I am sure this has been asked many times. What is the normal method of getting a reference, when you dont have one. It seems most that would act as a reference require one? Please let me know, thanks.

Not every lady requires a referance though if you do not have, you must honestly say so & expect a bit more screening.  
If you wish to use a lady as a referance, they'll usually only do so for a recent visit they can remember.  You need to contact the referance provider first & ok it.  Otherwise, expect the referal request to be ignored...  just as they would be if a GF, SO, or PI were to make inquiries.  
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