Asking for rate is appropriate thing when you haven't seen her before and there is discrepancy in her rates on various sites. I would have handled it a little differently myself, but given that you are new and lack experience, I don't think you did something totally wrong.  

...I never drive more than 30 minutes but the OP lives in a different area, with fewer choices so it's understandable...once.  But still, after a two hour drive, it's one strike and she's out.

To the OP:  Move the fuck on!  If she's in the top 15 in your area, that means there are 14 others who are just as amazing, have just as good reviews and are just as DDG.  You're a newbie so don't get hung up on this one.  Try one of the other 14.  Climb another mountain.

seeking out a well established provider and going the extra mile is trying to see her than settling for someone on BP.  

+1
I had that happen to me twice & it does get you frosted.. and the 1st time I tried to do a review and it was, of course, rejected..
It could be worse..
I have a friend who has been a strip club buddy for years.. Then he moved to AMPS (I had no interest in that) and he is now getting into the wonderful world of the Hobby. He met a pprovider in a bar in Chicago last year, raves about her .. (he's from Boston). He has been creating business trips to Chicago every few months since then.  Last month he went on one.. He had scheduled a date with the provider in Chicago.. so he got on the plane, made the hotel reservation.. checked in and texted her to let her know that he was checked in and was waiting for her..  
She texted back that she forgot he would be there and was in Miami.. whoops ! She told him that she would be there the next week if he wanted to come back..

At least it was Chicago, where there are plenty of other gals to fill in the need.  

When you make the appointment, say that you saw the special she advertised on "X" site so she knows what you have in mind for the donation.  If she isn't down with that, that gives her a chance to say something like:  "Oh, that was a special only good up to X date.  Now you have to look at my site for the rates."

As for getting snookered twice, I only give a gal one chance and if she doesn't have a decent excuse for what happened, I'm not going to play Charlie Brown to her Lucy Van Pellet.  I've had this happen a few times over the years.  The only one that was legit was a gal who had a bad car accident on her way to see me.  She was in the hospital a few days and her cell phone got wrecked in the accident.  She didn't have her laptop in the hospital either.  She contacted me later and we finally got together when she was feeling better, though a bit bruised up.

Fool me twice shame on me.  I don't give a NCNS a second chance. Just move on.  

Posted By: jaswan78

Ok I am really new to this world and am still learning how to address providers etc....  
 So I have seen quite a few providers, but only reviewed one one the here(TER), so I wanted to meet another gal that is in the top 15 reviewed in my area...so I set up an appointment with her...sent her my references, and I will admit the first time I did ask probably some uneasy questions over email...I asked her her rate as I was seeing 3 different rates on 3 different websites...question 1: should have I asked her how much.. because literally I didn't know...and as I am new to this world I didn't know what to do... I think that freaked her out alittle.. whatever...long story short...she sent me to a hotel.. we were texting back and forth right up to the appointment time and then nothing... I mean not a single word... I tried texting calling emailing...I sat in the parking lot for over an hour past my appointment time and then gave up...  
   
 The next day she texts me back out of the blue apologizing and we texted back and forth and I told her to check my refs..etc  told her I was sorry of how I probably asked inappropriate questions...etc  
 She assures me that I am "Good to meet now"   Keep in mind I am driving 2 hours one way to see her....  
   
 So today was the 2nd appointment... same thing... texted me all the time I was enroute to her and at the appointment time.. I get a text saying that her movers unexpectedly showed up and she would get back to me because we had it set up today to meet at her place...I waited in town all day...finally gave up and half way home she texts apologizing again and says she is abvailable tomorrow...   What would u guys do..... according to her reviews she is amazing...I really really wanted to see her.. I feel Like Im getting played...  But I don't get it... she has tons of reviews... 3 or 4 websites... drop dead gorgeous... and the reviews say the pics are real        Any Advice on my novel I just wrote?

The first was NSNC initially but then she got back the next day to apologize.  The second one is a cancelled appointment after she KNEW you were driving to see her.  OUTRAGEOUS!  This is totally disrespectful of your time & money (no free gas & other expenses).  
I don't know what her game is but some gals work on the "first to arrive plan."  When they decide to offer services, they throw up an ad...  they accept all callers & give them a call point.  The first one to arrive, gets accepted while the gal shuts her phone off or ignores until she's available again.  It may maximize her cash flow in a short period of time but appointments as we know them mean nothing.  I will never see such a gal...  because I live outside the city & by the time I get there, she's in ignore mode.  
The problem is one does not know until arrival that you are being left hanging...  and even then, not sure.
You did everything right & she still flaked on you.  I'd not waste anymore time & energy on her.  There are lots of providers who will respect your time.

I usually explain to the girl that NCNS is considered a serious crime in this biz. I'm pretty direct and serious about it. No beating around the bush trying to be nice. The girl knows how pissed I was lol

wouldn't be driving 4 hours on two and maybe three days to see her.

Shes obviously got something strange going on... like somebody suggested she may just be taking apts as they show up but i personally do not over book times... i even give myself a 30 minute window between apts in case somebody is running late.... now if i knew a gentleman was driving that far there is no way in hell I would blow him off... Ive been the one to drive far and then get ignored and it makes me furious! but If i am sent on a fluke mission one time they go on the DNS list (do not see)  
I say there are 14 other top providers (at least lol) in your area start looking elsewhere!

that the newbie mistake was to fall for it twice. He won't get blamed here because he admitted it was a mistake. That's how we learn.

Go home she won't show. Try another one. Its happened to us all.