When going to a provider's house, has anybody ever been setup in anyway (not by LE, but by the provider herself)?
Also, if you give information verifying where you work as a reference, how do you know that the provider won't use that against you as blackmail if she gets pissed off at you for some reason? Has this every happened to anybody?
I understand the need to verify who you are, but surely she also understands that I am reluctant to disclose where I actually work.
You need to break down the question somehow. If you're using terms like 'anyone', I'm sure 'someone' has had something like that happen at least once. However, the whole point of TER is to mitigate the risk by using only well-reviewed, established, providers.
You're not the only one hesitant about giving out work information. 'She' may understand your hesitation, but there are many others willing to give out this information so 'she' can live with one less client as safety is primarily 'her' concern.
If we remove either the very broad or very specific terms, you just need to exercise caution. If you're not comfortable giving out work information to an individual provider, don't. Ask if she will verify you using an alternate means. Some will, some won't. There are many providers, so you will eventually find someone that will do this. Find two reputable ladies that will see you, and two references are enough to be able to say a great deal of providers without too much further detail.
Alternatively, you can join date-check, P411, or RS2k (depending on what's prevalent in your area) and that way you usually won't have to be asked to give out that type of information to providers. However, as with everything, it is always up to a lady's discretion whether to see you or to ask for more information.
How can you enjoy your session when you are worrying about what she might later try to do to you? If you stick with well reviewed providers, the odds of ROB or blackmail are very slim. Nothing in life is certain, but you can protect yourself by not TOFFT until your hobby radar has become well-honed.
Don't let this scare you away from hobbying - just be smart about sharing your personal info.
My advice would be to join Date-Check. Do not share your full name, work info, SSN, DL number, mother's maiden name, home address, etc, with any provider. Many providers will turn you away for this. Some will accept Date-Check and provider references and you should stick to those if you are at all risk averse like me.
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