Just how are you supposed to get started when you have no references and are self employed? I have talked to a couple of independents who think I am le. Should I try an agency?

Try registering at one of the verification services.  Maybe ask the provider you're interested in which she uses.  I know at least date-check.com has fields on their form for self-employed gents.

I found a lady who was willing to use alternate screening methods...  we had a great time...  the rest is history.  It may take a while to find someone but be honest, right from the start.
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Thanks for the advice guys. I think I have something worked out.

as well as some ladies will use alternate screening methods (see skb post).