Services like date-check don't require employment information. They do require a credit card number and that's how you could end up being found.

But I believe they are safe enough. I've used them. They will post the charge on your credit card with something innocuous but you will need to be prepared if your wife sees that statement. The charge sounds like some online service that could be almost anything.

Unfortunately, I never got any good providers via date-check, so it was a waste of cash for me.