I read about it being ok to message members if you had additional questions about a girl. Well i thought id message a few reviewers of a provider i wanted to meet. Still havent seen my first yet.However,after what happened with the members on this site, i seriously am thinking about closing my account here.

I messaged a clean email from this site to a few members stating it was my first time and that i wanted to know if i should be especially aware of anything about the provider. My goal was maybe some help in knowing what to expect beyond the reviews. Some of the content of that message was sensitive in nature,meaning a provider having read it would probably find it to be offensive. Nothing serious but i did add things like, missing teeth, poor hygiene, as questions.

Anyways, turns out 2 of these reviewers, veterans with references and lots of reviews forwarded my message directly to the provider. She messaged me not long after the message i sent to them. I was embarrassed. The 3rd guy just answered back with words only a jerk would say. The only reason i can think of why a member of this community would do this is becuase they arent really reviewers but actually connected to these women in some profitable way or theses arent really members at all but the women themselves. What the fuck is up with this?

Lesson 1 you should take from this site...almost all of the guys respect what the woman do, understand limits, and treat providers with the utmost respect.  

If you sent a message that a provider would find offensive what would make you think that a guy wouldn't find it equally as offensive?  trust me if a provider was missing teeth or had bad hygiene it would be mentioned in the review.  

Please don't take offense at this but you didn't have to tell the guys you were a newbie, your message would only have been sent by a newbie.  

take a step back, look at the providers website, read the review, and take them at face value...if there is a deal breaker in the bunch it will be mentioned.  To be honest, whenever I get a message to elaborate on a review I've done my response is always the same "I have nothing else to add to the review".

Whenever I see men recommend PMing the reviewer to elaborate I am always confused. Some of the men who have seen me have had guys PM them asking questions about me. Each time (that I know about) they were annoyed. If they had anything to say it was said in the review.

I don't know why the need for so much info. If a woman has reviews, is reviewed by men with a history on the site and is within your budget, why the need for a War and Peace length dissertaion on her? Just book her, fuck her and pay her.

It ain't rocket science people!

I have received PMs in the past regarding providers that I have reviewed.  This is how I generally respond to them.

If the person asking the questions is a complete unknown with no reviews and not much of a posting history, then I simply respond that I have nothing to add to what my review states.  My fear here is that I do not know anything about the questioner.  I have no idea what their client persona is like and I don't even know if they might be LE or someone else with an agenda.

If the person asking the question is someone with a review and posting history, then it depends on the type of questions that are being asked.  If they are reasonable and not too intrusive, I will respond with some elaboration or specific info.  If the questions are regarding private info or are crudely stated, then I will simply delete the PM with no response.

The thing is, some guys are looking for something very specific.  Veteran reviewers here also know that many things get glossed over or left out entirely from reviews.  That is just the way it is.  I could also say that many guys take ... uh ... liberties with their fictionalization of their encounters with providers.  You can't always believe what you are reading.

It all depends on who is doing the asking, what they are asking for, and how they are asking the question.

I have sent a couple of PMs regarding providers I am interested in.  Usually I do it because there is some kind of discrepancy from review to review.  If she doesn't have much of a review history, it is sometimes difficult to "know" where the truth lies.  This is especially the case if you don't know any of the reviewers.

I think your mistake is getting caught up in unfair stereotypes which in actuality don't really exist with providers on here:

..."but i did add things like, missing teeth, poor hygiene, as questions."

These are offensive to providers which are not to be confused with street walkers. Unless your budget is well below market rate- or you are a cheapskate- these are not things you will encounter if you have read reviews and there is no mention of these things.

It sounds like your email was not respectful in nature and thus the gentleman wanted to warn the ladies of a potentially bad client. I know you probably don't believe this but we do develop friendships and stay in contact with each other.

If you PM a guy about a provider that he likes and your PM comes off as offensive he may very well forward it to her so that she will be armed with information about a potentially troublesome customer.

Honestly, I get PM's and send PM's about providers occasionally but the questions I ask are generally quite a bit more innocuous than the ones I get asked. I don't kiss and tell when it comes to guys asking specifics about activities and I would never ask a question about specifics either.

There are no guarantees in life or in the hobby. Read the reviews and decide if you want to see a lady.  To some extent it's always a roll of the dice.

however the answers tend to be pretty generic, and mostly come down to opinions.

When someone indicates they don't have experience I try to help them along.

As for the reviews being written by providers? Stranger things have happened, but if there is any kind of review history or white lists, than I doubt it's the case.

As mentioned, I only PM a reviewer with a specific question of something that interest me (I'm into puffy labia). I have also PMed a reviewed when something struck me as odd about the review and/or the reviewer. For example, I have found reviews that were not written by the owner of the TER username.

Beyond that, I will almost always give a provider a heads up if I receive/answer any questions from someone - good or bad. If he has a solid history, and I give her a thumbs up I will let her know. If someone comes in asking odd/offensive questions or has no history, I will tell her that too.

Someone is checking her out, and IMO she has a right to know. As a community we need to watch each others backs, if not provide a reach-around from time to time.

All that said, as a general rule it is not cool to share PMs with other folks. IMO, inquiries about someone are an exception.

I just went back over your post history and my conclusion is in the subject of this specific post. There's being cautious, and there's thinking about this so much that you just start drawing bizarre conclusions on appropriate conduct.

The whole point of TER is that well-reviewed ladies and the review community as a whole provide for a high-class, fun, atmosphere. Your sense of fear simply makes you ask quite stupid questions. This is the newbie board where stupid questions are welcome, but asking a reviewer whether he left out things like poor hygeine or missing teeth? If you asked me that I'd be offended as a reviewer! Why would I leave that out of a review or rate a girl high if she was a B&S or something akin to a bad movie stereotype?

Again, I look over your previous posts that wonder why you're having bad luck, and I think there may actually be something there. You contacted a newbie-friendly provider that then asked you for two references in addition to P411 info, so you might have given off the wrong vibe even then like you did in your PM's. Maybe more seasoned hobbyists and posters can elaborate, but you just need to lighten up so you can finally get into the hobby. Otherwise, it seems like you may simply tailspin yourself into oblivion.

about a woman in one of my reviews.  It was simple and to the point and I answered it in similar terms.  The question was "How attractive is she in the face?".  I gave him a number from 1-10 that I would not have been embarrassed to put in a review if the option was available.  

The person with the question had several reviews so I felt OK with answering.  People with 0 reviews are going to have one strike against them from the start though.  Put simply people here are going to be extra cautious providing details of any sort connected to a largely illegal activity to someone with zero record.  Even then, many would simply not answer, feeling that they have provided all the detail they are going to in their review.

This is the email i sent. I am probably having trouble because im researching too into this and as someone said "just pay her, fuck her, and leave-Not rocket science. However, its easy to say those things when you are 100 deep in sessions. Ill never personally message a member on this forum with questions again as it has proven to be a high school fiasco where he said/she said is typical. The way the response to this thread has been, im in the wrong and its perfectly fine for a member to send your emails to the person the topic is about.

"Hey man im new here and looking to have my first with someone you reviewed. I noticed you reviewed XXXXXXX- I was thinking maybe you could tell me a little about her. I just dont want to find a toothless bitch in a room or someone with bad hygiene. Thanks man"

If you want to talk trash go to the streets for your fun.

Generally speaking the men and women here are higher class.

Lose the bad attitude if you want to get into this hobby at a level higher than the gutter.

You come across as a total ass.

Still, if I got a PM from someone that had no visible history and made a foolish remark, I'd be less likely to help.

Sadly, like a lot of things in life, starting out in the hobby is the hardest part.

The message you gave with your PM was a total lack of respect for women, in general. With those types of comments, you won't be very likely to get much help from either side of the fence. I'm not saying that I would have forwarded the PM to the lady, but I certainly would have let you know my feelings on your complete disregard for the respect that's supposed to go both ways around here.

And as others have said, you might be over-thinking the whole purpose of why we're here. Have some fun for Chrissakes. Don't make it a part time job. Yes, play safe, but loosen up and have some fun.

No offense, but most of these reviews are bogus.  I always look for the worst review under the provider and read that one because chances are, that's the real review.  I also always add 5-8 years under "age" of the provider unless it is listed in the 21-25 bracket.

Even though the above holds true, you still need to use language that is respectful and decent.

Definatly, i should use better language. I talked to these members as casually as i could, i had no idea this was offensive language. The toothless bitch comment was not a direct assualt on the provider but more like a worry of what this provider can possibly be really like.

I may be new but i have enough people on this forum saying the same things im thinking. The reviews are skewed and untruthful and wrong. I sent a message to verify and learn something that a guy wouldnt want to put on a review out of respect for a provider. Between guys, you keep those things...between guys. Instead these guys forward my email directly to the provider and 2 things happen. 1. she doesnt get paid because i wont see her now and 2. Respect/trust between member on this website is broken.

I may have been offensive and i will work on that but what these guys did is a real bitch move.

I've been watching this thread for a few days, and the reason you weren't getting a response seemed obvious to me. You are an unknown quantity with no reviews and no posting history. I'd be furious if a total unknown contacted someone who had reviewed me, and the reviewer then spilled the beans. He knows fvck all about the person contacting him. Discretion is the order of the day, remember?

So that at least explained why you weren't getting any responses, or getting little more than "i have nothing more to add" responses. Shouldn't take rocket sceince to figure out that you aren't going to get any information if no one knows who you are.

But your response here now explains why some gentlemen were kind enough to not only give you the brush off, but also give the ladies a heads up as well. "I just don't want to find a toothless bitch"?? Take your money and shove it up your ass buddy because I'm pretty sure that is as close as you are going to come to getting laid with that attitude and mentality. You think with that sort of lack of respect a guy is going to jump up and down to help you see a lady he spent time with, enjoyed, and intends to see again? You think with that basic lack of respect any woman is going to want to see you? Hell no. You money isn't green enough.

Kudos go out to the men who went the extra mile and gave the ladies fair warning to avoid you.

You're setting yourself up thinking like that but w/e works for you. There are bogus harsh reviews too. You should look for consistency but w/e hope your logic is doing you well.

well the provider has been very nice still and has messaged me a few times after the incident but i just told here that im no longer comfortable seeing her and i apoligized. She wasnt offended at all about the email.

This thread raises and interesting question about the accuracy of the reviews posted.  I think a lot of guys who generally liked the provider will leave out any flaws they may have noticed.  I know this is true in the reviews I have written. It may be because I worry that the provider may read them and I don't want to offend or hurt their feelings. Providers I would not see again, I don't write reviews for.  Not because they weren't as advertised but because the chemistry just wasn't right.

I think its wise to read reviews with one thing in mind, YMMV...this hobby is all about finding the perfect fit for you.  Personalities, style, appearance, etc...are all highly individual things and what works for me won't work for you.

I think its a poor practice to choose who you review and who you don't.  That will obviously skew the accuracy.  I review everyone I'm with and I'm as honest as possible.  When a provider is great but I know its because of the connection I say that, typically "she did exactly what I liked" or "she was just my type".  

If I had encountered a provider who was "a toothless bitch"...even typing it here gives me the creeps...I think my choice of adjectives would be different but I would comment on her appearance in the negative "her apperance wasn't what I expected" or something like that.

Every provider I've been with was extremely respectful of me and I of them.  Commenting to the negative isn't disrespectful its the real world, but doing so with crass or offensive choices of words is.

where she said he was a total ass.  Newbie board is for helping.  It's good advice; just a little harsh.