Well the first time she actually had to cancel on me because she was sick. We then had scheduled another time, but I had to reschedule and I let her know 3 days ahead of time. We have been trying to get a time down, but she suggests a time and I can't do it, and then I suggest a time, and she can't do it. I think she might be getting frustrated but I can't say for sure. She used the word 'UGH!' in her last email. I apologized for the difficulty in scheduling with her and explained to her that usually my schedule is wide open but lately it has been out of wack. I assured her I wanted to see her and that hopefully we could work out something very soon.

Some get pretty upset even with one or two day's notice, especially if they are traveling.  They may want some money to cover their lost time or might even put you on a DNS list.

Scheduling can be a bitch.  It's best to find ways to be almost 100% certain so that you don't have to cancel.  Two cancellations in a row will certainly put you on many providers' blocked list.

a large portion of them are tolerant of cancellations, provided you give them plenty of notice.  I would say moreso if it's a local girl than a touring lady, who might not be able to fill your time on short notice.

But, as with all things, it depends on the provider, and possibly your relationship with her (repeat client, etc.).  Yes, many providers are not doing this fulltime and have jobs outside the hobby, which may restrict their availability, not to mention a real life as well.

Swim

...as long as you notify them in a proper and timely manner? I've been trying to schedule some time with a provider I've seen before, but my schedule keeps getting out of wack. We've had two scheduled dates in the past week that I had to cancel, and it seems like lately our schedules just aren't meshing. Is this a normality in the hobby world? Will there come a point where she just gets annoyed if I keep having to reschedule or are they pretty understanding of things like this, since I assume many clients have busy professional and personal lives outside the hobby?

-- Modified on 2/28/2011 8:28:25 AM

-- Modified on 2/28/2011 8:28:53 AM

If you have to cancel a few times with a lady whom you have seen in the past, I think the lady will cut you a little more slack. She knows you are a legitmate client (as you have seen her before) and will tend to believe that your cancellations are in fact the result of unforeseen circumstances. To the contrary, a lady whom you have never seen before and have now cancelled a few appointments in anticipation of your first meeting, will prob. have a shorter threshold of tolerance. She has no idea if you are simply playing games with her (i.e. scheduling sessions and then not following through on your appointments) and in the end have no real desire to actually see her. She may get aggravated much sooner at your cancellations and have no interest in a future meeting.  

Of course with any lady, the key is to provide as much notice as possible. There are no hardfast rules. Providers understand (as clients should understand) that life is what happens when you make plans. If you can give a lady a day notice of your cancellation, great. If you have to cancel in the morning for an afternoon appointment because you just found out you had a business meeting, that's okay too. Be courteous be respectful and above all do not play games. If you understand that this is business to the ladies you'll act as how you conduct your business in the civilian world. Most well reviewed and respected ladies will understand that things happen. Sure, some ladies may be angry with you over a cacellation even if you cancel in plenty of time. There is nothing you can do.

In this business things come up for the guy as well as the provider and plans have to be cancelled.I cannot speak about being a touring provider because I do not tour but most ladies have on their websites cancellation info.I am sure there might be a difference in a reaction from a local lady to a touring lady because touring depends on how many appointments the lady has confirmed.From time to time I do experience a gentleman having to cancel or change the date I have no problem with this if I have proper notice.There is a gentleman that I have seen multiple times and sometimes he has to cancel for maybe an hour or two before the appointment for business reasons I completely understand.I had this guy cancel on me whom I had not met yet 2hr before the appointment he did not have a good reason and I was pissed!I understand things do occur but the reason I received for the cancellation was straight BS.I can usually tell if a guy is being straight up when he has to cancel or he is just being a timewaster.

Many of the gentleman I have the pleasure of meeting are from out of town and you can never tell how the weather is going to be.So,of course if he has to cancel because of his flight being delayed or weather is a good enough reason to have to cancel or reschedule.It does seem that lady in question you are speaking about is trying to work with you regarding a schedule that will be feasible to both of you.If she did not want to work with you after the 2nd cancellation you would not hear back from her I am sure it is very frustrating when multiple cancellations take place hopefully both of you can get your schedules together where you both have some free time.

The lesson I learned pretty early on is to not make appointments when my schedule was in flux.  Maybe it's just my bad luck, but the minute I'd line something up, my schedule would change.  Once I take my gun out of the holster, I intend to shoot and once the lady screens and books the appointment, she's counting the money.  Even if she's understanding, it doesn't make her happy.  As you proceed through the hobby, you'll gain references and notoriety that allow for a quicker turnaround.  That means that you don't need to pick a time before you know that you'll be able to make it, not counting sudden illness, car wrecks, etc.

the back and forth isn't going to last much longer with her.

-- Modified on 2/28/2011 10:02:48 PM

Actually, two in my book. Canceling one appointment is forgivable, could happen to anyone. Two is a pattern, and makes me doubt this person, and three just would not be likely to happen to me. Actually, it did once, and three became 4, then it became a sort of running joke and we never got together.

Hell, man, if you cancel on her once, you need to be doubly sure you make the next date. So I am definitely in the camp of, you screwed this up, now move on. And here is another reason why - this woman is annoyed with you, and with good reason. Now, annoyance may seem like good foreplay to you (not me), and I know most providers have all sorts of reasons not to be thrilled about actually seeing most hobbyists, and are good at getting over it, but I do not see how it helps to have her pissed off, too.

And if she has something else come up when you have a "confirmed" appointment, say a regular who wants to see her, or even a friend who wants to buy her another drink, no matter how professional she is normally you have greatly increased the chances that you get bumped. It is just human nature, and she really owes you one.

Your choice in the end, but you have doubled up on the risk and reduced the likely reward, IMO. And if you do see her, or even before you do, you might want to offer a nice tip "for the inconvenience." That would at least make her feel better about seeing you. Me, I would apologize and move on, "sorry I wasted your time, my schedule is a little out of control and I do not want to inconvenience you again so I will only get in touch when I am absolutely sure I can make it..."

Zig

If your schedule is usually wide open, why not wait until it is once again to reduce your risk that you will need to cancel? Like Jolene said, I think her tolerance is growing thin. If someone is repeatedly canceling/rescheduling on me, I'll drop contact with them for awhile. I've found that if they contact me again a month or two later, things tend to work out better then.

Like to add that sometimes things do happen, on either end of either party. If I find myself rescheduling on someone more than once I think it's courteous to offer a discount to the person. Likewise a tip for the woman being so willing to work with you in spite of your fluctuating schedule would probably be appreciated and well-received.