When communicating with a provider and they ask what you like or what your preferences are, are you supposed to continue to be discrete and not speak explicitly or is that the time when you can request what all you want your date to entail?

I know you would never come out and say I want to F#$& all night in an email but when asked is can you use terms like GFE, BBBJ, etc.?  Or should you still speak in general terms and let her read between the lines.  For instance, "sometimes I like to take charge of the situation and control what is going on and other times I want someone else to make the decisions and let me enjoy the ride along the way.

and I would council discontinuing the call.

She could say something like:  Have you read my site and/or my reviews to know that you'll enjoy me?

That would be as far as it goes.

So, perhaps the best way to answer the question would be to say that you have checked out her site and reviews and are comfortable with same.

If she continues to pry into any specifics, I would cut off the call.

It's not a good sign.

that just because YOU are trying to learn the ropes, that all providers will behave "correctly" and expect you to do the same.

There are providers who do not screen at all. There are providers who work out of their homes. There are providers who are perfectly willing to discuss specific acts on the phone. There are providers who provide uncovered FS without a 2nd thought.

You can only be responsible for YOUR behavior. If you discuss specific acts on the phone with a provider at HER urging, the likelihood is simply that she doesn't know any better. What is the risk to you? If she is indiscrete about this, she may be indiscrete about something else. Is it likely that she is LE trying to set you up? Not really, that's not generally how they work, but it is certainly possible.

As Mr Fisher says, find a website and find reviews to find out what is available. If she does not have either of those things, then you are TOFTT, and any expectations that you have regarding the session are just foolish on your part.

Never risk safety, specially on email or phone. Usually the only discussion I could potentially have is about outfits, logistics etc... should any other questions arise, I would politely send them to my reviews.

Not in the past 35+ years of doing this has this happened. If a provider began discussing anything related either before we met or when I walked in the door I would be gone in a flash. "Sorry, I must be in the wrong place" and politely excuse myself from the room or from any further communication.

I do enough research on my own and know pretty much what to expect and what's expected from me. These rules haven't failed me yet and I am doing quite well.

Fine tuning the relationship after the first encounter is another matter.

The correct way to be discrete is to make sure that you are or consist of unconnected distinct parts.  

I don't know if I was being discreet, but I was communicating with a well reviewed provider who offers a wide range of services and we had many emails. She had already checked me out and, I forget her exact way of asking, but my reply was along the lines of: "I don't want to say anything specific but do you still have the outfit described by Reviewer1?  Reviewer2 and Reviewer3 sound like they had a good time.  I don't think I'm up to the likes of Reviewer4! Yikes!"  That gave her an idea of what I was interested in and NOT interested in and things proceeded well.

(I think Reviewer4 might have been mrfisher.  JUST KIDDING!!  This was in NYC; no mrfisher review!)

(clce101: mrfisher and I both post to the Boston board so he knows I'm just kidding around.

eom

Have to take down notes so I could refer back to the reviews ... I don't have a ton of reviews but I can't remember each one .. So much easier to join P411 and make a profile (in that you can state things you like, expect, or are "just icing on the cake".