individuals in each profession.

My overall experience was if a provider didn't feel she was "making enough' she could always tour, offer extended hours of availability and//or get out of the business and go mainstream.

If your provider is suggesting she is in dire need of cash I'd suggest you be suspicious!

Exposing yourself and everything in your life to someone desperate for cash doesn't seem like a good idea (*thinking with the big head*) I'd just suggest you consider that old theory of supply & demand.... If there is no demand maybe there are reasons why that you just haven't witnessed yet.

Just my .02 cents  kisses ~Tori

Thanks for the insight.  You have made some excellent points which I will take to heart.

And you can't win, no matter what you do.  I got flamed all over another board because I refused to "lend" a provider $2,000 to cover "medical expenses."  I knew that she used a bogus illness as a cover-all excuse, ploy for sympathy, etc.

I did lend a lady who posts on this board $2,500 last Christmas to get her out of a "dire emergency" upon her solemn promise that I would have it back right away.  Then, she promised me to repay me $500 a month beginning in April.  Needless to say, I haven't seen a dime.

Oh, well.  The last chapter has yet to be written.

you end up losing both.

Same applies to providers, I fear.

Nice to see your post Tori, you are one that is always right on, and seems to have it all together. I have missed reading your posts. Best wishes to you and "always know your provider." Please let us know if you ever come to Tampa!

What is the old saying " A fool and his money are soon parted"

I have made the mistake before of loaning money to friends.  Rarely works out and always puts stress on the relationship.

I think all providers should read xxxallysxxx and paste in on their wall and review it once a week. I do o.k. and I just made a copy and no I am just a regular male business owner.By the way I am new to this hobby but getting into it and I've never met Holly[exchanged e-mails]and by the few posts I have read this girl has her shit together also.

It was about 3 weeks in to my "career" and I'd been saving every cent for a car. I finally found the one I wanted and I was off by $1600. He offered to lend it to me, saying he didn't want the car to be gone by the time I got the cash, and I was hesitant at first, but accepted knowing that I had appointments scheduled and could pay back within a few days. I called him a couple days later to pay him back and he said, let's just schedule a long date to cover your debt to me. I agreed, and we had a nice date instead. Now we are "even" and both of us were comfortable with the situation.

But I would agree, that you should be wary of a provider asking for money, especially if she's been providing for awhile- this says something about her honesty, or her ability to manage funds, or both.

XoXo,
Marea

So I saw her again and asked a couple more questions about her financial well being.  I couched the questions as simply concern for her, which was true.  She told me that yeah, she had been feeling some pressure recently because her roommate (another provider) had moved out and left a bunch of unpaid bills and didn't pay her part of the rent either.  She then went on to describe the 4 car payments she's making (she drives a Navigator), and the two other houses she owns (one in SC, one in FL)...and all of a sudden I thought Jesus! she's got investment property?!  What felt like money problems to her looks like she's doing all right to me.  But then again, you never know how people choose to spend their hard earned money.

This "woe is me" routine is terribly common among strippers and is a not so subtle ploy.  I hate it and find it low class and irritating.  You didn't elicit the comments, they were intentionally put out there to get tips or more appts and try to subtlely play on your emotions and make you feel sorry for them.  Those providers trying to excuse or rationalize it are plain lying as they know this tactic - it is in the 101 manual LOL.

In strip clubs its usually "my mom is sick", "my kid needs an operation", etc. etc.  Many providers come from a stripper background or were shown the ropes by someone who did.

GOOD providers don't resort to such BS ploys and underhanded tactics.  IMO it is a form of scam and upsell.  Maybe not as direct as others but still a sleazy move.  I tip and reward based on service, if they start this crap I don't go back as who knows what other tactics they may resort to - wallet diving???  It is more common among the "low end" sect of the trade, from what I have seen.  Maybe it is a desparation thing.

BTW, where is 150 avg.  You can't see any decent provider for under 200, and many of the best GFE are 300, in my area and it isn't a mecca.  I'd imagine you'll run into it a lot if u r looking at the low end of the scale.

JMHO

As you state, if she owns two houses etc. she may well be more well off than you are.  If she can't make rent then she needs a smaller place or a new roomie etc. etc.  Telling u all this is not just to get to know u better!  This ploy, even if a response to your question, is to elicit tips and more $.  Some "stripper" types see all clients as marks and will do anything to get more $ from them - for less/no services.  Praying on sympathy and guilt, lying, borrowing or whatever it takes.  Don't be suckered!

As others have said tho not ALL are into such BS games and ploys/scams.  There are plenty of upstanding providers who make good money and don't do drugs or waste it or live beyond their means.   This hobby/profession does draw in more of the other than most professions - for a lot of reasons psychological and otherwise.  So the stereotypes aren't completely off base but should be used to keep you wary of such traps.

JMHO

GL2U