Safety is always key. She'll be thinking of it because many providers are more vulnerable to predators. There is a very long history about men abusing women, just think back to ancient history, wars have been started over a single woman. Once you find an ATF you might find yourself shocked at what you'll do to spend more time with her. Many guys, especially newbies, haven't got a clue what personal safety means, so they will often see the providers safety measures as intrusive, bothersome and annoying. Choose providers to see with caution, only see well reviewed providers.
My short answer is when at home, use incall facilities offered, providing they are in neighborhoods you would be willing to visit in "real" life. While traveling let the providers visit you, in your hotel room. be smart and never talk about money and services on the phone. if you have any legal questions either ask a lawyer or go to law school.
It's important to note that many providers use a "crib" for their incall activities. The crib is a place they use expressly for business. Some providers get a hotel room, others turn part of their home/apartment/townhouse into a crib. Sometimes multiple providers share cribs. Sometimes crib usage is smart and safe, sometimes it's an arrest waiting to happen. VERY tough to know the difference, in fact after 20 years of hobbying I've been shocked to find out that I was a few days away from a bust. Don't worry about that, just understand it's part of the risk you can't mitigate.
The crib allows the provider to (a) keep their private lives private and (b) ensure control of the "working area", and (c) offer their services in other places. The crib lets them separate some of the work stuff from the personal stuff. Most providers will take steps to sanitize their crib, making certain that you won't easily get personal information. Some providers have had bad experiences with "less conscientious" hobbyists these things are important.
Incall requires you to travel, you may need to add time to get to and from the session, often increasing the budgeted time by an hour on both sides, just to be safe.
Incall also introduces additional risk for you. Your car and it's contents may become targets of opportunity. Limit what you carry into an incall, I never bring a watch, wallet, extra jewelry, glasses, anything I'm likely to lose track of with me. I might bring a gym bag with MY soaps, a towel, and a fresh change of clothes, but providers sometimes want to check that extra bag for cameras, recording gear and other high risk equipment. I always carry extra cash, just in case (can you get an extra hour?). If the need for an ID didn't come up in the screening, i won't bring one. A lot to deal with, I know, but this is more than 20 years of experience.
Outcall, she comes to you. First of all, some providers will only go to certain types of places. The high class gals are less likely to go to the local cockroach-motel that charges by the hour and some providers will stick out at the better hotels in ways that you might not imagine. do some research and only see well reviewed providers until you understand the ropes. Some things should be protected, just to address your natural paranoia. Remember, just because your paranoid, doesn't mean people aren't out to get you. Having said that, never deny a provider the use of a shower, unless you've decided to not play nice any more. If she asks for one in the beginning, think about it... why would she want one? When we had daughters I learned that girls are more likely to feel icky sooner than guys. Just think it through. Of my hobbying history, I remember two out call sessions especially well.
My first outcall session (in Boston), she wanted a shower after the session. I said yes, she took all my toiletries, including my razor. When I called her agency they laughed and told me that they were afraid she might be a bit of a clepto. Hotel soaps and bottles were her thing. Very strange. Great session, other than that. Call to housekeeping and 5 minutes, it didn't matter. Lesson learned. The agency was very apologetic, offered a discount (half off) on another session, which was better than the first, but hey, i was young!
The second really memorable outcall session was in Canada, about ten years later. I hadn't done outcall to my hotel room in a really long time and didn't think it through... Earlier in the trip I placed a cheap broken Rolex in my shave kit. She didn't speak English. After we finished she wanted a shower. She was naked, expect for the towel on her head and helped me set up for two dinner reservations at great restaurants in Montreal. Man was she a turn on, I'm a sucker for French! As she was dressing i checked for the watch and it was gone. I tried to figure it out. This is where I figured out she really didn't speak English... She sensed my sudden concern, took the phone and called her agency and put somebody else on. They translated and she stripped, emptied her bag and sat my by bed and "opened" up. Her submissiveness was a strong turn on and cost me another session but if she had it and I checked her out completely, emptied her purse and checked it closely I never found it. But always remembered it. now, I always make certain I have access to a safe, the wallet, extra cash, jewelry and the replacement watch go in the safe. Lesson learned.
BTW, I always keep the wedding band on. A long time ago a provider explained to me how a wedding band can help a provider relax a little.
Wow! After years of lurking, look what I did!
