So I saw a very nice and well reviewed lady four times around last September over the period of a month and a half or so.  I think we got along pretty well, and she spent the night twice.  I find myself returning to Vegas next month and was looking to meet somebody new.  I shot a text to the lady I had spent some time with and here's what I sent verbatim.  "Hey!  This is (first name), if you remember me, haha.  Sorry for bugging you but are you cool with me using you as a reference?"

It could be something as innocuous as she being on vacation, and just hasn't gotten back to you yet.. But it could also mean that she is "cock blocking". Its a common thing that providers do when they lose their business to someone else. Some are pretty gracious to give out references, others not so much. Some will also go to the extent of bitching about you to other provider(s).  

All he said makes sense.  Another option is to tell your next person that you have asked the first provider for a reference but she hasn't yet replied.

would have been a mention about needing the reference for a trip to Vegas. She might be more comfortable giving out an ok knowing your not looking to see the local competition. The cock block thing does happen from time to time but if she knew you were going to be out of state (I'm assuming your not in Vegas) maybe she would be a little more forthcoming with a positive reference. Curios to know if even though she won't vouch for you if she would like to see you again? That would probably answer the cock block question if it came back a yes.

but disappointing if it is.  Do some providers seriously expect one sided monogamy?

Good idea, but she is a resident of Vegas whom I have visited while passing through a few times.  I think I've found my answer though.  I'll just move on and start from square one, NBD.

You saw her multiple times,  but didn't write a review. If she's a Vegas regular, leaving her a review might have helped in getting a reference from her.  

Is a reference something often held over the head of guys in exchange for a review?  Honest question.  IMHO, if a provider wants one in exchange for something the least they could do is just ask like I asked for a reference.

I was brand new two months ago, self employed so difficult to verify, and now 60 days later I'm sure anyone would be willing to see me.  I wrote a couple reviews, got two OK's from them, signed up for 6 months of free P411 using those ok's (and no other personal information) and now have 4 ok's and I'm off and running.  You saw her 4 times so you obviously liked her, write a positive review of her.  Forget about if she wants one, it gives you credibility and board presence which is one of the things that helps you in the future when you request an appointment if you're new.  Screening is not uniform, each footprint you leave gives her something to work with to feel comfortable seeing you.  Next lady you see request a whitelist or P411 ok from her after the session as opposed to when you are taking your money to another lady to spend it on them.  I'd be surprised if she didn't immediately give it to you.  They all want to see you, you just need to give them the correct reason to do so.  Last bit of advice for every new guy that reads this is signup for P411, it immediately opens every door out there.  Good luck.    

Now that is strange! I cannot see any flags etc, your request was the norm. Reference requests are expected and help to keep everyone men and women alike safe. I can't imagine refusing particularly after overnights etc, she obviously was comfortable in your company.  To each their own but the majority would have given you a reference unless something happened during your last visit.  Personally I would send another email and ask her why she won't give you a reference.  Wouldn't hurt. Best of luck and have fun in Vegas!

I am new so thanks for writing. Anyone have any P411 horror stories?

So is it too late to write a review for a date back in September?  That was almost five months ago...

...be written within 90 days. But you could see her again and write the review right away. If you don't have VIP membership here get it so you can check reviews. You do get 15 days of free VIP when you write / submit a review and it is approved and posted. But for newbies two reviews are required before the free days are granted. At that time you will get 30 days. From that point on it's 15 days given for every approved review. Until you earn those reviews VIP is $30 a month.  

but I forked out the $75 for a three month so I could do some research for the trip.  I must say, from what I've read thus far, there are quite a few budding erotic novelists, haha.  Not saying they're false, just written in that style.

My understanding is that you have to write it within 3 months of seeing her... but I could be wrong.  I'd try writing it anyways.  Who's to say they would even know the date took place that long ago.  TER doesn't actually read through all this crap do they.

...you can work out something that might be more in your comfort level. They have a reputation for working with you to get it done. The call doesn't cost so at least it's worth checking out.

Sorry to hear that you are having an issue getting a provider reference!  As mentioned above, references are important and help to keep everyone safe- as well as let providers know if the client was a gentleman!! I personally, always do references as long as the client was a gentleman!  I have no problem doing it, and a provider being jealous or not wanting you to see another lady is just silly. This is not a dating site, we are all here to have fun and be safe!