Listen up all you young ogres. The swamp is a wonderful place to play. There are many beautiful playmates to have fun with. However, you must be aware of the many evils that are lurking in the swamp. First and foremost, His Liege's Enforcers (LE), who would like nothing more than to catch a young ogre playing where he shouldn't. Also, some of the playmates in the swamp are less than truthful. They are always looking for naive ogres whom they can fleece.
Below are a few rules to keep you safe and ensure you have a great time playing in the swamp.
1. Get a TER VIP membership. This is invaluable for researching the wonders of the swamp. It is here that other wise ogres share what they have learned about the different playmates of the swamp. This will guide you in your quest to find just the right playmate for you. There is also a wealth of information on how to play nice in the swamp. This is very important. You want to make sure you understand the etiquette of the swamp so that the many beautiful playmates will want to play with you. And finally, there are great tips on how to avoid the many traps and snares in the swamp.
2. Join a verification site. I recommend P411, Date Check, R2K in that order. This is another valuable tool in learning about the playmates in the swamp. Many of these playmates are very shy and need to see that you are a nice ogre who has learned how to play in the swamp. This is a great way to start building your reputation, which will assist you in getting play dates with all the many beautiful playmates of the swamp.
3. Use technology wisely. Get a prepaid play phone and a tablet. This is especially true if you want to keep your play in the swamp a secret from those you may share a home with. Never use a work computer or phone. Even if you own your business, you still run the risk of disclosure if you are ever audited. Never use a home computer or phone unless you are a single ogre and don't have to worry about anyone else using these or seeing the bills. Just be aware, that by using personal equipment, you are leaving evidence that could come back to haunt you. Finally, use an anonymous e-mail address. This should be self evident, but sadly many have failed to do this and have revealed more than they wished.
4. Clean up. Face it. You are a nasty ogre. None of the wonderful playmates of the swamp will want to play unless you clean yourself up. Trim your nails. Get a pedicure. Trim your nose and ear hair. Brush and floss your teeth. Take a shower right before your play date paying extra special attention to your private parts. Many of the playmates will have facilities available for you. You will be rewarded with an even more memorable play date if you do this. Most of the playmates of the swamp take extra care to clean up for you, you should do the same for them. Make grooming and hygiene a regular part of your routine. If you only clean up when you have a play date, it will raise a red flag with whoever you are in a relationship with.
5. Be selective. Okay, here is where many go astray. They get caught up in the fun. They chase after any and all playmates and get burned. There are many, many, many playmates in the swamp. I strongly recommend that you only play with those that are on the verification site that you belong or those that are well reviewed, preferably on TER. The only exception to this rule would be if you run across a playmate who is new to the swamp, as you once were. Just be extra careful and look for any warning signs that things may not be as they seem. This is why rule #2 is so important. To help new playmates and ogres establish themselves as trustworthy to play with in the swamp.
6. Budget. Play in the swamp can be addictive. Make sure to budget your resources and time so you can enjoy it well into the future. Also remember, that you usually get what you pay for. While you can play more in the inexpensive areas of the swamp, it is also the most risky area of the swamp. Follow rule #5 and you should do fine.
7. Have fun. Now is the time to schedule some play dates and start experiencing the many wonders of the swamp. Remember, be respectful, follow the rules and you will have many memorable play dates. Oh, and if you and your playmate want, you can share these experiences with the rest of us. Sort of giving back for the guidance you received from your wise brothers on TER.
Finally, a word of caution. When playing in the swamp, do not get overly attached to any one playmate. It is natural to form a bond with those you play with, but be very careful not to believe it is anything more than play.
