What should I do in the following situations:

1) If she's in the door and no money has been exchanged.

2) If money has been exchanged, but no sexual contact has been made. If I disagree with the upsale, and she refuses to give me my all or most of the money back.

3) If sexual contact has been made, and she tells me, that if you want beyond a HJ or BJ, it requires more $$$.

1. This is the easiest.  If she's already upselling at this point just kick her out and write a review.  Personally in this situation I wouldn't feel bound to give her anything.

2. Is harder for us to carry through with.  The correct answer is to request a partial refund, which she will refuse, then kick her out and write a review.  No reason to throw good money after bad, but you can't really forcibly take your "refund" either.  Write it off to a lesson learned.

3. You have already paid her and are receiving somme sort of service.  Hell, let her give you the HJ or BJ that she is willing to do for the cash she already has.  Might as well get something for your money.  Do NOT give her any more.  take what she is willing to give and write a review.

Do your homework and check her reviews, know who you are going to see and you will not run into these situations.
If she starts to upsell you before you even give her the donation then just simply leave. Once you have paid for the hour, Always bear in mind the only thing she owes you is 60 minutes of her time. If you have not already established what is to be expected and she proceeds to upsell, shame on you. Either pay the upsell or be content with whatever she states you have paid for.

You said "the only thing she owes you is 60 minutes of her time."  What if all she wants to do is talk?  Uh, no.  What she owes you is what her reviews consistently say she offers.

Any provider who says she does not have to live up to her reviews is being dishonest.  Because they cannot specify anything on their own websites, some might use this as an excuse to provide arbitrary service.  We can use the same excuse since we are prevented from specifying what we are willing to pay for.  Let's face it, providers rely on the reviews to generate business.  The only way for this to work is of both sides come with the same set of expectations based on reviews.  If the client cannot expect anything from this, then why read the reviews at all? [as you and all other experienced hobbyists recommend?]

If the provider has no reviews, then you just TOFTT and should just consider your money gone.  If all her reviews say CBJ, mish and doggie then she at least owes you that.  If she refuses, you deserve an explanation - not just "I don't do that."  I've seen reviews of providers where some say BBBJ and others CBJ.  In those instances expect CBJ only, and ask about BBBJ.

By saying that the provider should be allowed to do anything she wants, you're just undermining the argument for reading the reviews.

It's simple: she owes if you pay; you're not there for any "favors", it's not like a civvie date where expectations are open-ended.  As long as a client sticks within the parameters of what a provider is known to consistently provide, as per reviews, what's the problem?  Providers who don't want to live up to reviews should ask not to be reviewed or to have them removed if already posted.

I have not yet had an experience where I've felt shorted in terms of services delivered so I've been lucky.  I've had less-than-stellar service but I won't demand any money back for that.  So far, all the well-reviewed providers I've gone to have lived up to their reviews.

All you pay for when you book with a lady is her time, anything else is a bonus. You look in reviews to see what you may expect, but not demand. For you to say you pay for anything more than her time is saying you expect sexual favors in return for your money, that attitude will land you alot of problems that we should not go into here.
I never pay for sex, I pay the lady to shut-up and go away when we are done. LOL
PS: You say that any provider who does not live up to her reviews is being dishonest! Dude, providers do not write the reviews and she can scream to high heaven to TER that they are false, but rarely will TER alter anything in the review. How can she be dishonest about something she did not write? Most providers will openly tell you their reviews have alot of exagerated BS in them. It is up to you to determine what is BS and truth, but to carry this attitude that she owes you and is obligated to give you whatever some other hobbyist claimed to have recieved is not a wise approach.

-- Modified on 5/13/2007 8:14:55 PM

When you say that, are you saying that the provider has the option of doing nothing or perhaps watching Survivor reruns while I sit around?

You say you pay her to "shut up" when you are done.  Done with what?  Backgammon?  I'm sure providers would love someone to just give them money to do whatever they feel like.  I'd like to go to work and say they are just paying me to show up for 8 hours.  What I do is none of their business.

You also say that the provider does not have to live up to reviews, but I have to determine what's BS.  how do I do that?  By looking at the reviews over time for a consistent pattern.  If it's a well-regarded provider [let's not talk about AMP's here], everyone can't be lying if they say she does BBBJ.  After I've determined what's BS, what am I supposed to do with that?

Some reviews might exaggerate, but that's why you have to look at several of them to see what's consistent.  Also, I look for reviewers who have good track records.

By your logic, isn't it just as foolish to say that we should pay THEM for their time?  What is it about their time makes them so worthy of our money?

First, lets remember this is a Newbie board with many Newbies looking for guidance. My point was that providers do sell time, there is nothing illegal or wrong with that, and believe it or not many hobbyists do pay providers to go out to dinner, etc. When you take the attitude that you are paying for sexual favors, that is illegal. If you ever get caught it a sting the only thing LE has to do to arrest you is have you express that you expect sex in return for money. When you go to work on your civie job, your employer does not pay you just to show up, but the work he expects of you is not illegal. A provider must be concerned with LE also, if you come across that you expect certain sex acts in return for your money, she very likely will introduce you to Mr. Dialtone or show you the door. We all must always be careful in what we say before you get to know each other.

When reading reviews you do have to be careful. Fake and shill reviews are posted all the time, TER tries to weed them out but it is difficult. Many are exposed on the Regional Board, problem reports submitted by hobbyists and providers to help Staff weed them out. But to pinpoint certain things such as BBBJ or DFK and feeling you are entitled to it is wrong, maybe your breath stinks or whatever, many things are a YMMV issue.

I just hate for any Newbie to take the attitude that he is entitled to certain things for his money just because he read it in a review. Sure, you read reviews to get an idea of what you should be able to expect, and if everything goes ok you probable will. There are risks in this hobby and every time you see a provider for the first time there are risks for both parties. It is all a matter of how you approach it.

You Wrote: "I never pay for sex, I pay the lady to shut-up and go away when we are done."

A sonnet by Shakespeare pales in comparison to your gentle loving words...LOL...Damn WT!


You are right about Reviews giving a somehwhat jaded image of a lady.  I have a provider friend who has had 8 reviews posted by the same guy claiming he nailed her anally and She loved it and liked the guy to almost force it on her!

Needless to say, she doesn't do anal and certainly doesn't want to be "forced" to do it.

Read a Ladies reviews and you will get a good idea of what services are "likely" to be available to a "gentleman" showing up at the door.  Show up as an asshole, or smelly pig, or jerk expecting the world and you will probably get less than you expect, but that is the YMMV aspect of this hobby!

The nice guys who treat ladies right tend to get more and better service than those that treat them with disrespect and expect them to "perform" for you.

JMTC

I tend to see well reviewed providers with a history of good service.  

I treat ladies well and I am a nice person.

I shower prior to meetings with ladies.

I always pop a breath mint on the way into a meeting.

And I never see ladies that charge $500 for an initial meeting.

But Thanks for sharing your "entitlement" thoughts with the newbies on this board..it will get them off to a "great" start...geez.

-- Modified on 5/14/2007 4:43:51 PM

Emphasis on "well reviewed"

If  I’m toying with TOFTT or chancing some Craigslist cooze I always hedge my bets, and limit my losses.
I first feel them out too see if I'm comfortable with them and their demeanor. If initial comfort levels are met then I give them the envelope (if they ask); but with only half the donation in it. I show them the balance and inform them that it will be theirs if all prior verbal/written promises are kept on their part.
 



-- Modified on 5/14/2007 7:55:28 AM

I thought you would appreciate my romantic side, that's why the ladies love me so much. LMAO!

Perhaps what you really mean is that I should not continue the conversation while you go on making your points.

FYI, I treat all providers with respect and have rarely been disappointed.  I do not go in barking orders and making demands.  Because I read the reviews I have a good idea about who's reputable.

Providers have expectations about us as well.  I am always clean, courteous and respectful.  If I keep up my end of things, why shouldn't they?

However, if you want the last word here you can have it.