I just wrote my first review for a seasoned provider and I asked her to give me a referral - she told me she would but did not know how - can anyone help me with how that works?

If you are just talking about references, then when some lady you want to see in the future asks for references, you give her the name and contact info of the providers you have seen in the past who said they would give you a reference.

If you are talking about whitelisting, then the provider has to be a TER member who has her username linked to her profile. The provider you reviewed has a profile with a bunch of reviews, but she might not be a member here. If she is, she hasn't linked her profile to her username. If she is a member, she needs to contact admin and ask them to link her profile. If she is not a member, she needs to sign up for membership, then ask them to link her profile. After that she can whitelist people. See the link I provided below. If she is confused tell her to sign up and come to the newbie board herself, rather than trying to relay messages. Also don't let her log in from your computer, and don't log into your account from hers. That's a big no-no in TER land